


My Clarity

by Nathaliafl123



Series: A Fantasy on Four Parts [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: All sorts of sexual acts that I eventually will tag, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Anal Sex, Drunk Heichou, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Foot Fetish, Hanji's sex toy gifts, Lapdance, Levi's cute pets, Levi's sad-ish past, M/M, Oral Sex, Past Levi/Erwin Smith, Uke Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), crybaby Levi, my art embedded, ooc levi, teacherxstudent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-06
Updated: 2015-08-12
Packaged: 2018-01-23 18:20:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 30
Words: 48,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1575038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nathaliafl123/pseuds/Nathaliafl123
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren's POV. He and his teacher, Mr. Levi Heichou, develop their complicated relationship into an illegal affair that no one seems to care about. Contains fluff, lots of smex, all sorts of kinks (because this Levi needs tons of sex), cheesy romance, and headcanons from the real anime.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hell

**Author's Note:**

> my tumblr is http://nat-loves-yaoi-just-cuz.tumblr.com/ so if anyone wants to say hi or something that you dont want to comment here, go ahead :)  
> tracking the tag #fic:my clarity btw

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Eren is confused about his teacher. Pretty much all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this one parallel to my sister's "When Camaraderie Becomes Passion." (read her chapter first for background info) In this, Levi's full name is Levi Heichou. I was going to name him (SPOILER) Levi Ackerman, but then I realized that doing so would question Mikasa's being an orphan with no relatives. Sorry for anything ill-written. Thanks for reading, though.  
> 

     I scarf down some scrambled eggs and bacon that WOT always provides us for breakfast on Mondays. Grease is smeared on my lips but I don’t care; I’m not getting ready fast enough.

     I’m late for school already.

     Armin scrambles down the stairs, all ready in his brown and white uniform, and tosses me my jacket. I catch it after I swallow the last bacon strip and quickly tug it on.

     “Hurry up, Eren! We have to run today; Mikasa left ten minutes ago walking, and she never leaves without you,” Armin has the door open wide and I bolt outside, leaving my empty plate for a housekeeper.

     It doesn’t take us long to catch up with Mikasa because apparently she isn’t wearing her watch and is also going to be late.

     I’m wearing mine and it reads five to eight—five minutes to sprint the half-mile to school through street lights.

     “Mikasa, we’re gonna be late!” I yell over the sound of traffic.

     She turns her head to the right to look at me.

     “You are,” she utters before she runs far ahead of us.

     Armin breathes hard, “Mikasa, wait up!”

     “Fuck! Mikasa!!” I cuss; she is way out there, going 100 miles an hour, I’m sure.

     There’s plenty more running, breathing, yelling, and cussing from then on but who cares.

     I’m late.

     Mr. Hannes’s eyes widen when I slam the classroom door open, hoping that the bell hasn’t actually rung despite what my ears heard. He folds his arms and taps his foot, shaking his head at me.

     The class is staring at me like I am the only one that has ever been late in the history of forever. I just rub the back of my neck and hang my head, sighing, trudging to my seat in the back next to Jean. He smirks and chuckles and I want to slap his smug face silly. I sit down and mutter, “Horse-faced idiot,” under my breath.

     Apparently, I wasn’t quiet enough because Jean immediately frowns and flips me the birdie. I do so too.

     “Ahem,” Mr. Hannes sits at his desk, reading—something we should all be doing since it is SSR time. I’m usually playing games on my phone under the table or doodling in my math notebook.

     I scoff at him and put my head into my folded arms on my desk. Teachers are such assholes.

     Especially Mr. Heichou. Oh God, his constant insults and punishments never, ever end. He has once made me mow the football field with a pair of safety scissors, just for forgetting my math homework at home. Let’s just say that the moon was out _way_ before I finished cutting. Jeez, that man is impossible.

     And a fucking slut. Since I sit right up front in third period, I have to stare straight at his ass when he’s writing on the whiteboard and it always seems like he’s doing it on purpose. Then, the way he constantly stares at me during a test like I’m going to grow fifteen meters tall is really annoying. It makes me feel special in a bad way.

     After a rally, first period World History, and second period Creative Writing, I arrive in the dreaded third period Pre-Calculus. I don’t know how the heck I’m _still_ in this class with the D on my report card. I actually used to be pretty decent at math which is how I got into this level, but Mr. Heichou has made it worse than hell.

     I plop down in my front row seat, anticipating the worst. The bell rings and my teacher stomps toward my direction, yelling my name. He slams his hands on either side of my desk.

     “Did you not study for the last test?! You missed more than half of the questions!” Mr. Heichou scolds, dark eyebrows scrunched up in anger.

     I actually did study his notes, but they aren’t that sufficient anyways, so of course I bombed the test. But I’m too meek to say something against those blazing eyes.

     I just don’t expect what’s next.

     “For punishment, you shall go to that boy’s restroom around the corner and clean the toilets with this toothbrush!” he spits, forcing a frayed toothbrush into my hands, “And they must be spotless!!! Do I make myself clear?!”

     I quickly stand up and mockingly salute, “Yes sir!” then scramble out of the room. But just as I reach the open door, Mr. Heichou shoves my ass out with his foot and then slams the door on me.

     Ugh, I caught the satisfied look on that short creep’s face. What a sadist.

     I grumble to myself as I drag my feet across the linoleum to the boy’s bathroom. It’s not far but I hate every minute. He’s making me waste a period cleaning when I could be maybe learning instead. What a waste.

     Just my luck. As soon as I open the door, the odor of old piss slaps me in the face and I realize that he’s making me clean the dirtiest, smelliest one.

     It’s like he’s begging me to hate him.

     Still, I get to work scraping, brushing, and cleaning every square centimeter of the porcelain thrones.

     I’m as done as I’m ever going to be. The toilets are sparkling clean; hopefully, that mysophobe will think so too.

     Fourth period has already started but I still have to report back to the petite demon. It’s too bad that he doesn’t have a fourth period—I would love to interrupt his lecture to tell the boys present that the toilets are clean.

     He is sitting at his desk with a leg across the other knee, drinking from a mug, staring out the window. The mug reads “Levi Heichou” and I now know his first name.

     The man glances my way for a moment, “I see you’re back so soon. Are the toilets whiter than white?”

     “Spotless,” I shove the dirty toothbrush into his waiting hand, “Can I get a late pass to German?”

     His quiet eyes give me a once-over. They catch on mine and I suddenly look away. I am leaning on one arm on his desk. He grabs my hand and I immediately yank it away.

     “What?” I back up a bit, but he just stands up and steps in front of me. Despite his diminutive size, he is actually really intimidating.

     He pulls on my collar so that our eyes meet. He is now close enough that I can smell the contents of his mug—coffee—on his warm breath. He is close enough that he could possibly kiss me, but that doesn’t make sense—he despises me. Still, my heartbeat quickens and I flush.

     “What do you want, Mr. Heichou?” I question in a small voice.

     He squints momentarily, then throws me away from his face. Then he scribbles on a pass and shoves it at my chest.

     “Go to class, Eren.”

     I blink a few times, unbelieving, then scuttle off to German class.

     _What the hell was that?_

_Sketch Dump for this chapter:<http://fc06.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2014/213/a/8/hell_sketch_dump_by_nathaliafl123-d7ta69c.jpg>_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will update whenever I can. AP testing right now, so this post is rare.


	2. Something's Wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren continues through his classes and questions his sexuality at the same time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long and sorry it's so short! Next one is longer I think. And better, I promise. I already have until chapter seven on paper, just need to keep typing.

    Mr. Pixis was nice enough to let me sit at the back of the class because of my offending smell. Thanks a lot. That’s just great.

     I pick at my nails with a scowl plastered on my face, tuning out the German language. I don’t really need to pay attention to the lecture; I’ve been learning German since I could talk. Language is my strong suit—German and Creative Writing are my only As—but math and science are pretty much the death of me.

     Speaking of math, I can’t get that midget out of my head. His dark expression, his marble hands, his tight lips—I hate them all so much. But what’s weird is, I find them strangely alluring.

     When his lips were mere centimeters from mine, I couldn’t help but imagine what could have been next. His velvety lips could have touched mine, lightly or even passionately, with questionable intention. I surprised myself then when I pictured what could happen after: caressing, more kissing, suckling—why did I visualize any of this? Me, kissing my male teacher?! The teacher who punishes me for the silliest things, even!

     I’m becoming strange.

     The bell rings loud and clear through my reverie, pulling my sophomoric head out of the gutter. Thank God for school bells. That thought bubble could’ve gone somewhere worse.

     It’s now lunchtime and Mikasa drags me to a table in the cafeteria. Armin sits next to me while my sister gets our food; she’s strong enough to carry out three trays alone—even stronger than that, really.

     I don’t speak, causing Armin to ask, “Something wrong?”

     I just shake my head. Mikasa arrives with our lunches, and she quickly detects my mood, which isn’t entirely bad or good.

     “Eren!” she grabs my shoulders, looking at my aqua eyes with deep concern, “What’s wrong? Did Jean bully you again when I wasn’t looking? Did you fail an essay?”

     I blink up at her, “No…It’s nothing. Seriously.”

     She eyeballs me, “Did that shortie give you a hard time again? You know how much I don’t like it when the two of you are together!”

     “Not really,” I stand and sort of smile, “I’m fine, see?”

     Mikasa looks me over, then down at Armin who shrugs. I sit back down and let my eyes wander as I pick at my food. That idiot Jean passes us by and chuckles; I’m sure it’s because of me so I can’t help but clench my spoon in anger.

     I take a breath, “Armin, do I smell like urinal cake?”

     The intelligent blonde looks at me with a bewildered expression—apparently, he hadn’t heard what happened in third period, so Mikasa tries to explain.

     “N-not really, Eren…” Armin utters meekly.

     “Sorry, Eren, but you pretty much smell like shit.”

     I turn around and there is Springles, Trost High’s junior class’s third-favorite couple, next to Ymir and Krista, and the most famous Bertholdt and Reiner. None of these couples could last a minute apart from each other.

     Connie does the talking this time because Sasha is still stuffing her face with some bread rolls.

     “How are the oval offices? Sparkling clean like that asshat Heichou’s desk?”

     I put on my mean face, “Like you haven’t been the one spending time wiping it just to get him off your back.”

     Connie scoffs and raises an eyebrow as if asking if that is a challenge. Mikasa is instantaneously ready to hold the both of us off if we blow up. Armin is already under the table, hugging his knees. He’s had bad experiences with fights and bullies in the past; poor kid.

     But the bell decides to ring. Impeccable timing, again.

     Connie and Sasha laugh.

     “Well, I guess we’ll just have to see you around, Eren,” Sasha giggles.

     “Yeah, yeah,” I gather up my unfinished meal and toss in into the garbage can.

     Those two are lucky to be in love, I think to myself as Mikasa and I stroll to Chem class.

     Me, well, I don’t really have anyone. I mean, sure I love a lot of people, like Mikasa and Armin, but I don’t have anyone like Connie, Bertholdt, or Ymir does. Lately, there hasn’t been a single girl catching my eye—not a single one. And it’s even making me go so far as question my sexuality. Am I maybe gay? Or bisexual, at least? The thing is, neither the girls OR the guys have been interesting me lately. No one has. Until earlier today. Levi Heichou’s such a confusing person, but now that I think about it, he’s kind of irresistible. Today’s fourth period encounter made me realize the extremely sexy pheromones that he’s giving off. He’s just sorta…sexy…

     Oh, God, did I just think that?

     “Eren Jaegar?”

     I hear Ms. Hanji call me up to the front. She is the single craziest Chemistry teacher I have ever met; she tests out dangerous chemicals on her students, mainly Ymir, Reiner, Bertholdt, and me. Annie had her last year and told us that we should be grateful that there are four of us test subjects—she was the only one in her period.

     This week, I have proved to be the most resilient against the chemicals for the experiments Ms. Hanji is doing in order to get her Master’s degree. She’s so close to graduating that even I can taste it.

     I start tuning class out once I get in the front. Ms. Hanji says something about acids that I just don’t hear. Instead, I have the weirdest daydream.

     I don’t know what I look like, but I am really tall, way taller than the buildings. I am holding my giant hands cupped together close to my face. In my hands stands Mr. Heichou, strangely wearing our school uniform but with a green cape draped around his shoulders. He is yelling something at me, but I can’t hear him. My eyesight is foggy and so is my hearing. But I do hear a bloodcurdling scream and then everything fades to white.

     I am back in Chem class and the bell is about to ring for sixth. Somehow I got into my seat and fell asleep; there is a puddle of drool on my table, and my lips are wet. I never fall asleep in Chem; I can’t afford to miss a minute of it.

     Something’s very wrong with me today.

Sketch Dump for this chapter: <http://fc02.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2014/213/7/a/something_s_wrong_sketch_dump_by_nathaliafl123-d7ta6pl.jpg>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just realized that I'm having a hard time making their relationship escalate slowly so i'm sorry if they are too fast in developing!


	3. Alarming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren is needed by Levi for something...special, I suppose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW 2 in one weekend. ok i'm happy now

     Sixth period Water Polo is probably the best class all day. I get to have fun, be competitive, get a workout, and mentally relax, all at the same time. Many students don’t join because it’s such a brutal sport—which is why we barely have enough members—but I like it because of that brutality. It really is a great sport.

     We’re just practicing for next week’s game—our first one of the season—so everyone’s kinda chilling. Nac comes up behind me in the water and claps my shoulder.

     “Ready for Tuesday yet?” he smiles.

     I shrug, “I guess. Still need to practice throwing farther with my other arm.”

     Nac nods, then his eyes widen, “Heads up!”

     He shoves me under the water and he goes down too. A flurry of bubbles ensues when the ball splashes in between us. Gosh, if Nac wasn’t paying attention either, we’d both be going home with one more bruise.

     We come up for air and Nac chuckles.

     “Good going,” I tell him before I hear “Is Eren Jaegar here?”

     I look around and spot Armin, looking youthful in his volleyball uniform. He looks out of breath as he glances around hurriedly. I decide to soothe his worries.

     “Over here, Armin!”

     Armin sees me and sighs in relief, “Mr. Heichou said that he needs to see you after school.”

     “How did you hear that?” I ask before I remember that he has AP Calc BC with Mr. Heichou fifth period, “Oh, nevermind.”

     Armin smiles, “Yeah,” he turns around, “Okay, don’t forget otherwise I’m sure you’ll have to clean something worse than the stalls.”

     I chuckle uneasily, “What could be worse?”

     Armin laughs as he leaves and I am alone again; Nac left to play with the others when Armin came.

     My brain and my heart unconsciously run wild. What in the world could he possibly want from me? An actual kiss? I mean—no, that’s exactly what I mean. I’m still not sure why, but I feel the need to kiss this man. All day, he’s been lurking in my thoughts and I can’t get him out. Now, he wants to see me out of class?

     A day ago, I would gag at the mere prospect of it—dread the cruel possibilities. Now, I don’t even know; I’m really conflicted.

     But I do know that I’m looking forward to the end of the school day.

     We’ve been practicing—really only playing around in the water today—so I start getting ready. I get out of the pool, dripping wet, and then dry off. Nac sees me and does so too. We go into the locker room and change back into uniform. Finished, Nac stands in front of a mirror and runs his hands through his dark hair. The bell rings and my heart picks up speed.

     I don’t realize it, but I find myself racing to room ­­­­160. It's quite far from the gym locker room, so even though I am very athletic, I find myself basically out of breath when Mr. Heichou waves his hand for me to come in.

     He smiles, but only the slightest bit, “I see that Armin has delivered my message. Sorry for the sudden call.”

     “He did at water polo practice,” I shrug, “It’s fine. What do you need me to do?”

     Mr. Heichou wants me to sit, but I stay standing.

     “Well, it’s more like what I can do for you. You see, I’ve been thinking about it lately, and I would  like you to try accepting some extra tutoring from me, since you’re so bad at math,” he crosses his arms and looks up at me.

     I don’t have the happiest expression displayed on my face at the moment, “Thanks a lot. Well, you haven’t exactly been the best person to me either.”

     “Oh, really?” he raises an eyebrow, “How so?”

     How so? How so?! This man must be out of his mind! I could think of a million ways to prove my claim—a third period incident earlier today, perhaps.

     But all I can think of is the embarrassing moment in fourth period and all of my immature, dirty thoughts.

     “I-I…uhm, I mean, you…” I stutter then sigh in frustration, “You just have such a tight ass…”

     Mr. Heichou actually blushes. Then I realize the slip of my tongue and I blush too.

     “I mean, you are such a tight ass, like when you…you…uhm…crap,” I rage quit, “Ugh, why is it so hard to talk to you?!”

     I bite the thumb edge of my palm, staring down, cussing myself out for the millionth time today. He must think that I’m just a stupid, no-good, blathering idiot.

     Mr. Heichou just blinks, opening and closing his mouth like he has something to say. Instead, he silently moves to stand in front of me.

     The man is around ten centimeters shorter than me, which makes me think he is a lot younger than I know he is—somewhere in his thirties. But I am only seventeen. Oh god, if we start dating or anything like that, we’d be committing illegal activities! Yet, what if he maybe likes me…Wait, why am I considering such an abnormal, impossible thought?

     Because he fucking kisses me. Yup, he yanks my collar, bringing our lips closer and closer until they touch. I am completely caught off-guard.

     First, the kiss is just a soft peck; something I can barely detect. When he pulls away, I immediately pull him back for an encore. The kisses I give him are fast and hot, then wet and hungry as our tongues fight for dominance. The kiss has escalated really quickly, and I can’t help but love every second of it. I hold him tightly and just keep sucking on his delicious tongue. My mind is going crazy. I can’t get enough of him—he tastes so good and feels so right.

     But so wrong.

     I abruptly turn my head away, wiping off our saliva with my jacket sleeve. Then I slowly look back at Mr. Heichou.

     He is slightly gliding his tongue over his top lip, looking to the side in a bit of thought. He brushes his hair with his fingers in such a mundane way that it really gets me wondering why he would instigate such a hot makeout session.

     My heart will not slow down and I can barely breathe, “…uhm…uh…Mr. Heichou?...what just—?”

      “Here,” he pulls a folded piece of paper from his pocket and puts it into my sweaty hand, appearing emotionless, “just…go on now. Go home, Eren.”

     I blink quickly, and then get the hell out of there. Once I close the door behind me, I realize that the door was wide open and we could have been seen very easily.

     Well, we were.

     Marco Bodt is sitting on the linoleum, hugging his knees and tapping his feet. He is texting someone until I shut the door, and then he looks up, immediately blushing.

     “I’m sorry—I just had a calc question; I didn’t mean to—sorry, I won’t tell anyone…” he stammers nervously.

     I flush crimson again for the umpteenth time today, “It’s…okay, Marco. Just a little…mishap, I guess…”

     I tap his shoulder and shuffle away quickly.

     Thank God it was Marco. If it was Jean, I would’ve been dead on the spot. If it was Mikasa, Levi—I mean, Mr. Heichou—would’ve been, too.

     Once I reach my school locker, I rest my forehead on the cool metal and try to breathe normally. I take a gander at my watch; it has only been fifteen minutes since the bell for the end of school rang. It feels like it’s been hours.

     Levi Heichou is on my mind for the entire rest of the day: when Mikasa demands to know if ‘that shortie’ did anything to me, when Armin tries to calm her down, when I do homework, when I eat. Especially when I go to bed.

     Brushing my teeth at eleven o’clock, I remember that I have yet to read Mr. Heichou’s note. I spit into the sink, rinse, and then go to get the paper off of my desk. It is just some random notebook paper, who-knows-where-from. I open it up and see the ten digits and the twenty-five words staring straight at me.

     _“This is my cell number. If you need help outside of school, I don’t mind getting a call as long as it’s you, Eren,_

_~ Levi”_

     My heart is beating out of my chest. I flop onto my bed and clutch the note to my belly.

     I’m dreaming, right? 

     This is just…really weird and really sudden. I remember, just a few hours ago, I was vowing to hate him forever. Now…I just don’t hate him, not at all. Sure, he was a little harsh with his punishments, but they can be forgiven for…Right?

     “Ugh...” I groan out loud, covering my eyes with the paper. I can’t handle this crap. I need sleep.

     But my dreams are no escape.

     I can’t hide from it anymore—my subconscious likes and lusts for…Levi? Can I call him that?

     In my dream it is pitch black. I can’t tell if I’m sitting down or standing up; all I can do is feel. I feel his lips on mine, his hands on mine—his naked skin on mine. Then he wanders his fingers, down even to my needy nether regions. I don’t know what he does or how he does it, but it feels really, extremely good.

     And it leaved me in the morning with a boner.

     “Shit!” I cuss, pulling my sheet off and shuffling to my bathroom. I have woken up ten minutes before my alarm; apparently my body has anticipated that.

     I strip off my boxers and sit on the toilet, surprised at having woken up to such a bad erection. I try taking care of it, but it doesn’t end after coming once. I find myself unconsciously moaning “Levi” as I cum a second time. I curse myself for having uttered such a controversial word, but I suppose I can’t help myself anymore. Memories of yesterday stay with me and I can’t stop thinking about Levi.

     My alarm goes off and I start getting ready for another day of school.

 Sketch dump for this chapter: <http://fc02.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2014/213/a/e/alarming_sketch_dump_by_nathaliafl123-d7ta7b7.jpg>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i havent been updating my sister's fanfic; she hasn't been writing much lately. hopefully once school ends, she will


	4. Glee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Eren writes a story, fails a quiz, and is a lovestruck idiot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a little while, but now that it's finally SUMMER i will start posting chapters more often! Hope you guys stick with me to the unknown end... quq

     Ms. Ral sits at her desk patiently while we scribble away at our stories. Today’s in-class writing is on a time in which the main character changes his or her mind, and the first thing that comes to me is what I am feeling about Levi. Crap. I quickly switch my planned storyline and change the character to one of my personal, frequently-used OCs, Joshua. I write about food.

     _To eat the cookie or not to eat to cookie, that is the question…_

     I complete the essay within the forty-five required minutes, not a second more or less. My hand aches, indicating that I’m still not quite used to this, writing in only late September. It doesn’t feel like we’ve only been in school for a month and a half, nor does it feel like I’ve only known Levi for this short amount of time. It feels more like I’ve hated him forever. But now…I just don’t. I actually… _like_ him.

     What pesters me the most are the internal questions that I’m constantly asking myself: What changed? Why? Why do I like my teacher? Who is he to me, really? Did yesterday actually, truly happen?

     The bell rings and it is now snack. Annie, who’s in this past class, comes up behind me and taps my shoulder. I turn around and she is expressionless, like usual.

     “So…”

     I instantly _freak_. Shivers of anxiety run up my back as she drawls out her actual question in boredom. I just feel like she’s gonna ask me about Levi, I know it! But I thought that I could trust Marco…

     “…did you finish?”

     Huh?

     Oh. She didn’t ask about…Wow, I’m such a blubbering idiot…

     “Um, yeah. It was a piece of cake, really. Speaking of which, I wrote about food. You?”

     “My OCs decision on whether or not to kill certain people. Nothing much. Okay, I’ve got somewhere to be, and I’m sure you do to. Later,” Annie inserts earphones into her ears and strolls away, blasting some Paramore.

     I shrug; it’s whatever. She’s always like that. But _gosh_ , I’ve gotta stop being so jumpy lately.

     I only just wander the hallways, going to the bathroom and my locker when I pass by. I don’t feel like being around my friends right now, and it seems like everyone can sense that. I think to myself a lot, until the bell rings and it is third period Pre-Calc.

     Oh, math. Levi.

     Crap.

     As I shuffle into class with my notes in hand, my mind is a mess. Everything is jumbled and Levi is second on my thoughts.

     First is that there is a quiz today.

     I’m fucked; I didn’t have the time, energy, or motivation to study last night. Instead of thinking about Pre-Calc, I was fantasizing about my Pre-Calc teacher for God’s sake.

     These teenage hormones have got to stop.

     The tardy bell rings and I realize that I have sat down. Levi is sitting at his desk, rubbing his temples with his fingers. He has dark circles under his eyes—darker than usual.

     Huh. So he didn’t get good sleep either. I suppose it serves him right.

     Levi—Mr. Heichou—whatever, gets up and starts to pass out the quizzes without another word. I get the first one in the pile and I am caught in a state of disbelief when I read the top.

     Above the directions, there is a short paragraph:

     “I’m sure you didn’t study last night because you were too busy thinking. Don’t worry; I was thinking about you too. So, I want you to try your hardest for the next twenty minutes and then come in either at lunch, after school, or both, and we can begin our first tutoring session. It’s your choice.”

     After reading, I just stare. And stare. And stare.

     _How the hell does he know?_

     I hear Levi clear his throat and glance at me. Apparently, the time started five minutes ago. Whoopsie.

     I look at the first question and almost groan aloud.

     Should’ve studied Pre-Calc instead of jacked off to my midget teacher.

     I stuff my Speedo into my athletics locker and slam the door quickly. Sixth period has just ended and I am on my way to my first tutoring session with Levi.

     German and Chem just flew by; I can’t seem to remember what happened in those periods. I’m sure that I failed something or other. Just like my Pre-Calc quiz.

     So I decided not to study during lunch. I needed a break from him. Instead, I spent some time with Mikasa and Armin, only to have Jean poke his horse-face into our group just to spread the rumor that Mr. Heichou is offering me “special” tutoring. God, the way he snarls his words implies that there is supposed to be dirty play between me and my teacher. I guess it could maybe go that way.

     Wait—what am I thinking, _again_?

     Fucking Kirstein. He read the note on my quiz _accidentally_. Nosy motherfucker.

     Thinking back on that, I’m not exactly the happiest camper at the moment.

     When I close his door, I spot Levi writing some math stuff on the whiteboard already. He tells me to lock the door and I hesitantly do. I don’t know why we need it locked, so I ask.

     “Because I’m only offering it to you and I don’t want any rumors spreading.”

     I scoff, “Too late for that. Damn Jean got his grubby fingers on my quiz and told the whole school, I’m sure.”

     Levi sighs and so do I, sitting down at my desk. Another empty desk has been adjusted in front of mine for him when he feels like sitting down. Right now, he is standing at the board with an Expo marker in hand.

     He starts the lesson and I realize something stupid: the real reason why I’m failing this class. It’s not really because I’m bad at math, or because my teacher hates me. It’s because I can’t pay attention to what I need to. Before, I always spaced out, thinking about various random things like video games rather than paying attention to Mr. Heichou’s lecture. Recently, I’ve being focusing more on him and his beautiful ass rather than what he’s been saying.

       Like right now. I see his brooding eyes staring into mine, his pointed nose, his mouth open in anger—

     “Eren! God, pay attention!” Levi’s voice rings in my ears, and he shakes his head in disapproval, “Maybe we should try some problems out on paper instead…Here.”

     He puts a short worksheet on my desk and a pencil in my hand, and then sits down in front of me. I blink back into reality and clear my thoughts.

     “Sorry…I was just spacing out…I will try to focus on these now.”

     “Good,” Levi smirks, which lifts a corner of his lips ever so slightly. I stare a moment too long.

     Oh, math. Right.

     I look down at the paper. There are three problems. I do the first one with ease, surprisingly. The second is a toughie, but I eventually solve it. The third one baffles all of the mathematics skills that I retain.

     “Um…Levi, I need help…” I look up at him and his cheeks are suddenly rosy.

     “Ah, fuck,” I slap my forehead, “Mr. Heichou, I mean.”

     He chuckles at my idiocy and doesn’t say anything about the obscenity, “Careful now, Eren…Wouldn’t want more _scandalous_ rumors spreading around us, would we?”

     I cringe, “No, sir, certainly not,” He doesn’t know, does he? “Can you help me now, please?”

     Levi’s dark eyes catch mine once, and then look down at the paper he has taken from me. He puts it back so I can write on it, “Do what you did for the second problem, but you have to substitute something else in for x.”

     I squint, looking at the question, but then my eyes widen in realization, “Oh!”

     A minute later, I have solved the third problem. It actually wasn’t that bad.

     “See? If you pay attention and try, you can do it, Eren…”

     “Thanks…” I put my hands down on the table, “But this is last week’s stuff. I haven’t a damn clue about this week’s!”

     Levi slowly lets his right hand rest on my left. Mine is rough but his is smooth like marble. It’s soothing, and I really like it. I turn my hand over to hold onto his. It is so nice, just like that.

     But it’s too good to be true, right?

     “We shouldn’t…be doing this, should we?” I glance at his face where a small smile occurs.

     “Not really…”

     “So, why?” I rub my thumb across his knuckles.

     Levi shrugs, “I dunno. I guess…you’re kind of special to me.”

     “But why?”

     He raises an eyebrow, “Is that all you can say, Eren?”

     I shrug with a ‘whatever’ expression. He tugs my hand closer to his plush lips and kisses my fingertips. He keeps looking down at my knuckles, muttering, “I must like you or something like that…”

     I blink and blush a light pink, “…Really? But…you’re so much older than me! And my teacher at that!”

     Levi pauses, setting down our hands, “Do you care about that? Does it bother you?”

     I ponder that for a moment. He’s really all I’ve been thinking about lately and his being a teacher has come up a couple of times. Yet, when I think about Levi, I remember his face, his voice, his hands…I completely forget that he’s my teacher and I’m not sure whether I should be worried or not.

     “Not really,” I finally answer.

     “Me neither,” Levi’s eyes wander, “but the problem is, if we’re caught, I could get fired. I can’t let that happen. Sorry, but my job is very important to me—”

     “No-no-no! I will not let that happen!” I take his hands in both of mine and pull them closer, “But…can we still try? I mean, recently, I just can’t stop thinking about you and all. I don’t know why, really…”

     Levi sighs, pulling his hand away to smooth out his obsidian hair, “Well…I suppose…But we can’t let anyone here know, otherwise I’m as good as fired.”

     I grin widely, “Yeah, okay…Uhm, can I call you Levi?”

     “Just not in class.”

     I laugh, returning my attention to the remaining worksheets. We breeze through them and I learn quite a lot, but it is material I should’ve studied last weekend. As soon as we finish tonight’s homework, I stretch and yawn, looking out the window at the setting sun.

     Levi notices my gaze, “You should probably head home now. I’ve kept you too long.”

     “Yeah, thanks for everything, _Levi_ ~” I snicker at the name to which he gives me a genuine smile.

     I gather my backpack and notebooks, “Shouldn’t you go home too?”

     He tosses a textbook into his crate, “Not yet. I have some business to attend to with Principal Smith.”

     I nod, heading off toward the locked door. Levi follows, unlocking the door and pushing it open.

     “I’m going this way, Eren. See you tomorrow.”

     “Hold on,” I grab onto his crisp, white shirtsleeve, “Uh…do you get texts?”

     “Yeah, I do.”

     “Perfect~!” I beam at him, gripping his chin softly. I quickly kiss his cheek, let go, and then run off in the opposite direction, stupidly giddy with glee.

 Sketch dump for this chapter: <http://fc07.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2014/213/f/6/glee_sketch_dump_by_nathaliafl123-d7ta8cs.jpg>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My sis helped me with the light romance here cuz i didnt know how to slowly (not really) escalate the luv


	5. Hanging Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Eren gets home and messes around on his iPhone and then is very happy at school, for once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, A BUNCH OF IMAGES, but that's not all. I have drawn the photos (you will read) and have posted them on deviantart AND within the fanfic, so please read to find out.

     I get home after night has fallen and the orphanage looks a lot like Mikasa happened.

     Armin answers the door and sighs with relief, “Eren! Where were you?”

     I blink like he should know where I’ve been, “Tutoring. Didn’t I tell you guys?”

     “Apparently not. Mikasa’s been turning the place so upside-down that I’m worried we’ll be kicked out,” Armin frets.

     “Ah, crap, I’m sorry,” I go in and find my sister throwing steak knives at a wall, “Gosh, Mikasa! Calm down!”

     She sees me and her eyes light up, “Eren! I was so worried! You didn’t get lost, did you?”

     She hugs me and I laugh, “No, Mr. Heichou was just helping me with some homework.”

     “For this long? Even I know you wouldn’t be able to stand his wrath for more than an hour; he didn’t do anything to you, did he?” Mikasa takes my face in her hands and looks into my eyes.

     “I’m fine, really.”

     She doesn’t believe me and I can tell but I still go up to my room alone. There is a tray of lukewarm dinner on my desk; Armin probably put it there. I eat the barbecued chicken, rice, and vegetables with glut since I haven’t truly eaten since breakfast. I finish and take the dishes downstairs. Mikasa and some others are watching “Vampire Diaries” because there is a new episode on, even though she seldom watches television. Although, it seems like one of the younger girls persuaded her to watch it.

     I go back upstairs to do homework for classes other than Pre-Calc since I’m done with that, thanks to Levi. On my way, I pass Armin’s room where it looks like he’s working on some intense Calc or Physics. I leave him be and retreat to my own room.

     My remaining homework—a short story to write for Ms. Ral’s class, some Chem problems, a worksheet for German, and something to read for World History—is collectively really easy, but time-consuming. It is midnight when I finish and a yawn quickly overwhelms me.

     I turn in for the night, checking Facebook on my iPhone 3. A new post comes up on my dash and it’s Connie Springer being an asshole, waking all of us up because he knows we have loud notification signals for Messenger.

     “Ahahaha!” I laugh out loud, and I’m sure Armin and Mikasa can hear me. I put my phone on my bedside table, charging, and I lie down in bed under the thin sheets. I smile to myself for some reason, and then make more cause for smiling when I pick my phone back up.

     I text Levi and he quickly answers me.

     An unintelligible squeal escapes my lips, and I don’t even want to know. But I still clutch my phone to my chest and roll around on my bed, stupid with happiness.

     I feel a buzz and Levi has sent me a picture of him holding an adorable tabby kitten up to the lens. The feline is really scruffy like he just bathed, and my subconscious just has to notice that Levi did too. His obsidian hair is shiny and wet; I can see droplets of water sliding down his neck and onto his bare chest, which is muscular but thin, which I really like.

     I unconsciously lick my lips and save the picture. Then I snap a photo of myself winking an eye at him.

 

     I sigh loudly and shut my phone off, flicking the light switch afterwards. Lingering thoughts of my dumb friends hang on and so do the words of my…my…what? I don’t even know what to refer to him as! He’s not really my boyfriend or lover yet—and I can’t call him my crush! Ugh, it’s all so complicated…

~

     It’s third period again the grin on my face couldn’t be larger than it already is. I got the highest score on Monday’s history test out of all 31 students and I aced yesterday’s story writing. We had heated discussions in both classes and I finally participated, making Annie visibly confused since I usually never participate.

     So, in this period, we have just taken a quiz, and because of yesterday’s session, I finally understood what the hell the questions were about. I’m sure I got a much higher grade than my past quizzes, for once this year. They used to just get worse.

     We’re now starting a new lesson and I’m trying my hardest to pay attention to the material, which I am surprisingly able to follow. The only time I lose track is when Levi once glances specifically at me while he lectures, to which I wink and then stare and his backside when he turns. It seems like he could sense my incessant gaze because he calls on me for an answer that I just happen to not have, which pisses him off a bit. He tells me to stay after class again and I chuckle.

     Oh, what the rest of the class doesn’t know…

     The bell rings and I stay after, following Levi’s orders. He looks kind of angry at me until the class is empty. Then he blushes.

     “Shitty brat, you kept staring at my ass.”

     I blink and then laugh, giving his bottom a little smack, which makes my teacher jolt, “Well, now, why wouldn’t I? It’s your best feature.”

     “Get out of here,” Levi jerks his head to the side to hide his embarrassment.

     I snicker, then quickly give him a peck oh his forehead, which is not hard to do since he’s so short. I get out of there immediately though. I still have German to get to.

~

     I spend lunch wandering around campus, eating my sandwich, walking in and out of Levi’s classroom. His room is usually sparse in students but today it is packed with Calc BC kids for an early AP review session, so they won’t be rushing in April, close to AP’s. Marco and Armin are both in there, intently listening to my man’s lecture.

     Huh. We were quick. I could swear he was just scolding me because I failed and made me clean the toilets. Oh, that was just this Wednesday. How time…doesn’t fly? I don’t know.

     The bell rings and I’m up to my ears in classmates.

     Somehow, I find my way to Ms. Hanji’s classroom before I’m late. Today is lab day and there is no one absent, indicating that this is a mandatory lab. We are allowed to choose our partners and, of course, Mikasa claims me for herself. She knows well enough that I’m horrible at handling chemicals safely. Among the other pairs are our three favorite eleventh grade couples, so Jean is left alone to be paired with another student. If Marco was in this class, those two would be partners, lickety-split.       

     In the lab, we are supposed to be drying a hydrate in order to determine its formula. Mikasa handles all of the materials—especially the fragile porcelain crucible—while I take down data and measurements, doing the calculations after. In observation of the others, the term “chemistry” sure applies. Even though Krista has already started the lab, her eyes lack protective gear, so Ymir quickly puts their goggles on, ensuing in a grateful look from Krista. Bertholdt yelps and hides behind his boyfriend when Reiner lights the Bunsen burner, which makes the shorter kiss the taller’s cheek, assuring that they won’t get burned. Connie has already dropped the crucible, so he and Sasha are cleaning the shards up together, both owing about four dollars each. They’re all so lovey-dovey that I’m getting nausea.

     I hope, though, that maybe Levi and I will be like that someday. That’ll be nice.

~

      There is an idea that’s been floating around my head all day: I really want to see Levi out of class, and this weekend is perfect—for me, at least. We need to have a first date; I’m just not sure the day, time, or place yet. Still working out the kinks.

     It’s just my luck to be thinking about this during water polo practice because I happen to get clocked in the head by the ball and actually pass out in the water. Someone carries me and gets my school uniform from my locker—probably Nac—because I am now in the nurse’s office.

     I’m lying down on a cot and it seems like I’m the only one in here but I hear the sounds of sniffling and coughing. I sit up, holding my head, and slide open the curtain. Bertholdt Hoover is sitting on a swivel chair, blowing his nose off. He waves shyly, and then goes back to coughing and doing homework.

     Shouldn’t he still be in band? Bertholdt’s sick so often that he doesn’t need the school nurse. Why is he in here?

     I glance at the clock; it is half an hour past school time. I was passed out that long?

     “Crap!” I jump out of the bed and hurriedly change into my uniform, shoving my Speedo into my backpack. I was planning on asking Levi about this weekend in person! I hope he’s still in his classroom…

     I get there but the door is locked shut. I also forgot that there is a meeting every Friday for teachers. I don’t even know how long it’s supposed to last; I never needed to know. I slide down onto the floor and wait for another half hour. When he doesn’t come, I decide to leave, hanging my head.

Sketch dump for this chapter: <http://fc08.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2014/213/e/1/hanging_out_sketch_dump_complete_by_nathaliafl123-d7ta8xw.jpg>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im wondering if anyone would actually like to draw the photos in this chapter? (comment below if u do) like how johannathemad drew pictures for lownly's like a drum? it would be nice. i will host them here (i.e. in the fanfic) if you want.


	6. Welcome

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Eren asks Levi out and they go on a date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so i've decided that this is actually a reincarnation AU, but u have to get to chapter eleven really until you can sense it.  
> and i've updated ch 5 with the photos :)

     It’s seven at night and I’ve just realized how dumb I am. Having already eaten dinner, I am chilling out on my bed, watching some of Springles’s Vines on my phone. My iPhone…

     Oh my god, I’m an idiot. I have Levi’s number.

     I go back to my old texts and find his. Then I type in a new text and we start a conversation:

     An inaudible scream comes out of my mouth and I blush profusely.

     Us. Date.

I. Love. You

     I can only think in single words; my brain’s having a hard time processing these things. I just send a picture of myself beaming widely, shirtless. He sends one back of him looking away from the camera, running a hand through his hair, blushing crimson. My Levi just seems so much shyer than he is in class, and I really like that part of him. It makes him appear to be so much younger—almost my age—rather than with the harsh tone of voice that he uses in class. Yet it seems like I love everything about him despite our past. All of that is behind us now, and I’m glad that it is. I want to learn so much more about the Levi I have now.

     It takes him longer to reply, probably because he is thinking about how to respond to my suggestive comment.

     That goes straight to my groin. Crap. I bite my hand, contemplating on what to say, but he’s not done.

     God, I hope he’s not pulling my leg. I wait a few moments but he doesn’t say “Just kidding” or something along those lines, so I answer and we keep texting.

 

    I chuckle, going back over the previous texts again. I stare at his pictures and they both captivate me. His pretty jawline, those sparkling obsidian eyes, the glint of light off of his onyx locks. His pale red lips are slightly wet in both pictures, like he licked them right before snapping the shutter. I glide my own tongue over my lips and before I know it, I am on my side, stroking my cock roughly. With one hand, I hold my phone out in front of me to see his face and fantasize, while I use the other hand to fondle myself.

     I imagine the two of us fucking in bed, something only porn mags and adult novels would give me an idea of how to do. I’m not sure what sort of role Levi would make me take, but, honestly, I really want to dominate him. I want to turn the tables and take the lead, showing my teacher that I can be good at something. I want him beneath me, moaning in pain and pleasure that only drives my libido further. I want to take him in the best way so than he stays mine.

     Wow, I’m possessive.

     My breath is ragged as I near my end and I’m cussing like a sailor. When I cum, the visual of Levi forcefully throwing his head back and arching his spine, mouth wide open in a silent shriek pushes me over the edge, moaning “Levi” over again.

     I’m left breathless and tired, almost too exhausted to clean up.

~

     I play video games and do homework until eleven in the morning and then I get ready for my date. Luckily, Mikasa is working at her part-time job until five, so I have a couple of hours to be out. I leave, telling Armin exactly where I’m going—he can keep a secret, I’m sure.

     I tear off the necklace that my father gave me before he died,—a golden key on a silver chain—the only tangible thing I have of my parents. I don’t want to trouble Levi with my petty issues if he finds the key when he strips me.

     If he strips me, I mean.

     I have to walk since, even though I know how to drive, I don’t have enough money to buy a car, even with the financial support from my grandparents. It’s okay, though, because the café is generally close. Halfway there, I pass a flower shop where they are giving away single flowers for free. I pop in and ask for a white rose to give my date. I know the language of flowers pretty well because Krista taught it to me and Armin years ago. I make sure that this flower is thornless and in full bloom so it will not just mean innocence and secrecy. This way, it means love at first sight—which is kind of ironic but I suppose it applies in a way—and the overused “I love you” even though we have yet to say those words with true meaning. It’s okay; we need a lot more time.

     I arrive at the café early and ask for “a seat for two.” I text Levi that I’m here but he doesn’t answer so he’s probably driving. Good for him, being able to resist answering. If it was me, I’d probably take the risk of a ticket, knowing my idiot self.

     He’s finally here at 11:59. I chuckle to myself at the timing, then wave him over from the entryway. He strolls over with the slight sway of his hips that I so very love. I’m so used to seeing him in professional dress that the outfit he is wearing seems so different on him. Levi has put on a crewneck, white T-shirt with a splattered black paint deco near the bottom and knee-length beige khakis that show off his toned, pale calves. My mouth is watering just looking at him but I immediately snap out of the trance.

     “Morning, sweetie,” I smile without teeth, holding out the single rose to him.

     He takes it in his slender fingers delicately, holding it to his nose to sniff, “Thanks, Eren.”

     I glance around to see if anyone is looking. Then I smooch Levi on his soft lips. He blushes and sits down in front of me. A bouncy waitress wearing many frills brings complimentary water glasses and sets them on the table, into which Levi puts the flower. She smiles knowingly and takes our orders.

~

     “You know, you could pass for a twenty-year old, Eren,” Levi comments, focusing on the road.

     The food was great and that waitress really deserved the large tips we gave her. When she offered one of the café’s plastic vases for the rose, saying that her tips would pay for it, Levi and I couldn’t help but smile at her generosity. Although, when I saw the rainbow-colored keychain on the back of her outfit, I detected a bit more than just generosity.

     I hold the vase between my legs now.

     We talked a lot in the café, but really only about likes, dislikes, and hobbies—the usual stuff. I learned quite a bit about my man: how he likes animals, dislikes dirt, and has a hobby of cleaning everything. I found out very little about his past, only about how he wanted to go into the military but Principal Smith convinced him to continue on in college and become a teacher. Even though it’s not much, it’s nice knowing this sort of stuff. At least, I like knowing more than I used to.

     Now, we’re on our way to Levi’s apartment. It is 1:30 and we’re talking about appearances. He has already complimented me on my eyes, saying that they are “mysteriously colored.” I think that I have been praising him plenty, but I just told him that he looks way younger than thirty-something.

     Commenting on his earlier statement, I say, “Not hardly,” sliding my hand to rest on his thigh, “The lack of a car gives it away.”

     Levi snorts as if I said something stupid, which I did, “Eren, tons of guys don’t own cars. You’ve been lied to, whomever told you that.”

     “Yeah, yeah,” I playfully walk my fingers to his knee, and he grabs my hand, pushing it away, “What?”

     “Stop it…” a blush creeps up his cheeks again, “That’s embarrassing and distracting…I’m trying to drive here.”

     I laugh to myself, “It’s all right; I won’t do anything to you…yet…”

     He blushes even darker once we hit a red stoplight, covering his eyes with a hand, sighing, “God, Eren. You’re such a horny teenager…”

     I grin, “Oh, yeah? That’s not the half of it.”

     When we are finally in the parking lot of his apartment complex, Levi seems awfully glad. He parks and gets out quickly, so I do too. His actual unit is on the tenth floor—the highest one—and this complex only has stairs as access. No wonder he has such toned calves.

     I’m almost out of breath when we get to the top and Levi seems just fine, the fit man he is. Even though I’m in water polo, he still surpasses me by much in terms of fitness.

     He unlocks the door and lets me in first. After putting the rose down on a table, I look around. I am struck by how sparkling clean the apartment appears and how fricking white it is. The smell of antibacterial soap and herbal tea permeates throughout the apartment and I slowly adjust to the smells. This must be where Mr. Clean lives.

     “Welcome home,” Levi smiles at me after he locks the front door shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter i promise you smut, ok? bear with my writing sowwy  
> btw i need uke levi too


	7. Driven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Eren and Levi have sex for the first time. (i.e. in which there is smut)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally it is this chapter. hopefully you have figured out how i title these chapters by now (a word or two from the last two lines of the chapter so i title them after finishing writing) i especially like how this title works

     “I’m back, Scout!”

     “Scout?” is all I can say before the orange tabby kitten from before jumps onto my head.

     Levi laughs as he takes it off and cradles the kitty in his arms. That is the most adorable thing I’ve seen all day so I take it as a photo opportunity. My man pouts after I snap the picture, so I also take one of me kissing his lips quickly. I look back at the pictures and grin while Scout is back on my head; I get used to him being there. Levi gets back at me by jerking my shirt towards him for another kiss.

     This one is a battle for dominance—hungry and passionate. I stick to my original desire and pester Levi until he finally submits to my deep kisses. I wrap my arms around his thin waist and pull his strong body closer to mine, every second crashing tongues with him.

     Thoughts of last night and the days past run through my mind, reminding me of the man I have here, right in my arms. I peek once at his expression during our makeout session and he has a look of extreme bliss written on his face. I’m really elated because of that.

     I break the lip-lock and he licks his lips. I run my hands up his back and massage his shoulder blades. He shivers and I realize just how much it is actually arousing him.

     Wow. This is a turn-on for Levi Heichou.

     I decide to look into his eyes for a sec. They are slightly glazed over from the intensity of our kissing, holding a surprisingly pleading look that says for him that which he cannot word. I can read his eyes very well.

     “Are you sure?” I ask, cocking my head to one side.

     He nods and I just smile.

     I pick my boyfriend up bridal style—something he definitely wasn’t expecting. He protests until I find his bedroom, where I gently drop him sitting upright on the golden quilt, the only thing in the house not white.

     I undo his pants button, slip his khakis off, and I can’t help but guffaw when I see his stark white briefs.

     “Don’t laugh…” Levi pouts and I just hug him tightly to my chest. His neck is right below my lips so I kiss it. Despite his breathy protests, I kiss and suck until there is a wet, ruddy hickey in that spot.

     “Eren, you idiot…everyone will see that…” he moans.

     I smirk but he can’t see, “Just wear a high-collared shirt,” I start creating another love bite higher on his neck.

     “Shit-!” his voice hitches, “Stop it, Jaegar.”

     Oh, he’s mad. But I don’t really care.

     “I’m just teasing you…” I whine into his ear before I lick the shell of it and then suck on his earlobe, “It’s called foreplay…”

     Levi sighs and his shoulders finally relax a bit. He leans forward on my shoulder, demanding “Fine. Just be careful where you put your marks.”

     I push him slowly down onto his memory foam bed and scoot until my head is at his waist, “I will put them in places that only I am allowed to see.”

     Levi quickly covers his blushing face with his palms, groaning at the cheesy statement.

     I chuckle at his reaction, excited that he actually likes this. Maybe…he’s been lusting for it? Lusting for me?

     What? No. Not Levi Heichou.

     Right?

     I lift up one of his legs and touch my lips to his plush inner thigh. I lick his pale skin and kiss it, sucking again. This kiss mark is large in area—I’m marking my one and only territory.

     “Eren…” I hear a husky moan escape his trembling lips and it makes my mind run wild.

     I smile to myself, lowering my head to the growing bulge at his groin. I close my lips around the largest part, licking and sucking through the underwear, making the material wet with saliva. I look up at this man through my brown lashes and take in the beautiful view.

     Levi is biting on the collar of his shirt, unable to utter a word—surprising because I haven’t done much. His face is lit up blood red and I can see his fingers gripping the gold blanket, quivering.

     I stick my fingertips into the elastic waistband of his briefs, and then begin nudging it down his hips. His erection is fully exposed just for me once I completely strip him of his undies.

     I stroke him once, causing him to jump and shout “Eren!”

     I grin, excited that I have caused him to become weird like this.

     I slide my palms up his belly, pushing his shirt upwards. He yanks it off and holds it to his face, trying to hide his blush.

     “Hey…” I take his shirt and toss it across the room, “Don’t cover your face like that…”

     Levi presses his lips together in a thin line, but he doesn’t respond otherwise.

     I back down to his cock, wrapping my lips around the head. I pinch and rub his nipples, sucking hard on his erect member. I bob my head up and down, licking the underside as I come up. I swallow the precum that comes with his increased arousal. He quickly starts bucking his hips into my mouth like crazy.

     I hold his waist down with my hands, lifting up off of his cock, “No-no, Levi. You can’t cum yet…”

     “Stop playing with me…Eren~…” Levi mutters under his labored breaths. He sits up halfway and grabs onto a chunk of my hair tightly, “…Hurry~”

     I grin seductively and he goes silent, “Okay, fine.”

     I push myself forward to kiss his awaiting lips, all the while stroking his hard cock. I spread his legs and rub his thighs; after sucking on my fingers for a bit, I slide my middle finger between his pale cheeks to barely touch his anus, teasing him. He has not cum yet, following my orders, and is instead kissing me so deeply and hungrily that my raging boner is aching.

     Levi jumps when I push a finger into him. I keep going, adding digits until I can easily fit three and he is ready enough for me.

     Thank goodness I don’t have to wait anymore—Levi is getting squeamish and I’m about ready to blow.

     I take a deep breath, “…You’re sure you want to, right?”

     “Fuck!” Levi shrieks, wrapping his arms around my shoulders, “Eren, hurry the hell up and enter me!”

     I bite my lips until there is blood, unbuckling my pants to release my erection and thrusting deep inside of my partner’s body. He tightens up immediately and that sends a wave of pleasure shooting up my spine. I remain completely connected with Levi like this for a bit longer and watch him cringe, cussing under his near-hyperventilation.

     I detect his tears forming from the sudden pain so I wipe his bottom eyelids and pull his face close, my forehead against his.

     I feel his warm, quick breath as he speaks, “Oh, God, Eren…Move…I’m not gonna have your dick in my ass if you’re not gonna make me fuckin’ cum.”

     A laugh escapes my lips and then I kiss him, deeply, hotly, messily. I start feeling tension down there—the need for some friction—so I start slowly bucking my hips into and out of my man. Levi moans in accordance with my thrusts, and his voice is so beautiful and different from usual.

     I love his voice.

     “Oh, God!” Levi screams when I’ve surely hit his prostate, “Fuck, Eren! You’re so big for a teenager…Ah! Oh yes, it just feels…so…good~”

     He grabs my shoulders and hugs me tightly. This is how I’ve wanted him: under me, in my arms, with me inside of him, oh so very vulnerable. This is what I’ve needed all of this time.

     I unconsciously speed up my thrusts, driven by the heated utterances of my very name, and I keep reaching that right spot for my partner, making him moan so fucking loudly. I just want to make him scream louder and louder.

     “Holy shit!” Levi yells profanities into my ear, “Oh my fucking God, Eren! Eren~”

     “Le…vi…” I can barely manage through the suffocating euphoria, “You’re so…lewd…I never knew…”

    He blushes darker and slaps my shoulder, but can’t say anything as he is possessed by a compulsive arching of his back when I ram into his prostate and he is nearing orgasm.

     “Ah! Oh, Eren!” he digs his nails into my back, “Fuck, I’m gonna cum!”

     “Not yet” I’m not as close as he is, so I grab the base of his cock to hold him back. I want us to cum at the same time. I sit us up so he can straddle my lap and I can undulate my hips better to bring us to orgasm in unison.

~

     I open my eyes slowly and shift my head to look at my watch; it’s 4:30. Mikasa will be home in half an hour.

     “Crap!” I start getting up but I am being weighed down. I am still lying down face up and there is a man on his stomach, face tucked into the hollow of my neck.

     Oh, right. Levi. Date. Boyfriend.

     Amazing sex.

     My cheeks turn red and my little friend almost decides to poke his head up at the thought of the horny memory. I avert my thoughts to planning my story for Creative Writing class: describe a day that changed your life.

     Well, now. I can’t really talk about today, can I?

     I feel my partner shifting as if he has woken up, starting to groan.

     I wrap my arms around his torso loosely, chuckling, “Rise and shine. I’ve got to get going; Mikasa will be home soon.”

     Levi tightens the embrace, “Ah, your sister. Yeah, we should get going…”

     He kisses my cheek and then pulls out of bed, realizing that he’s still quite naked and sticky.

     “Give me five minutes to shower,” he mutters, grimacing.

     “Hold on,” I get off of the mattress, “I’m filthy, too.”

     Levi nods towards his bathroom.

     During the quick shower, I sincerely do try to think of something other than the situation we are in, but I cannot help myself. While I scrub my body with Levi’s spare loofah, I can’t help but watch him as he rinses his own body off. The soft pink tinge to his skin that appears after contact with the hot water, the streams of water that run down his chest, the smirk that he gives me after catching my stare—all of these things and more keep distracting me from washing. They distract me so much that Levi ends up scrubbing and rinsing my body for me.

~

     “I’m sorry for being so incompetent…” I mumble a useless apology as he drives me home by 4:45.

     “It’s fine, Eren, really.”

     I nod. He parks across the street from the orphanage and looks over at me.

     “Thanks…That was…” he suddenly blushes rosy pink, so I know what he’s thinking about, “It was fun and that other thing…felt really good…”

     “You’re welcome, I guess. But thank you for everything too. The driving and house and et cetera…”

     Levi shifts in his seat so that he can give me a hug. I accept the embrace wholeheartedly; it is warm and inviting—loving, maybe? I pull back to kiss his lips with all my might. He kisses back, sucking on tongue until I separate us. Our lips make a wet, smacking noise that is quite loud, making us laugh.

     I open the door, saying, “Text or call me whenever you want to. I might later on.”

     He smiles, genuinely.

     I exit, and then walk across the quiet street. At the front door of WOT, I look back at his car. Levi waves to me and I do too. Then he starts his car and drives off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i promise lots of more smex in later chapters :)  
> prepare for a few feels or 2


	8. Good Riddance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is a water polo game, the outcome provokes Eren to invite Levi on a date, and someone shows up unexpectedly, as usual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gotta love Starbuck's coffee

     It’s Tuesday, finally. Game day.

     I have to sit through my first five periods first, and the anxiety is already starting to get to me in first period World History; I nearly fall out of my seat when Mr. Schultz calls on me to pass out the quiz papers.

     Two interesting things happen in that period.

     First, there is a knock at the locked classroom door. Mr. Schultz opens it and there is Levi in all his glory, dragging along some delinquent.

     “Günther, can this kid please take his test in the back? I don’t want him cheating in my class.”

     He shoves the boy inside, and Mr. Schultz directs him to a seat in a last row.

     “Sure. Oh, hold on,” my History teacher walks over to his desk, beckoning my boyfriend to follow. I try to concentrate on my quiz, but I am sitting in the front, so when Levi passes me, sliding a hand on my desk, my eyes follow him. Mr. Schultz gives him a wad of cash, saying, “Thanks for that booze. I really needed it yesterday.”

     “Anytime, Günther,” Levi strolls away, pocketing the bills. When he reaches my desk,—and I am still watching him—he flicks my forehead lightly.

     “Ow…” I blink and rub at the spot, eliciting some looks from the rest of the class.

     But he winks at me as if the small pain was a reminder of continuous flirting. Everyone else probably thinks that Mr. Heichou’s punishing me for not following directions, and they surely didn’t see that cutesy wink. No one. Just me.

     I never do finish that quiz. Actually, no one does.

     A loud explosion is heard and Mr. Schultz directs the lot of us to get out of the class. Fire alarms go off and everyone evacuates the buildings. I instead follow where curiosity takes me—the Physics classroom. If I’m right, that sound was probably Annie’s rocket failing. She might have launched it inside.

     Hell yeah, I’m right.

     The wall of the Physics lab facing the field is blown out. Through the gaping hole, I can see students from P.E. gathered in a little circle around the charred rocket, along with the AP Physics students.

     Everyone is out there, believing that there’s a fire somewhere, and I’m just laughing my ass off for two reasons. One, Annie is a bit off her rocker. Two, from all the way here, I can see two of the “Titans” making out behind a dumpster, despite all of the ruckus. Hell, Reiner and Bertholdt haven’t the faintest idea, I’m sure. They’re in their own little world.

~

     Just like I am during the game—something I really shouldn’t be right now.

     We’re tied up at 11-11 with 30 seconds left in the game. I’m playing goalie, so I have to squint to see Nac attempting to get us another point. Yet, the other team’s goalkeeper is lightning fast. I’m sure that I blank out for a moment because everyone is suddenly right in front of me. The ball whizzes past my left side and I have no time to react before they get another point and time is up.

     We’ve lost and it’s probably my idiot fault.

     Most likely. I’m a spaz that’s been studying so much more recently because Levi likes to motivate me so I’ve been getting a bit less sleep. That’s probably what has just thrown off my game.

     “Fuck!” I punch the water in front of me. I can hear the cheers of the other team and the sounds of skin against skin as my teammates pat each other’s backs, saying “We can’t win ‘em all.” Mainly Nac going around doing that to the other guys.

    

     When he reaches me, all I can utter is “Sorry, dude…” He smiles and nods in reassurance.

     He can deal with losing. I’m a sore loser.

     I hoist myself out of the water, watching my other teammates. Coach is talking to them but I’m too bummed out to care. I towel myself off and go into out locker room; this is a home game. I change rapidly, shoving my stuff into my backpack. We’ve been gone for sixth period, so right now is thirty-two minutes after the end of school. I feel both pissed and like I couldn’t care less about today. What I am sure of is that I want to see Levi, now.

     I pass by Coach and tell him that I have my own way home before I make a call to my boyfriend.

     “Hey,” he speaks, pausing for a yawn, “I heard you had a game today…”

     “Yeah. We lost.”

     “Oh, sorr—“

     “I wanna see you, but I’m not coming back to school,” I bark rudely because I don’t care right now.

     A silence ensues and I don’t know what it means until he says, “Yeah, I suppose we could meet up. Starbucks?”

     “Perfect. I’ll be there,” I hang up, on my way to the bus stop.

     God, I have such a bad temper.

~

     I stay sitting at a table nearest to the door, but I can still hear Levi speak.

     “I’ll take a Hazelnut Frappuccino and the youngster will have a Caramel Ribbon Crunch Frappuccino. Both tall, please.”

     “Don’t call me a youngster, old man!”

     Levi doesn’t flinch or turn around so I can see his face, which I am sure is blushing, but I can see the cashier girl chuckle at my comment. There’s hardly anyone here today, so he comes back with our coffee instantly.

     “Nice ass,” I mutter, but Levi quickly muffles my words with his palm. He sits in front of me and removes his hand.

     “I know you guys lost and all, but come on. It’s just one game. You’ll win tons more, so calm the fuck down,” he glares at me with cold eyes.

     I shrug and sip my drink, taking my boyfriend’s advice, “Mmmm~ This one’s really good…Thanks for the treat, Levi.”

     “No problem.”

     As soon as I put my cup down, he picks it up and takes a sip, “You’re right, this is delicious…”

     “Hey!” I blush and take the drink back, laughing when I accidentally poke my nose with the straw. Levi is chuckling too.

     “Well, well. What do we have here?”

     The voice stops me abruptly. No, it can’t be. Shit, we’re over. Fucking over.

     Ms. Hanji. The biggest tattletale teacher I’ve ever had. She could tell Principal Erwin about the vandalism that Springles will commit even before the two buy the spray cans.

     I’m speechless.

     But Levi doesn’t seem surprised at all.

     He sighs, “What do you want, Zoë?”

     “I dunno…maybe a bit of compensation to keep you two a secret?” Ms. Hanji rubs the tips of her fingers as if she wants money.

     Levi seems to ignore her, turning his head towards the window. I shake his hand, informing him that she wants payment and we should give it to her.

     He scoffs, “I’ll buy the little twerp a gumball.”

     Ms. Hanji laughs maniacally and goes to order an Espresso Macchiato.

     I blink. At everything.

     What the hell just happened?

     “Um…”

     Levi looks up at me, already holding onto one of my hands. He rubs it and then picks his drink up peculiarly—his fingertips gripping the rim with the straw through his fingers, as if he is picking up a large ball. Taking a sip, Levi raises his eyebrows for a second, urging me on.

     “Oh…uh…what?” I give him an exasperated look, “Why isn’t she gonna tattle?”

     My boyfriend puts his drink down, “Hey. She’s known me since forever. She wouldn’t dare disobey my wishes. Plus, I already told her about us; she’s just pushing your buttons.”

     I shake my head. I don’t have a chance to speak before Ms. Hanji is back with her coffee, “What’d I miss?”

     She drags a chair so that she can take up some of our couple space by sitting facing the window.

     Levi ignores her question and just keeps drinking. I do too.

     Ms. Hanji sighs loudly, “Gosh, guys. What’s with the animosity?! I’m just trying to make conversation!”

     She slumps in her chair and takes a sip of her macchiato. Her eyes suddenly light up and she leans towards me, her hand now cupped around my ear.

     “Have you fucked him yet?”

     “Wha—?!” I jump in my chair. My face flushes with heat. When I look at Levi, his has too. Ms. Hanji is just laughing her ass off at our reactions.

     “Wow, Levi! That was fast. I never thought that you let them in so quickly—“

     Levi clamps a hand over her big mouth.

     “Leave us alone, Zoë,” he hisses.

     Ms Hanji scoots out of her chair and puts it back where is originally was, “Fine. I won’t tell Erwin either, don’t worry. Your secret’s safe with me.”

     I sigh with relief, finally.

     “Ah, Eren,” she lays a hand on my shoulder and I look up, “Thanks for being such a great test subject last week. Those experiments got me an amazing reputation.”

     “No problem.”

     “Haha, and…” she leans down to whisper again, “you’ve got a real keeper here. Treat him well, don’t let him go, and—oh yeah—he needs a ton of hot sex to function. He’s told me that he likes it in variety, so…experiment. Like I do in Chem.”

     I blush again, but nod in thanks of her advice.

     Ms. Hanji stands up and goes to open the glass door. Looking back, she winks, saying “Way to go, Levi. Call me later,” and then she leaves.

     “Good riddance,” Levi mutters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh so im warning you soon there will be a bit of implied mikannie bc tumblr is making me ship them  
> next chapter there be smex


	9. Sighing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is hot smex, a Mikasa issue, dumb Springles, and a heated texting session between the lovebirds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for being so late; i've been working on my summer hw  
> btw i updated ch 1-5 with sketch dumps links at the end of the fic

     “Levi, can we fuck today?”

     If my hubby wasn’t so great at controlling his emotions, I’m sure he would’ve choked on his frappuccino right there and then.

     He instead swallows the sip he has just taken, clears his throat, and tells me “Naughty boy. It’s a school night.”

     “But I wanna~ I’m never gonna go back to Mikasa if we don’t…”

     Levi facepalms, sighing in acquiescence, “Fine. For you, you sore loser.”

     I giggle like a girl in love, figuring that he just doesn’t want to hear my complaints produced because of the worst of Mikasa’s rage.

~

     It’s like my dream from last Wednesday night. Except it’s real.

     We are in Levi’s lovely-smelling apartment again. He has me sitting down on the edge of his bed—him between my knees and my cock in his mouth. His moist warmth gets me hard instantaneously, and his incessant slurping only increases my massive libido. I want to penetrate him already, but his mouth is already making me die in heat.

     Levi engulfs my entire length, massaging my balls. He pulls back, sucking just enough to elicit a guttural moan from my throat. I can’t do anything; I am rendered speechless by his mature, skilled manner as he deepthroats my member. I tremble with euphoria, pulling at Levi’s shining, onyx hair.

     Even though I love to have him squealing under me, I also like this, becoming totally helpless because of the skill of his tongue. It just feels so good.

     “Levi~” my eyes are growing moister. I can feel him suck harder on the head of my penis, making me shudder.

     Levi slides his hands up to massage my toned, swimming abs. That tickling sensation sends shivers up my spine.

     “Hmm…” I groan, my orgasm rapidly nearing.

     He can sense that, so he pulls up, trailing a string of saliva. He kisses me, using his hand instead to pump me to a climax. We are still clothed except for my pants, so when I cum, the white liquid sticks to his shirt. He peels the polyester off and tosses it aside in disgust. He wipes the semen from his hand onto my shirt, takes it off of me, and throws it aside too. He gets completely naked while I stay with my boxers half on.

     Levi soundlessly pushes me back onto the bed so my calves are still hanging. He fishes around in his bedside table drawer, pulling out a bottle and a large box.

     “Look what I bought~” he crawls on top of me, placing the items on my bare chest.

     I glance at the bottle—lube, obviously—and the box of green tea-flavored condoms.

     Then I realize something from before.

     “Ah, Levi! We didn’t use these last time! I don’t think I have an STD, but—”

     “Shh…” Levi interrupts, “I highly doubt that you have any. And if you or I do, then we’ll deal with that later, okay?”

     I sigh and nod, ripping open the box as he pours some liquid into his hand. I tear the packaging off of a single condom with my teeth and stretch it around my half-hard dick. Levi reaches back and lubricates both my member and his entrance well.

     While he does that, I let my lips wander. I kiss his neck lightly, placing my hand behind his head to put it closer to me. I blow into his ear, earning a shudder and a squeak from him. Kissing him passionately, I slide my hands down his chest to tweak his nipples. Every single one of my actions elicits hitches in Levi’s beautiful voice.

     “Ah! Ere-mmm~” his lips crash back into mine when I pull on his hair, “Shit—ah!!”

     He stops lubricating and rubs the excess on my chest. Then he slowly lowers himself onto my erection until I rapidly thrust my entirety into him.

     “Fuck!” Levi rocks on top of me because I have accidentally thrust into his prostate. Nah, purposely thrust.

     After a few moments, I start undulating into my boyfriend, but he stops me, “Let me do it today.”

     Levi leans back with his palms on my thighs, lifted up on the balls of his feet. He raises his hips higher up on my length, so that I am barely inside of him, and then he thrusts downward suddenly. He repeats this, slowly bouncing on top of my waist.

     I can feel him all so well. Every movement sends waves of ecstasy to my brain as my cock is engulfed by his tight inner walls over and over again. The pressure produced by his motions is unbelievable. I urge him to go faster and he complies.

     I am so high on this sex—paralyzed by the euphoria that muddles any sort of rational thought that I might process. I am not even at my climax yet and this is already too good to be true.

     “Ah, Levi! Your insides…feel so good! I—” I gasp and realize how close I really am, “I’m gonna cum inside you, Levi!”

     “Oh, God, Eren. Just do it!” Levi is also very close. This entire time, he’s been banging me into his prostate. His eyes are so glazed over in euphoria that it makes me question whether he is still conscious.

     He quickens his pace immediately after screaming that, surely enough to send me over the cliff and into the impossible waves of my orgasm. I moan loudly as my body blazes with an amazing feeling. It gets better when I feel Levi pulse around me in his own climax. I look up, and his mouth is open in a round O, silently shrieking.

     He cums on my chest and we both start falling down from our pleasure highs. I hold Levi by his waist and pull him down on me softly, slipping out of him. I turn to my side and embrace him tightly, still breathing hard into his shoulder. He doesn’t move for the next five minutes; he just holds me and breathes heavily. We are stuck together with sweat and semen but I don’t care. For once, Levi doesn’t either, mainly because he is passed out. We stay in each other’s arms, like we should always be.

     In this intimate moment, I really don’t want to let him go.

~

     Once we’re all clean and dressed, Levi takes me home immediately. It’s already eight when we get to WOT and I’ve realized something bad.

     I forgot to call Mikasa again.

     I kiss Levi’s cheek quickly and then bound out of his Mercedes.

     “Love ya, brat,” he calls after me.

     I blush, “Love you, too.”

     Do I really mean that? Or are they just empty words, petty and meaningless? Will we ever say them with emotional meaning?

     These questions run through my mind as I make note of Mikasa’s car, the only one we own. It is parked carelessly crooked in the driveway.

     She was in some sort of rush. Probably looking for me.

     I ring the doorbell and mentally prepare myself for the punishment of a lifetime. I hear the squeak of someone sliding the peephole cover over to see who is at the door, then the impeccable sound of Mikasa screaming “Eren!”

     The locks are opened and the door is slammed nearly off its hinges. There, Mikasa is standing in all of her superior-sibling glory, angry as hell. I swear, I can see steam coming out of her ears and her nostrils flaring.

      She rushed to hug me to her massive chest, “Eren! Where in hell have you been? Do you know how worried I was?”

     Mikasa is giving me the third degree. I am about to answer with a couple of white lies, but Levi is still here, parked across the street. I look up at Mikasa and her eyes are narrow black slits, trained on my boyfriend.

     “What,” she seethes, “is he doing here?”

     I look back and Levi is just chilling, smoking a cigarette out the window and checking his phone for something. He doesn’t realize that I am still outside, and he is the subject of our dispute.

     “Uh…He gave me a ride. He was tutoring me—”

     “Today was game day. And you hate school. You would never agree to go back to school once you’ve left.”

     “It was a home game,” I state.

     “Still…” Mikasa is glaring me in the eyes, trying to make me flinch and tell the truth. I can’t let that happen; if she finds out about our relationship, we’re done for. Poof. No more happy couple.

     I stare her down, trying to prove that I’m telling the truth, even though I’m not. I can tell that she really doesn’t believe me because she suggests “Why don’t we just ask Mr. Heichou, then?”

     My eyes widen slightly, but I cannot show any fear to her, “Go ahead. I’m sure he’d be thrilled.”

     She narrows her eyes and then turns around, walking across the quiet street alone.

     I bite my hand in anxiety, eyes locked on the two in conversation. I can’t hear, but Mikasa is speaking in a demanding tone and Levi is calm. She slams her hands on his open window and he taps them soothingly. Even from this far away, I can read his eyes. He is extremely annoyed by my sister’s paranoia—and I wouldn’t blame him. He wants to retort at her rudely but he knows that he can’t. He retains his usual, professional tone to coerce Mikasa into believing my lie.

     She cannot know what we’ve been really doing.

     Eventually, Levi rolls up his window, driving away, and Mikasa comes back over here, somewhat satisfied. Still, as soon as we are out of Levi’s sight, she flips the birdie in the direction he drove off to.

     “How mature, Mikasa,” I scoff.

     “Go to your room and do your homework until Armin brings you some dinner. You’re grounded until further notice. Home. By. Five. Every. Day.”

     I grit my teeth but she cannot tell, “…yes, Mother.”

     “Don’t fucking call me that!” she growls.

~

     I finish everything—homework, dinner, bath—by eleven. I’m exhausted, so I am instantly ready for bed. I leave the light on so I can see what I am texting to Levi.

     I think for a sec, tapping my thigh. Then, I type my question slowly.

     I blush deep scarlet, but chuckle and text away.

     I pout, but suddenly grin, deciding to disobey his orders for once.

     I stand up off of my bed. My pajamas are only a T-shirt over my boxers, which is good enough. I plant my feet in front of my full-body-mirror.

     Yeah, I’ve got one of those. Don’t judge.

     I manage the sexiest pose I can, lifting my shirt above my stomach, head back a bit, and stare into my phone camera in the mirror as I snap a picture. The photo has everything, surprisingly considering it’s of me, to make my Levi surely go rock hard in the pants: the hooded eyes, glistening, parted lips, shining skin with a slightly rosy tint, the suggestive pose, the bulging groin.

     I send it to my boyfriend immediately, totally against what he just said.

[](http://fc00.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2014/234/4/3/levi_text_14_by_nathaliafl123-d7waetf.png)   


     Those words again. They remain meaningless—just a filler for “bye” or “you’re dumb.” They’re stupid, unnecessary at this point.

     I think?

     But I want to say them for real sometime soon.

     Yeah, sure I am. I pass out immediately. It is three o’clock in the morning when I wake up.

     I check my phone. He did send me a picture. At two in the morning! It took him that long to make a decision?

     While I wait, I groggily examine the photo. Levi is lying down shirtless in briefs, washboard abs exposed under his hand resting on them. He has bedroom eyes, his head is angled a little bit upwards, and he is licking his very open lips. I start getting hard, but I’m too tired to masturbate so I close it up and instead watch Springles’ latest Vine.

     The camera is trained on Connie.

     “Hey, Sasha. Where the last bag of potato chips at?”

     It flashes to Sasha, eating some chips.

     “They’re mine, nigga!” she retorts.

     I laugh quietly, not wanting to wake Mikasa up. Those two are such cards.

     My iPhone buzzes and I get Levi’s message.

[](http://fc01.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2014/234/6/4/levi_text_17_by_nathaliafl123-d7waf5l.png)   


     I sigh, somewhat morosely.

    Someday, I’ll get him to open up to me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> might be awhile b4 chapter ten, maybe not. (maybe i'll finish tomorrow idk) we'll see bc i start class in a bit more than a week


	10. Starting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a new 'arc' begins at Eren and Levi's 1-month anniversary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry levi is so ooc bc i NEED a really cute heichou  
> and i had fun arting Eren's profile pic, sorry it looks so diff't from everyone else's

     It’s Saturday, October 18th. The day that we are celebrating our one-month anniversary.

     I can’t believe that it’s been a month already.

     Levi and I have been going on strong since that day. We’ve gone on many dates—many outside the area to avoid getting caught—including one to Disneyland! I remember being mildly amused that day because Levi couldn’t stop criticizing the untruthfulness of Disney’s “happy-ever-after” story.

     He hasn’t told me about his past, only his present life of me, work, and hobbies. And we have yet to truly mean “I love you” but it’s okay. We still need time.

     There’s been tons of thrilling sex, all without being discovered by Mikasa. She still suspects something, but never says anything because she cannot confirm her suspicions. Marco hasn’t told what he saw that day, Armin has vowed to keep our secret—and I love him for that—and Jean has yet to prove that nasty rumor he spread last month. I still haven’t purposely told anyone risky anything about me and my boyfriend.

     But I do have to confess to one thing.

     I have gotten Levi Heichou dangerously addicted to powerful modern female singers and I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

     Before, the only sort of music Levi would listen to was classical, mainly Beethoven. Don’t get me wrong—I love his music—but it felt like my boyfriend needed a bit of variety. A few weeks ago, during an after-school-tutoring break, I blasted Demi Lovato’s “Heart Attack” from his laptop.

     I swear, Levi was literally glued to his seat, listening to her unbelievably incredible voice. He made me play a few more of her songs—newer ones because I think those are more powerful.

     Demi wasn’t the only one he fell in love with. There’s Adele, Avril Lavigne, Christina Perri—pretty much all of my favorite artists—even freaking Miley Cyrus! Her songs are definitely top of his list. I’m really glad, though, that I didn’t show him her newer music _videos_ or what’s on the celeb news; in fact, I advised against doing that. Didn’t want to ruin her being an amazing singer for him.

     Levi still listens to Bach and Chopin, but Ariana Grande and Lorde overpower his playlists.

~

     Oh, the wonders Annie can do for me.

     Yesterday, I convinced her to have a sleepover with Mikasa and whomever else for the weekend in exchange for doing her History homework for a week. I offered her that because I know how much she likes being alone, but I really need Mikasa out of the house and Annie’s the only one brutal enough and close enough to her to get her to go.

     So it’s now Saturday morning, Mikasa’s at Annie’s, and Armin is willing to cover for me should Mikasa call WOT and not my cell. That is, as long as I kept his big secret—I caught him posing like a European model in front of my floor-length mirror, wearing Mikasa’s combat boots.

     Levi and I have planned to just spend time in his house, eat some Levi-cooked meals, sit under the stars in the October night or something. He said to expect Ms. Hanji because she knows the date and likes to pop in uninvited. I need Mikasa out and distracted because I plan on staying with Levi all the way up to the time for school on Monday, and I don’t need my sister curious about where I am.

     I get ready to see my boyfriend, putting on extra flair and smiles. I dress up in the only pair of slacks I have, a white button-up shirt, and a polka dot bowtie. I slick my hair back with a thin layer of gel, brush my teeth, and actually put my necklace on. I stuff the key into my shirt, but realize it’s okay if Levi sees it this time.

     I feel like storytelling today.

     I take a selfie and change it to my Facebook profile picture, calling it “Profile pic day :D” to avoid more suspicion. My friends don’t usually pay attention to my statuses anyways.

     My phone buzzes and it’s a text from Levi telling me that he’s here.

     Anniversary present in hand, I race down the stairs, grinning from ear to ear. I open the door and run to my boyfriend’s car across the street. Ms. Fauster, one of the caretakers, sees me off, smiling warmly. I haven’t said much about her, but she’s been like a mom to me ever since the crash. She’s the second person, next to Armin, whom I have personally told about Levi, sorta. No details—like how old he is—but just enough to understand that I’m safe with him and know that we should be kept secret from Mikasa.

     Levi doesn’t question Ms. Fauster’s being there as he starts up his car and drives us off.

     “Well, you look nice today,” he smiles.

     I blush, “Thanks,” then I look him over, muttering “You don’t look half-bad yourself.”

     He’s wearing black dress pants, a cream-colored button-up, and a red tie. His hair is like usual—an almost-middle-part in bangs that reach his eyebrows and a buzz undercut in the back. Just how I like it.

     Levi scoffs, “You’re drooling, numbskull.”

     I quickly wipe the dripping saliva onto the back of my hand, “Sorry…”

     I turn my head and look out the window, twiddling my thumbs and tapping my feet. Out of sheer boredom because Levi needs to focus on driving, I pull out my phone and check Facebook.

     Wow, 21 likes and 13 comments on that picture and I only posted it ten minutes ago.

     Well, fuck. I made the mistake of expecting my friends to _not_ jump to conclusions of dating.

     What do I do now? Deny it? Confirm it with no mention of whom?

     I sigh out loud, “I’m an idiot.”

     “What now?” Levi questions as he pulls up into the lot and parks.

     I show him the picture and comments. His eyebrows raise, “Yeah. You’ve got yourself in some trouble there.”

     I scoff, “I know that. I don’t know how to answer Connie though.”

     “Ah…” he unlocks his door and gets out. I open mine before he can do it for me, and then grab his gift, stepping out.

     Levi grasps my hand, locking up his Mercedes, still mulling over the possibilities, “Well…I don’t think your friends are ready for the truth…”

     “I won’t tell them about you. No, I can’t. Someone—ahem! Jean—will let it leak to some teacher other than Ms. Hanji, and then eventually we will have to be separated! I don’t want that…”

     Levi shakes his head, “I wasn’t going to make you. I kind of want to keep my job.”

     I chuckle.

     He continues, “I think you should just deny it and make something up.”

     “Figures,” I sigh.

     I smile, so happy that some of them are actually on my side for once.

     Levi notices my expression once we are at his front door. Unlocking it, he comments “I see you’ve sorted that out right.”

     I look up and nod, heading into his apartment.

~

     It’s seven o’clock and we have just eaten a hearty dinner of meatloaf, mixed vegetables, rice, and an original, Levi-recipe, banana split smoothie so good that I can still taste the single maraschino cherry he put on top of the Cool Whip.

     After washing dishes together, we are now cuddling on his white couch in front of his defective TV. We are on our backs—he piled on top of me—and under a plush blanket.

     “Wanna open presents now or later?” I ask.

     “Now,” Levi demands, sliding his hand up my forearm.

     I chuckle, lifting his pink gift bag from the coffee table with the hand that isn’t resting under his. I set the bag on his chest and he starts to dig into it.

     What he finds is what I bought him with all of the allowance Mikasa gave me for the past three weeks: Ariana Grande’s _My Everything_ album and Christina Perri’s _Head or Heart_ album.

     Levi actually shrieks with excitement, something very out of his character. He turns onto his stomach and gloms on me very tightly, speechless. I smile sweetly, but he cannot see because his face is pushed against my chest.

     “You’re very welcome, sweetheart.”

     Levi looks up suddenly. Plastered to his face is the largest grin I’ve ever seen on him. He jumps forward a bit to kiss me on my lips. I can already taste desire on his tongue.

     We probably would’ve fucked right there and then if only Ms. Hanji didn’t show up.

     “Mama’s home! Don’t tell me you started the party without me?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i did it!! 2 in one weekend again!  
> might be a hiatus, might not. can't say bc idk how busy senior year starts out


	11. Me and My Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Ms. Hanji brings presents, and Eren and Levi have a heart-to-heart chat, kinda.

     Ms. Hanji has arrived with a giant package in tow. She drags it towards the two of us who have stopped making out and are now sitting up. The box reads “Fragile”—not on a sticker, but scrawled in marker, surely by Ms. Hanji.

     “Open it! Open it! It’s my anniversary gift to the both of you!” she enthusiastically hands me a pair of scissors from her massive purse.

     I take it and quickly shove it into Levi’s hands, “Sorry. Childhood incident. Scissors-phobia.”

     Levi wrinkles his nose at my incompetence, slicing open the tape and ripping the box open.

     Inside, among billions of packing peanuts and rainbow-colored tissue paper, are three items: a giant empty water tank, a Tupperware container full of something which I cannot see, and a basket of drinks. She lifts out the glass tank as if it weighs nothing and puts it on the coffee table.

     The tank looks like a sciency fish bowl; in it exists some beakers, test tubes, fake kelp, artificially colored rocks, and a desk with an apple and nameplate to match. The placard reads “Roger.”

     I look at Levi, who is pursing his lips.

      “Zoë, you know I don’t have room for that.”

     “Aw, come on!” Ms. Hanji whines, “I put my heart and soul mate into arranging this!”

     She rummages around in the packing peanuts until she finds the little plastic Tupperware container. Inside, I can see a deep blue betta fish.

     “Hi, Roger,” I say.

     Levi looks at me like I’m crazy and Ms. Hanji guffaws. My boyfriend gets up and walks to his television, picks it up gingerly, and sets it on the carpet.

     “It seems that Eren likes it, so okay, fine Zoë. Put the tank here and start helping me fill it up,” Levi orders.

     I wink at him because I know that he loves animals and just wants to give Ms. Hanji a hard time. Deciding to help and knowing that betta fish need pure water, I trot over to Levi’s stash of water bottles, grab a bag of ten, and then return to my hubby. One by one, I uncap the bottles and dump them into the tank. Ms. Hanji helps and Levi watches, observing the little fish too.

     After a few more bottles, the tank is full. Ms. Hanji gently pours Roger into it and we watch him swim in and out of beakers while Levi tosses out his recycling.

     Scout comes prowling around, jumping onto my head and then into Ms. Hanji’s brunette hair.

     “Oh my gosh, Roger! Scout’s gonne get to him!” I shout, taking the kitty into my hands.

     “Naw,” Ms. Hanji states calmly, stroking Scout’s head, “Scouty’s good with fish, which is why I bought Roger instead of a puppy.”

     “A puppy?” I don’t even really want to ask, so she doesn’t supply an answer, “How did you name him?”

     She twirls her index finger around in Roger’s water, basking in her usual glasses-clad, rich girl glory, “Well…I used to be quite the Spongebob fan.”

     “Oh, hey! I love that show!” I start singing the theme song and she totally joins in, overpowering my voice with her pterodactyl screeching.

     Levi just happens to be back halfway into it, but there’s no stopping us now. We keep singing, even repeating the hearty pirate laugh at the end, until Levi finally says something.

     “I see you two are getting alone.”

     Ms. Hanji titters at his comment, “Yup. Like best friends!”

     I smile. Levi rolls his eyes.

     “Is there something else you need?” he abruptly demands of her.

     My Chemistry teacher gets up, holding her hands up defensively, “Don’t worry. I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone. Oh, but you should refrigerate those drinks.”

     “Got it. Thanks,” Levi reaches into the box to pull the basket out. He walks over to his kitchen, saying, “Eren, please see her out.”

     “Okay,” I salute, turning to Ms. Hanji, who has an immense grin stapled to her face.

     She puts a finger to her lips and leads me out of Levi’s apartment. After shutting the door, she starts digging around in her purse for something. She pulls that something out and it’s all I can do to hold my laughter.

     A black cat ears headband and matching tail.

     Sex toys, I’m sure.

     “Wh-wha?” I manage.

     “This here is for you to use on him. It should, you know, spice up your routine a bit. See this here…”

     I tune her out, trying to imagine Levi wearing them.

     I can’t. But I sure as hell would love to see for real.

     All of a sudden, I feel a vibration on my fingertips. Ms. Hanji is holding one end of the black tail to my hand and it’s a fucking vibrator.

     “That’s it,” I grab the tail and ears, stuffing them into an opaque plastic bag that she holds out for me.

     She smiles, taking her leave.

     “I hope this makes him scream,” I call quietly after her.

     I can hear Ms. Hanji cackling in spite of Levi’s well-being.

~

     “Welcome back. Did you have fun making out?” Levi has just returned from the kitchen as I lock the front door.

     I drop the bag onto the floor, and then take him into my arms.

     “We were not kissing,” I insist, nibbling lightly on the shell of his ear.

     He pats my back, “All right. I believe you—only today, though.”

     Levi pulls out of the hug to drop a small box into my hand, “Happy anniversary.”

     I blink quickly, not expecting a gift from him at all. After untying the little bow, I open the box. Inside is a heart-shaped golden locket.

     He takes it out for me and unclasps the chain, “Here, I’ll put it on for you.”

     I nod in permission, leaning over to make it easier for him. He clasps the locket and then slides his hands to the small of my back in order to embrace me again. I lift up the locket, finally opening it.

     Just like there should be, two pictures are resting inside—photos I’ve never seen before. One is of Levi, smiling up at me in the most illegal way ever, probably a selfie. The other is of me, laughing whole-heartedly. I can’t remember when he took that one, but I feel like it’s the most genuine picture I’ve ever seen of myself.

     I close it and let it hang back on the chain. Levi has been leaning his cheek where my heart is, eyes closed.

     “You tired?” I rub his shoulder blades, “It’s only eight…”

     “No. Just…I dunno. Your heartbeat sounds reassuring. That you’re actually here…Eren?”

     “Hm?” my eyebrows crease in concern for a millisecond.

     “Don’t…” he presses his face into my fancy shirt, “don’t leave me…ever, okay?”

     I raise an eyebrow, “Something wrong?”

     He stays silent. Of course. As usual. No reason to open up to me, is there?

     “You can tell me…” I whisper.

     He shakes his head, pulling away to go sit on the couch. I follow, immediately plopping down next to him. I kind of feel a bit angry inside. It’s like…

     “You don’t trust me? Still?”

     Levi looks over at me and sighs, “That’s not it. Not really, anyways…”

     “What does that even mean, Levi?” I sigh exasperated, leaning back and covering my eyes with my palms. A weight is now on my lap; Levi is lying down with his head resting on my thighs.

     “Do you like your gift?” he plays with my bangs.

     I purse my lips, “Don’t change the subject.”

     His eyebrows suddenly knit themselves, darkening his eyes, “You wouldn’t be able to handle the truth of what I’ve been put through…”

     “So you think I’m weak?” I clench a fist, “Let me tell you, I’m not weak. I can handle anything. Everything.”

     “Sorry…I can’t tell you…Not yet. I don’t know that much about you either, anyways,” he mutters, looking away.

     I stay silent, letting my eyes roam around the room. He wants to know something. Something about me that he doesn’t already know. What could I tell him?

     My necklace.

     “Levi…If you want to know more about me, there is this,” I pull out my key and put it into his thin fingers.

     He stares at that key for a very long time. And I mean a very long time. He takes a breath in, and out, looking very troubled.

     “This…” he utters, “is not a normal house key, Eren; the shape is too different. I’ve seen something like it in my dreams—only my dreams. And if it’s not some plaything, what is it? Either way, you shouldn’t have it—where did you get it?”

     He turns the key around in his fingers, “Are you ready to hear a story?”

     Levi settles under one of my arms, cuddling up, “Yeah. Tell me. I want to know everything about you.”

     I smile. It feels nice knowing I’m going to get this off of my chest. Maybe, just maybe, doing so will break him.

     Maybe, I’ll get to know Levi Heichou a bit better tonight.

     “My mom and dad died in a plane crash. This was just a year after my parents adopted my sister. They were supposed to be going to Germany to attend my father’s mother’s funeral. Mikasa and I would’ve gone too, but my mother’s parents insisted we stayed home. Said it was some sort of bad luck. Sure was…

     “Mind you, this was way on the East Coast, before we were sent to the orphanage here, near mom’s parents.”

     Levi nods and I continue.

     “Anyway, we stayed. The day before they were supposed to leave was my 10th birthday. As a gift, Dad gave me this key and told me something. I can’t remember the exact wording. Something like ‘This holds your future.’ or something about ancient secrets. ‘Past’ or ‘Future’ was one of the key words. Or both. I wish I could remember…”

     I pause as Levi examines the key even more.

     “Eren…I think this key is ancient. Like, really old.”

     “Well, my dad was working in archaeology too, so he could’ve picked it up somehow. He told me something even weirder after that. He said ‘Use this to open the basement when you are ready and you will learn the secret of the titans.’

      “Those words are strange for many reasons, but two really stand out. One, we didn’t even have a basement! Two, titans?! It still doesn’t make sense; I don’t understand what he means by ‘when I’m ready’” I start blubbering, “I mean, I have had a few dreams where I was, like, super tall—a ‘titan’ I guess—and sometimes you’re in it, but not always—”

     “Eren.”

     Once I stop blathering, I realize my fast breathing and the tears lingering on my bottom eyelids. My heart hammers like a drum in my chest, and I’m sure Levi can hear it.

     “You don’t have to finish. It’s okay,” he rubs my arm around his shoulders, soothing me with his porcelain skin.

     I try speaking again but my voice hitches in my throat, “This…is all I have left—”

     Levi turns to hug me and pushes my head softly into his shoulder.

     “Eren…”

     Then I cry. My tears come flowing out. Salty tears of confusion, rage, grief. I haven’t cried so deeply as this is years. Everything just pours out as I hold the only person who really matters right now. Mikasa and the others are so far away.

     Right now, it’s just me, my past, and my beautiful boyfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aha! another today!!!!  
> btw next chapter is gonna b diff't  
> you guys should please read my mikannie fic "That Titan in Her" Chapter 1 before "My Clarity" Chapter Twelve. I will link it as soon as I finish


	12. Drunk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the lovebirds awake to an idiot problem and that night someone gets pretty drunk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally back to the babes! senior year is pretty easy, but i havent been able to get to my laptop all that much, which is y im so slow. sorry guys.   
> i hope you have read "That Titan in Her" chapter one: unknowledgeable   
> before you read this chapter of my clarity  
> please do so if you havent yet: http://archiveofourown.org/works/2331440/chapters/5137646

 

     I wake near that warmth of his, still on the couch but lying down. Levi is still asleep on top of me on his stomach, snoring lightly. For some reason, his weight isn’t bothersome and I am still comfortable. This is the best couch in the world.

     I shift only the tiniest bit to grab my phone off of the coffee table. I check the time: 8:15 am. I check Facebook. Nothing but a reminder message from Nac about tomorrow’s game. Annie sent me a picture on Snapchat of Mikasa sleeping with the caption “Bae dead drunk. Jk…or am I? :D”

 She’s such a dork.

     I feel a redistributing of weight as Levi wakes up and lifts his head. I put my phone down and smile at him.

     “Good morning darling,” I brush some of his hair behind his ears.

     He rubs some sleep out of his eyes and wipes his mouth free of drool. Then he pushes forward to kiss me. We taste like morning breath but I don’t care. Levi is still drowsy; once our lips separate, his head is suddenly too heavy to support so his lips drag a trail of saliva across my cheek as he falls back to sleep with his face in the couch cushions.

     He snores loudly into my ear, unconscious, and I chuckle. I turn my head and kiss his cheek, making him groan and mumble “Eren” in his sleep.

     Huh. He dreams about me, too. Eren is satisfied.

     Levi’s phone vibrates in his back pocket. He doesn’t wake up, so I pinch his ass.

     His head shoots up, “I’m awake, brat!”

     He conks me on the head, gets off, and then answers the phone.

     “Hello…The kid just gave me a rude awakening, sorry…Yeah…Thanks, Zoë. For once, you’re not totally useless…Oh, take back what I just said—what?! You gave us a fish, but no fish food?!”

     “We can just go get some,” I butt in.

     Levi shushes me and I hold up my hands defensively.

     “Bye, shitty glasses,” he hangs up on her. 

     I raise a questioning eyebrow and he just dismisses it, going to make a continental breakfast for the two of us.

~

     “Hey, should we buy a little friend for Scout?” I poke my finger into a cage surrounding a few kittens.

     Levi scowls at me, “Just ‘cuz I love animals doesn’t mean I need to turn my apartment into a zoo.”

     I chuckle and get up, following him to where the fish food is. Once he picks the correct container, I drag him over to the reptile area.

     I point to a grey snake staring at me with cold eyes from the opposite end of the room, “Ooh, that one reminds me of a certain grumpy someone today~”

     Levi punches my shoulder, playfully, “If you were just sleeping on top of your bony boyfriend, woken up by a pinch to the butt, answered a stupid phone call from that idiot rich girl, _and_ ate breakfast without any napkins, then I’m sure you wouldn’t be in the best mood either…”

     “Well, I’ve got two of those things covered,” I smirk, following him to the cashier.

~

     Scout watches on as I tap small pellets into the giant fish bowl. He presses his pink nose up to the glass, but doesn’t stick his paws in, try to eat Roger, or tip over the tank.

     I’m very impressed.

     I sit back down next to Levi on the couch and pull out my iPhone, snapping a photo of Scout and Roger. It’s so cute.

     A memory of yesterday hits me and I go grab the cat ears from Ms. Hanji’s plastic bag of wonder, which I left near the front door.

     “There!” I slip the ears on Levi, who is checking emails on his Galaxy S3.

     He reaches up and confirms what I have just put on him, “Eren? Did you buy these from Pet Mart when I wasn’t looking?”

     He peels them off and tosses them aside, staring at me.

     I smile, putting a long finger to my lips, “It’s a secret.”

     Levi rolls his eyes, getting up to start making lunch because Roger’s not the only one hungry, “Do your homework while I cook.”

     “Aww…” I complain, but I rush to my backpack when Levi gives me the Heichou glare.

     I write my timed essay for forty minutes. When I finish, I go into the kitchen where Levi is nearly done. He is wearing a white apron with black lace decorations that exposes his fine ass perfectly.

     I yank my phone out and start playing “Booty Man” by Tim Wilson.

     “ _Look at that booty, show me the booty_

_Give me the booty, I want the booty…”_

     Levi turns around as soon as the chorus starts, blushing profusely, “Gosh, you want it that badly?!”

     I’m cracking up; he’s adorable. I stand behind him and give him a big hug, “Best feature, remember?”

     Levi scoffs and goes back to plating lunch. I nuzzle my face into the hollow of his neck, kissing the skin there. As soon as I notice that lunch is ready, I feel lips leaving a mark below my ear and a hand gripping my butt. He just leans his head back on my shoulder for a moment, playing with the hair on my arms. I breathe in his scent of lingering cologne and clean linen, kissing his neck softly one more time.

     Then I reach for my plate and go outside to the terrace. Levi follows, apron discarded, Scout at his heels. We sit together around a small table, eating our lunch of stir fry noodles. It’s delicious because Levi is an exceptional cook.

~

     After I finished all of my homework and Levi completed his lesson plans for next week, we played video games for the rest of the afternoon. It is now seven-something and we have lost track of time playing Black Ops. I get thirsty so we pause the game in order to rack up some refreshments.

     “I’m just gonna drink some water,” I say, standing up and trotting to the kitchen.

     My phone buzzes and it’s Annie, sending me something else on Snapchat: a photo of her, Mikasa, and Sasha getting spa treatments—Annie getting a manicure, Mikasa a pedicure, and Sasha eating the cucumbers. The caption reads “#spadaywiththebaes” and I can’t deduce what is funnier: what Sasha’s eating, or the fact that Mikasa is actually relaxing. Annie must’ve bribed her with something.

     Nope, don’t even want to go there.

     I fumble around in the fridge, searching for the pitcher of ice-cold water. I don’t exactly find what I’m looking for.

     “I found my water!” I hold a dark-colored bottle out in front of Levi. It says “Jägermeister” on the label and I’m sure it’s some sort of liquor.

     I shake it slightly, “What’s this?”

     Levi snatches the bottle from me, “It was in the basket Zoë brought along with some Red Bull. Excuse me while I make myself a Jäger Bomb.”

     “Don’t you have one right here?” I bounce my eyebrows suggestively. He smacks my shoulder because I’m an idiot.

     I watch him mix the two drinks to make such a devilish concoction. I smell the finished product, cringing; the strong fragrance burns my nostrils.

     “Ew,” I utter, bitterly.

     Levi pouts, and then suddenly chugs the entire glass-full. It seems to me that his brain implodes since he is shaking his head and blinking quickly.

     “Wow, that was good,” he looks at me with an eager grin.

     “Really? Do I get some?” I ask, expecting him to already be too drunk to think.

     Obviously, he is still conscious.

     “No way! You’re underage—do you think I need you drunk at seventeen?!”

     “But—!”

     “Here,” Levi slams a can of Red Bull in front of me on the coffee table, “You can drink this.”

     “You sure? It’s technically a school night,” I retort.

     Levi throws his hands up, starting to make another Jäger Bomb, “Your choice.”

     I sigh in acquiescence, “You’re such a bad influence.”

     “Hey,” he shakes his drink in front of me, “You should’ve already detected that.”

     I crack open the can and chug in unison with Levi, but I can’t drink much because I gag on the energy drink. It’s too strong and sweet for me; the entire night, I can only finish half of a can.

     I haven’t counted how many glassfuls, but Levi has drank enough Jäger to be extremely tipsy.

     “Heyyyy, Eren~” he slurs into my ear, “Play shum mushic pleashe~”

     I shake my head in disbelief, “Oh, gosh, Levi…Fine, who do you want?”  

     “Avril Lavigne!! I wanna dansh!”

     I pull up her newest “Hello Kitty” on my phone, definitely not prepared for what drunk Levi is about to do.

     As soon as the song starts playing, he gets up off of the couch I stay sitting on, and starts dancing to the beat. It is the silliest thing I have ever seen him do and I just have to record him. Levi dances both in a ridiculous, clumsy way, and in a seductive, sexy way. His hips swing in all directions and he lip-syncs to the song, enunciating every syllable.

     I am starting to get an erection, so I try shifting a bit. When I do that, I feel the sharp end on the headband with the black cat ears on it that Ms. Hanji gave to me. I keep videotaping with one hand and use the other to slide the ears onto my cute, drunk boyfriend. He looks unbelievably adorable. Mouthing the lyric “ _Come, come, kitty, kitty,_ ” Levi curls his finger in a come-here gesture, making me smile in heat.

     I realize how much I want him right now.

     The song finishes, so I end the recording and Levi stops dancing, admiring the softness of his new ears. I stand in front of him, sliding my fingers up his thighs and purposely over his groin. He shivers and gasps, super-sensitive as usual.

     “Nya~n!” Levi meows like a cat, suddenly increasing my libido.

     “That’s it.”

     I lift him up over my shoulder and take him to his bedroom, grabbing the tail-vibrator from the bag at the front door.

     His room is ultra-dark, but I really want to see Levi like this. After setting him on his bed, I turn the dimmest light in the room on, creating a golden glow about the area.

     I sit in front of him and ask, “Will you be a good kitty for me, Levi?”

     Being drunk, he totally catches on, “Yes, master. Please do whatever you want to me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter might come by tomorrow, might not


	13. Burns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is drunk kitty Levi smut, nightmares, and some Mikasa business.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, my laptop is too old to handle the existence of deviantart, so im gonna try different things to get these text images up. plus i have two picture that belong in last chapter, so i'm gonna try putting those in  
> i will notify you guys when ALL of my drawings/images are embedded so you can go back and check. like, for the snapchat stuff

     I have him on all fours facing me as I lie under him on my back, having already inserted the sex toy into Levi’s backside. I haven’t turned it on, yet. He is wearing absolutely nothing but the black cat ears and tail, making me wish Ms. Hanji had given me a collar too.

     Ah, well.

     I slide my hands to his soft ass and mush his flesh there, eliciting a meow or two.

     “Eren~” Levi leans down to kiss me roughly, trying to get what he so desperately wants.

     I’m not so sure I want to give it to him yet.

     I take one hand and stroke his cock slowly, teasingly, maintaining a tight grip. He breaks the kiss to hiss through his teeth as I slowly draw out my movement. He clenches his fists in the sheets, unable to say anything already.

     And then I switch the vibrator on.

     I hear the buzz of the machine and feel the vibrations emanating throughout his body. His eyes glaze over, his mouth drops open, and he trembles violently. His breathing speeds up, puffing hotly on my face.

     “Ah~!!...Eren~!!” Levi moans, overwhelmed by euphoria. He suddenly undulates his hips so his dripping cock is sliding through his fingers, creating friction. I don’t want him to cum yet but I’m too late to react as he arches his back and finally spills onto my stomach.

     “Nyaa~!” he cries out and then collapses on my chest, nearly passed out, but not quite. I take a look at his face and there are tears of ecstasy running down his cheeks. I wipe them, switching the vibrator off. Those tears happened because he was so high on pleasure and drunk on alcohol that he couldn’t manage a single, conscious thought.

     Levi suddenly lifts his head to stare at me, angrily, “I didn’t like that!”

     I raise an eyebrow.

     He yanks the tail out, shaking it in my face, “This isn’t your dick! Your hot cock is the only thing I want to throb in my asshole and make me cum!”

     I stare at him in disbelief. A snort escapes and I am laughing at him, all seriousness gone out the window. He pouts, so I knock the toy from his grip and then flip him over onto his back.

     “All of those lewd words got me so fucking hard, Levi. Are you ready?” I breathe into his ear, teasing his with my cock at his entrance.

     He spreads his legs wide as an answer, wrapping his arms around my neck.

     “Give it to me,” he purrs.

~

     I wake up in the middle of the night, finding myself unable to fall back to sleep. I busy myself by taking a hot shower and washing the filthy sheets for Levi. I know how he doesn’t like them dirty.

     I am able to pull the covers off because he somehow fell onto the floor while we were sleeping. Levi is still sticky with cum, so I wipe his clean with a damp rag. Then I quickly lift him up and tuck him under the clean blankets. Being so horribly drunk as he is, he stays fast asleep, snoring lightly. I smile, watching his sleeping expression change according to what his dream is.

     It doesn’t seem like he’s dreaming about rainbows and unicorns.

     I see his face grow troubled, peaceful, then troubled again. He shifts around as if he cannot find a comfortable way to lie down. He whines like a puppy with a broken leg—shouts out a cry once. I can detect tears forming, but never see them fall. Watching him, I grow concerned. I don’t want this nightmare of his to go on.

     Wait, am I supposed to wake him up? Hold on. I thought I read something about NOT waking up people with nightmares…right?

     Oh gosh, I can’t remember.

     But…maybe…I can change his dream? Can I do that?

     I sit down by his waist and take hold of Levi’s clammy hand. He immediately tightens his grip as if I will slip through and leave him so easily.

     I’m not planning on doing that to him.

     Using my other hand, I massage his body soothingly, all the way from his feet to his shoulders, hoping that doing so will relax him more. I caress his cheek with one hand, wiping away a tear or two. I kiss his velvety pink lips, smoothing his onyx hair back from his sweaty forehead. He whimpers again, kissing me back so demandingly that I question his being asleep at the moment.

     I kiss his cheeks, neck, collarbone, chest—not in lust but in consolation. Even in his dreams, I’m trying to let him know that I’m here for him, no matter the issue. If this nightmare has something to do with the past that I have yet to hear, then even more so. I will stay with him.

     Wait. Does this mean…

     Maybe, love?

     Do I…love him? I do, right? When did that start? Why?

     I bend over and rest my cheek touching his, my face almost smothered in his pillow. I rub his other warm cheek with my thumb, shushing his cries.

     “Eren…” he mumbles, still in the nightmare, “Don’t…go…”

     “Shh, Levi…” I whisper into his ear, “I’m right here. Not going anywhere, shh…”

     The creases in his brow slowly disappear; his painful outbursts end. His expression smoothes out and he is back to deep snoring. I am so relieved that whatever that was is over.

     I remain lying on top of him for a bit, fingers laced in his hair. I hear him mutter my name in peaceful sleep, which makes me smile. No one else—not even Ms. Fauster or the memories of my mother—can say my own name in such ways that make my heart either back flip or break at the very utterance.

     Oh, God.

     I think I’m in love with my math teacher.

~

     I decide to go downstairs to get my iPhone because I am still wide awake. Behind Levi’s bedroom door, Scout is fast asleep. I specifically remember leaving him out on the terrace in the evening, not taking him up here. Maybe he heard Levi’s cries of distress too.

     What an amazing pet.

     Scout wakes up suddenly, stretches his back, and strolls around one of my legs until he can enter Levi’s room. Before I descend the white stairs, I can see Scout cuddling up on his owner’s chest, making me breathe out a sigh.

     That happiness doesn’t last long.

     My phone is glowing up with missed calls from Annie, Armin, and—fuck—Mikasa. Texts from Annie and Armin tell me that my sister felt something was up and decided to go back to WOT instead. Mikasa’s texts indicate that she is both worried for, and extremely mad at, me.

     That last one breaks my heart.

     I collapse onto the couch and almost cry, for two reasons. One, I know that Mikasa cares for me so much, but I still put her through this terrible agony of not knowing anything about my whereabouts—that I might be dead, or something extreme like that.

     Two, I think Levi and I might have to break up. If I tell her the truth, we’re definitely over; even though she wouldn’t tell the school, Mikasa would surely be scared for me going out with an adult male—my teacher, at that. If I try lying, I’m gonna fail. Simple as that. I didn’t give Armin any back-up because I assumed Mikasa would stay at Annie’s, so she knows I’m not spending the night at any of my friend’s places.

     So…we’re over.

     I drop my head into my hands in exasperation, breathing somewhat erratically.

     This one month of us being together was amazing.

     But was it enough?

     Hell no.

     Suddenly, my phone buzzes in my lap.

     When I read the text, I’m not sure what I should do or feel.

     What?

     So, Armin spilled the beans under pressure and she got mad. Yeah, I get that, but…what could Ms. Fauster possibly say that would maybe change her mind?

     Oh, to heck with that right now! Mikasa knows…and she’s apologizing? What the hell?

     My head hurts and I clutch it in my hands.

     I really need some sleep.

 ~

     My dream is really blurry and dark. I’m not positive, but I think I’m in the clearing of an enormous forest with impossibly tall trees. In the middle, a blond, female “titan” is crouching. As I look around me, I notice Levi, Principal Erwin, and Ms. Hanji—all wearing an alternative form of our school uniform and heavy metal gear.

     Then I see the dead.

     Ms. Ral is dead, slammed against a tree, neck snapped back. Mr. Schultz is also dead. Mr. Bozado, the Physics teacher, is dead. Mr. Jinn, the Spanish teacher, is dead too.

     What the hell is going on?

     Everyone is on high alert. I am suddenly struck with an adrenaline rush as I instinctively fly towards that female titan. Then, I am engulfed in hot steam.

     It burns horribly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> after this chapter is one short chapter in Levi's pov, as the first chapter of the fourth fanfic called "I Will Find You" which I will link here asap


	14. Chicken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Mikasa expresses her loud opinion on the lovebirds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you have read "I Will Find You" chapter 1, first: http://archiveofourown.org/works/2365469/chapters/5222921

 

     “Eren...EREN!”

     I am shaken violently awake. Sitting up, I take in my situation. I am on the living room couch with Levi sitting next to me, my heart is racing, and my clothes are soaked in sweat. I wipe my forehead, wanting to check the time but I see my phone in Levi’s hands. Hands that are trembling ever so slightly.

     “It’s six; we have to leave by seven twenty to make it on time…You were screaming bloody murder; are you okay?” Levi mutters, voice quavering the tiniest bit.

     I gently take my phone from him, “Nightmare…Wait, aren’t you supposed to leave me alone? Doesn’t waking make the nightmare worse?”

     “That’s…for sleepwalkers, idiot…”

     “Oh…” I notice how he averts his gaze nervously, “Are you okay?”

     “Yes…”

     I hold his chin and make him look me in the eyes, “Levi. Are you okay? You’re shaking…”

     His lip quivers too. He starts breathing unevenly, as if he might cry. But I know he won’t.

     Instead, he embraces me around my shoulders, still quaking. He holds me tightly and I do the same for him. I don’t know what he’s so scared of or what made him seem this weak. It must’ve been something pretty bad.

     “I…read your texts, Eren…”

     Very bad.

     “You did?” I rub circles into his back.

     “Yeah…Mainly the ones from Mikasa. Sorry, but it was open to that app already and you had it so tightly in your hand. I got worried.”

     “Good thing to worry about,” I pull back and caress his cheek. He shakes his head and shrugs my hand off.

     “What are we going to do?” Levi asks, gently tugging me to follow him to the kitchen.

     I think for a sec, “Can you…get me to WOT quickly? And stay with me for a bit?”

     He starts making some scrambled eggs, “So you can talk to her?”

     “Something like that. I want to ask her to entrust me to you.”

     He chuckles, “I suppose that’s my job to ask her of that.”

     “Yeah…Hey, isn’t it kinda the other way around, though? Like, you’re totally bride material,” Levi tells me to get the ketchup bottle and I do, taking it out to the terrace table and then sitting down to wait for him to bring out the plates, “You cook, clean, submit to me during se—”

     Levi punches my shoulder before he takes a seat, too, “Just eat, brat. We’re not married—”

     “Yet,” I finish.

     He snorts, taking a neat bit of eggs, “You’re not even a legal adult yet. Now hurry up if you want to speak to your sister.”

~

     “Oh my God, Eren!” Mikasa gloms on me tightly, almost crying. She shakes with anger but knows she can’t say anything yet for fear of losing me again.

     I hold onto her for a bit, noticing that she’s still in her pajamas because we’ve arrived early enough. Levi looks on, sitting at the kitchen table next to Ms. Fauster, who starts questioning him nicely.

     Mikasa pulls back and drags me to them, dropping me into a chair. She sits next to me as I spot Armin coming down the stairs all dressed in uniform but still yawning.

     “Hey, Eren,” Armin says quietly, “Sorry about…yeah.”

     I smile, “It’s okay. I don’t want to have to lie anymore.”

     He takes a seat, too, and everything sorta happens.

     “So…” my sister starts, “how long has this been going on?”

     “A month. I stayed over this weekend because of our anniversary,” I tell her on my right.

     “Uh huh…” she still looks peeved and I don’t like that.

     “I’m sorry, okay Mikasa? But, I…love Levi too much to say goodbye!”

     Everyone is surprised when I say that, even the very subject of the conversation, who blushes deep red. Ms. Fauster does smile sweetly and Armin breathes out a sigh, but Mikasa slams her hands on the table and stands up. She looks at me with a creased brow and tight lips.

     “Eren,” she huffs, “you are too young to be thinking about love! Especially with a shrimp twice your age! What in the world got you thinking that this is right?!”

     I am taken aback. Wasn’t she done being mad at me?

     “Eren, this is wrong! I don’t care about you being gay or bi or whatever, but this is illegal! And don’t tell me you’ve already given up your virginity to an old man like him!” she yells in my face.

     I stay silent and look at the ground. Levi does the same, which just makes Mikasa even more furious.

     “Nope, I don’t even want to know,” she purses her lips and storms away to change clothes upstairs. Ms. Fauster follows her.

     Armin makes breakfast and Levi tells him we already ate. My blonde “brother” smiles in acceptance. I wish Mikasa would be more like him sometimes.

     I sigh in frustration and Levi catches my drift, holding my quaking hands and leaning over the table to kiss my temple, “Hey, it’s gonna be okay…”

     “I dunno…” I murmur, attention turned to the sound of calm footsteps on the wooden stairs.

     Fully dressed and hand-in-hand with Ms. Fauster, Mikasa walks down the stairs slowly. She is silent, with a blank face and no attitude. The older woman then lets go and scuttles along to assist Armin at the stove. Mikasa slumps back in her seat, pouting with nothing to say.

     I look back at Ms. Fauster, “What did you do?”

     “Oh, we just had a chat, is all. I reminded her that she has some secrets of her own and needs to give you some slack for even letting her know about yours. All Mikasa really needs sometimes is a nice, quiet talking-to. Now, who wants some pancakes?”

     My sister raises her hand like she’s in grade school. I smile at her, asking, “Is there anything else you need to interrogate me on, Miss Ackerman? Levi here has some things to do before homeroom begins.”

     She looks me in the eye, “No questions. Not anymore.”

     I get up, much happier, “Good,” I turn to my boyfriend, “We can go now.”

     Levi nods, standing up, “Thank you for your hospitali—”

     “Hold it right there,” Mikasa grabs my wrist tightly, “If you’re thinking that I’d ever hand over my brother to you—you’re fucking dreaming. Eren’s staying right here. He doesn’t have anything to do before class and he sure isn’t getting raped by his own teacher!”

     “Mikasa…” Ms. Fauster warns, placing a plate of pancakes lacking syrup on my sister’s placemat.

     “Hey,” she directs her words at the elder woman, “You said I should be happy that he told me—not be happy with them together!”

     Looking in my direction, she utters in icy words “You’re not leaving in his car!”

     I rip my arm from my sister’s grasp, “What if I want to, Mikasa?! What if he makes me happy?!”

     I stare at her with fiery eyes, “All you’ve ever wanted was for me to be happy—why does that change now?”

     Mikasa glares, gritting your teeth, “Because he will break your heart into a million pieces; all men do!”

     “That’s not tru—”

     “Or…you will leave me…” she slumps down in her chair with the saddest expression I’ve seen since we heard the news that Mom and Dad died, “I wouldn’t be able to go on if you left this place…”

     I exchange worried glances with Levi, who taps hid watch to remind me of the diminishing time.

     “Okay, Mikasa. I’ll stay,” I finally decide on something, “I’ll walk to school today with you and Armin, okay?”

     She looks up at me with a face that indicates how little she believes me, “Really?”

     “Yeah. But that doesn’t mean I’m breaking up with him, alright? I care for him too much,” I look over at my lovely boyfriend.

     Mikasa squints her eyes at him, “Well…that also doesn’t mean I’m gonna let you go out so mindlessly. You could end up broken.”

     Levi comes up behind me and puts a hand on my shoulder, “I’m not gonna let that happen…Will you entrust your brother to me, Mikasa?”

     She seems to mull it over but comes out blatantly, “Hell no, squirt.”

     “Hey!” I hold onto his hand, “He’s not that short.”

     “No, he’s short all right. A total shrimp. He should wear heels,” Mikasa pokes fun and I feel like things will work out in the end.

~

     “I would love to see you in heels, doe,” I leer at my favorite teacher during our lunch study session that day.

     Levi scoffs, “Not a chance.”

     I smile, “We’ll see about that. Mind if I text?”

     “Whatever, idiot.”

     Pulling my phone out and texting, I hum to myself the chorus of “Happy” by Pharrell Williams.  

     I click my phone off and look up at Levi, who was reading my texts all this time.

     “No.”

     “Yup.”

     He scoffs again and shoves my graded quiz at me, “Focus on your damn parabolas.”

     I chuckle, “Yeah, okay.”

~

     I arrive in Chem before class starts, stuffing the bag of heels into my backpack. As soon as the lunch bell rings, Mikasa storms into the room and seizes me by the collar.

     “Wh-what?” I stammer.

     “I saw you two at lunch. You don’t need tutoring anymore; I’ll teach you,” she spits out.

     I roll my eyes, “Mikasa, you’re in Calc AB. You should be focusing on your limits and whatnot—not my dumb functions. I want you to get that 5 on the AP test, you know?”

     She drops me, easing up on the anger because students are filing in, “Fine. You two can still learn together. But I’m not letting you go out again; he might harass you!”

     “Ugh, Mikasa…” I take a deep breath, whispering “Why can’t you understand that we’re in love?”

     “Because,” she hisses, “you don’t understand what love is!”

     “And you do?” I retort.

     Mikasa stares me in the eyes furiously. Then she throws her hands up, stomping to her seat. I sit in mine and take out my homework. I don’t dare chance a look back at my sister, the big chicken I am.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, once i write ch 2 of mikannie "That Titan in Her" , i will post it. it goes on during the next few chapters, but in mikasa'a pov. but i will probably post "My clarity" chapters 15, 16, or so BEFORE mikannie, because i havent even prewritten that chapter yet. just fyi  
> dont b afraid to comment below! :) or reach me on my tumblr


	15. Prying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which two couples go on dates, and something knew is learned about Zoe Hanji.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MAN has it been ages since I saw the AO3 homepage! Dunno if this post is rare or not, but I have SAT II tests soon, so here you go anyways!

      Mikasa wakes me up. It’s Saturday morning again.

     “What?” I grumble, wiping my eyes. She is fully dressed for work—wait, no. Those aren’t her work clothes, “Where are you going?”

     “Somewhere. Boss gave me another weekend off since I worked overtime this week. I’m going out with Annie and Sasha again; last weekend was fun. Now, do not go out today. I will not have my brother raped again!”

     “The hell, Mikasa…He’s not gonna rape me…” I get up to go take a piss. My sister follows, obviously not caring.

     “Yeah, he is—”

     “No!” I wash my hands and look up at my angry expression in the mirror, “He’s not. I’m the one making love to him—got that?! It’s been my choice to date him and I don’t need my sister on my case all the time. I told you on Monday that I loved him—something I have yet to tell him, personally. Can’t you just leave us alone?”

     Mikasa stays silent, leaning against my bathroom doorjamb, arms crossed. She lets out a long sigh after a while of thinking, muttering reluctantly, “I dunno, Eren…For now, I’m saying no. Armin promised that he’ll prevent you from leaving.”

     I frown at her, and then start dressing up.

     “I’m getting out of here.”

     She throws her hands up, “Fine! See if I care! I’m only trying to protect you from a broken heart!”

     I stomp out of my room and down the stairs, “Oh, yeah? Well, you’re breaking mine right now!”

     Armin gets up from his seat at the kitchen table, bracing his thin hands against my chest, “Eren, no! Mikasa told me to prevent you from leaving—”

     I shove him out of the way, “Sorry…But I can’t stay here.”

     I open the front door, and there is Annie, about to ring the doorbell.

     “Hey. Is Mikasa ready yet?” she questions, checking out her black-painted fingernails for cracks.

     My sister pushes roughly past me, “I’m right here. Let’s go.”

     “Where’s Sasha?” I ask.

     Surprisingly, Annie responds, “Sasha?” but Mikasa interrupts, “She’s gonna meet us at the mall. Right, Annie?”

     The blonde snaps her bubblegum, “Uh-huh.”

     I raise an eyebrow, totally seeing right through their rues. I see them off in Annie’s convertible, hoping that she will be able to keep my sister distracted enough to not worry about me for a day or two.

~

     “Hello?” Levi’s sour morning voice rings through my phone.

     “Hi, darling. You busy today?”

     He sighs, “Might be. Why?”

     “Cuz I wanna see you~” I complain, “Mikasa has been locking me up in my room all week. She’s finally gone so I can disappear for a bit.”

     Levi yawns, “…I dunno. Only if you can stay the night.”

     “Hold on a minute. I’ll call back.”

     I ring up Annie and ask if she can keep my sister overnight. She tells me that she’ll offer her some incentive, if I know what she means. I really don’t want to know about Mikasa’s sex life, at all.

     “Levi?” I call him back.

     “Yeah?” he yawns again and I hear the sound of bacon sizzling in the pan.

     “I can stay over. When will you pick me up? You’re apartment is a bit too far away for me to walk.”

     “After I eat and feed Scout and Roger.”

     “Okay! And can you bring me some food too? I haven’t eaten yet and I can practically smell that bacon through the phone.”

     “It’s turkey bacon. And sure,” Levi chuckles.

~

     My lips crash into his as soon as he arrives. I hug him so tightly; if he wasn’t the stronger man, I’d be crushing him. Levi pats my back, handing me a plate of bacon and then leading me into the passenger seat. I toss my bag into the backseat.

     “I’m so bored here, Levi!” I pout, starting to eat, “Can we do something fun?”

     “Hmm…” he slides into the driver’s seat, “We can go costume shopping? Next Friday is Halloween.”

     Both the engine and I roar to life.

     “Yes!” I clench my fists in excitement as we drive off, “Armin and I always take the younger kids from our sister orphanage trick-or-treating, so I need a costume. I was thinking Superman. Good?”

     “Perfect,” Levi snickers, probably imagining something, “I didn’t use to dress up until Zoë began forcing me to, so I may as well buy one now.”

     “Ah! I don’t have any money!” I realize, “I left my wallet…”

     “Don’t worry,” he smiles, still focusing on the road like the responsible driver he is, “I’ll pay for it. Consider it an early birthday present.”

     “My birthday’s in March.”

     “A very early birthday present, then,” he retorts.

     “Thanks,” I grin, “Sugar daddy.”

     “Don’t you dare call me that. This is only one time.”

     “Yeah, yeah.”

     I can’t help but love this.

~

     It being October 25th—so close to Halloween—Party Town is packed like a can of sardines. Levi and I squeeze past customers, searching for the superheroes aisle where I find my costume.

     “Hey~” I take it off of the rack and examine the label, “This one comes with inflatable muscles.”

     Levi snorts in almost-laughter. He picks out a Batman costume and I break out into a fit of giggles.

     “I think you’re a bit too short to be the Dark Knight.”

     He shoots me a dirty look.

     “I can be whatever I want,” he scoffs.

     “Uh-huh,” I utter, wandering off into the next aisle—animals. I get a brilliant idea and grab a horsehead mask.

     I put it on, going back to Levi.

     “Hi, I’m Jean Kirssshtein,” I mimic in a squeaky voice, “I like to frolic in the flowers with my other equestrian friends.”

     I neigh loudly, turning heads but I don’t mind. I take the mask off to see Levi, holding his hand against his mouth and nose. He is trembling; I can tell he’s trying to hold in his laugher.

     “Go ahead,” I say, “Laugh. It’s funny.”

     He clears his throat, “No-no. I don’t make fun of my students.”

     “Yeah, right,” I remember an earlier experience involving apple juice and a defective straw, “I’m getting this too. Just for ol’ Horseface.”

     Levi rolls his eyes and we go to make a purchase.

~

     “So, are you gonna wear that in class?” I ask, Levi cuddled up in my chest, watching newer episodes of Doctor Who on his tablet while eating Subway sandwiches.

     “No,” he explains, moving his head up to rest on me shoulder, “Zoë gave me an Einstein costume for this year. Batman’s for nighttime. Mind if I go with you guys and the kids? Armin’s a nice student; I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.”

     “Sure. Are you good with kids?”

     There is a short pause in which we can hear Peter Capaldi’s voice. Then Levi shrugs.

     “Maybe. I dunno. I’ve never really been around younger ones; I’m an only child and I teach teenagers,” he frowns.

     I turn his face towards me, using my fingers to smooth out his frown lines and straighten his eyebrows. His expression appears softer and kinder now—a face I have seen many times before but surely not many else have. I feel special in a good way now.

     “You’ll be fine,” I hug him to my chest again, “Anyways, it’s nice that Ms. Hanji gave you a costume. She’s really great to have as a companion.”

     Levi scoffs, “You don’t know the half of her.”

     He lies down, placing his head on my thighs, looking up at me. He takes a deep breath in and out, like he’s going to tell me something.

     Wait, is he opening up to me about…before?

     “I found her on the streets when I was fourteen…”

     He is.

     “I didn’t want to tell you this when you told me about your past because…well…” he trails off into silence, looking away.

     I brush his hair behind his ears with my fingers, urging him on.

     “Zoë was filthy—homeless at eleven years old, all alone. She was muttering to the air, crazy as she was. ‘Oh, titans. You are so amazing,’ she said, ‘I want to know so much about you.’”

     That word again. Titans. Why won’t it leave me alone?

     Levi pauses and looks back up at me. He reaches into my shirt and pulls out the two chains: one is a symbol of love, while the other is a confusing blot on my past and a hint to my future. He plays with the key for a bit, until I nudge him to continue if he has more.

     “Well, I was still living with my parents. I took her in, being the curious child I was. My parents weren’t exactly thrilled, but they grew to like her. Zoë proved to be an entertaining person and a great friend. I have never heard her utter any words similar to those I heard her say on the day we met,” Levi sighs, “Zoë only stayed for a week. I don’t know where she went, but I didn’t find her until she started going to the same Psychology lecture that I did in college. I still question how she got the money to go to Wandrosette University, but she did. She was an amazing student, two educational years behind me, but intellectually advanced. We’ve been great friends ever since. In other words, she buys me expensive booze quite often.”

     I chuckle and smile, taking in the weight of another’s past.

     “What was your life like, back then?” I ask, prying again.

     Levi looks away, “That’s…for another time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Included Doctor Who bc i love it omg  
> only on season 4 tho im so slow


	16. Stepping In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Levi has a special fetish and his 'specialty' is exposed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't been on ao3 in months! im soreee!  
> double update will be fulfilled to compensate!

     He doesn’t speak anymore. That episode of Doctor Who is over so we are in total silence. I want to break it.

     “Hey, if I told you I had a pair of heels, would you wear them for me, just this once?”

     “N-no!” he stutters, sitting up.

     I reach over the couch into my bag, pulling out the crimson pumps, “You sure?”

     Levi blushes the same color as the shoes, silent.

     I dangle the heels in front of him, tauntingly. He keeps staring at them, so I place the pair in his hands. I get off the couch and sit on the carpet, between his knees. Taking his left foot in my hands, I bring his big toe to my lips and kiss it.

     “Mnm~~” Levi suddenly moans, muffled by his hand.

     Huh?

     I lick his toes, making them dripping wet, and he whimpers some. I take his two smaller ones in my mouth and suck on them.

     “Ah!” Levi jolts, yanking his foot from me, “Stop it, Eren! It makes me…feel weird…”

     I smirk, looking at one specific place on my boyfriend, “Looks like someone wants to join the party.”

     He has an obvious hard-on, and I haven’t done much yet.

     “Levi, do you have some kind of foot fetish?” I ask.

     He pulls his knees up to hide his boner, “…I dunno. Maybe…”

     I put my palms on the couch cushion and lift myself up, towering over him. I take one of his feet back and gently push it into a shoe. He lets me this time. I do the same with the other foot.

     “You look nice. But something’s missing,” I state.

     “What?”

     I lean over to whisper in his ear, “Lingerie.”

     “I-” Levi stammers, “…I have some…”

     I gasp happily.

~

     It’s two o’clock and he has me seated on the edge of his bed in only boxers to watch the ‘show’ he has prepared for me. Apparently, he used to be a stripper as a side job in his early twenties for some reason he has yet to tell me.

     “I was quite the tease…” Levi murmurs from his bathroom, dressing up.

     “I’m sure you were,” I answer, getting a boner from anticipation of what is to come, “Hey, it’s been forever since your twenties; are you gonna remember how to lapdance?”

     “Fuck you,” his obscenity echoes and I laugh.

     Levi saunters out of the bathroom and he is the epitome of a sexy bitch. He is wearing a black lace thong, fishnet thigh-highs, and those hot red heels. His hair is just as usual, but dark mascara and thick eyeliner mark his beautiful eyes. Such makeup accentuated his sexiness; every bat of his eyelashes turns me on a little more.

     “Drooling like a dog,” Levi snaps me out of my infatuation, already in front of me, “This is what I usually looked like, most of the time. Made men hard in an instant.”

     “Yeah?” I groan, taking his hand in mine, “Making me that way too.”

     He yanks his arm away, “Nuh-uh. You can look…but you can’t touch.”

     “Shit. Hurry up and grind on my body, you fancy whore.”

     Levi leers, leaning his hands on my knees, “I’ll take that title as a compliment tonight. Now…don’t do anything much. Just watch.”

     I relax back on my palms. He presses play on his phone, starting a playlist of sexy songs. The first is Ariana Grande’s “Problem” and Levi starts moving to the music. He dances in front of me for a while, twisting his hips and shaking his exposed ass for me.

     I watch through hooded eyes, licking my lips. His movements are so sensuous and smooth, making me want to rip off those scanty panties right now and fuck him senseless.

     But I can’t. Not yet. I want to see this rare show.

     He lip-syncs to the lyrics he knows, sliding his fingers up and down his own body.

     “Tease,” I mutter, confirming his own earlier comment.

     Levi smirks, striding over closer to me. He raises a hand to comb his hair out of his face, still swerving his hips to the beat and biting his soft lips. He pokes his tongue out to slowly lick them, making them shiny with saliva. Oh, how much I want to kiss those cherry-red lips, tango with that tongue—but he won’t let me.

     Levi turns around with his round ass facing me. He puts his hands on my knees and slowly, finally, sits down on my raging boner. He grinds on my crotch, rubbing his lacy butt on me. I start to grind upwards but he holds me in place with his hands. I slap his mostly exposed ass-flesh, earning a mewl and a slightly faster pace. Groaning in lust, I relish the way he rubs against me.

   “Hey, Eren…” Levi slows down to a stop and I whimper, yet he is just turning around to ride my hips, “You can touch me however you want. I crave your body right now…”

     His face is flushed with arousal and I can see that his erection is straining against his panties. He doesn’t stop the lapdance though. He gyrates on my groin, rubbing his very own on mine. Levi holds onto my shoulders, chest near my face so I lick his perky nipples. I slide my hands over his fishnet-clad thighs, under the thong, to finger his anus. Once my digits enter him, he shudders violently.

     “Ahh~Eren…” Levi moans, slowing down his grinding, “This isn’t enough!”

     He gets off of me and scurries to the head of the bed to bring lube and a green tea condom, the last of the box. He takes only the lace underwear off as I strip my boxers. Levi stretches the latex around my member, straddling me again. He pushes me so I fall backwards onto the foam bed. He then lubricates only his entrance, breathing erratically. I reach forward to caress his throbbing dick, eliciting a whimper from him.

     Levi rubs the excess lube on my encased penis, whining, “E-enter me…Eren~”

     I don’t waste a second fulfilling that request.

     As I thrust into him, he bounces up and down on my cock, pressing his hands on my tanned chest. Our breaths come out in heated bursts, suffocating. My chest feels tight when I watch Levi’s expression; his eyes shut tight in engrossment and mouth open wide.

     I suddenly realize how elated I am just to be with him. The way his skin pricks when I touch him, how his eyes glisten with tears of euphoria, the cute way he bites his lip for comfort, the blush on his ears—these things make me feel sentimental. Sounds coming out of him are that of a saddened animal, making me want to protect him—to hold him for as long as I am able to.

     “Levi…” I murmur, rubbing his bare abdominals.

     He finally opens his eyes, not slackening his pace. His cock visually pulses and I can tell he is nearing his release.

     I reach my hand around his neck and softly pull him down on me, lifting my knees and hips to keep the same angle inside him. I take over and buck into him over and over, making sure to bang his sweet spot which I know so well.

     He moans loudly near my ear and I cup his chin to kiss him passionately. Saliva leaks down my cheek; overflow from our oral lovemaking. He suddenly pulls back.

     “Eren, I—ah!” Levi cums all over our chests and I soon follow suit, filling the latex with my seed.

     As we ride out our orgasms, out heartbeats sync, thrumming as fast as the beat of Dev’s “In the Dark.” I don’t even notice the background music—all I hear is our heavy breathing and marathon-fast heartbeats.

     “Eren…?” my boyfriend whispers.

     “Yeah?” I hold his cheeks in my hands, his forehead against mine, our lips nearly touching.

     “I fucking love you,” he sputters.

     I blush deeply, looking into his eyes for sincerity—something I hope to find but expect not to.

     I find it.

     Levi is flushed crimson, eyes wet with almost-tears. He kisses me without warning and these tongue dances are so full of love that I can’t help but believe that they are the best thing I’ve experienced in my life.

     He finally pulls back, breathing hotly on my lips.

     I smile gratefully, “I love you too…”

     Levi’s eyes widen and he smiles widely, but then his bottom lip quivers and he hides his face in the hollow of my neck.

     “Levi? Are you…crying?”

     “I don’t cry! Shitty brat, you think I’m that weak?” he retorts in a shaky voice.

     I flip us over so that I am on top of him. His red face is highly visible to me and I can see that salty liquid dripping down his cheeks. Levi abruptly wipes his eyes and narrows his eyebrows.

     I chuckle lightheartedly, rubbing off his smeared mascara, “You shouldn’t have to lie to me. I appreciate any emotion I get from you, no matter what it is.”

     Levi looks away, silent for a moment. He gets out from under me and turns off the music. He kicks off Ms. Hanji’s heels and neatly rolls down the stockings, tossing them into the clothes hamper. He strolls towards his bathroom, and finally speaks.

     “No lies, huh…Okay. Fine. Let me shower and then there will be no lies,” he utters, stepping in and closing the door.

     I sit up, baffled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pardon my bad smut and lapdance writing lol  
> next chapter nearly finished typing, will be up soon!


	17. Hearing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Levi spills the beans about his past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as promised, your double-update!

It is four o’clock and we are back on the couch downstairs. Levi hasn’t said anything yet about earlier, but I can’t blame him. He already said that such a story is for another time, hours ago, so now he has to prepare to tell that story.

    “You don’t have to tell me yet, you know…” I mutter.

    “I know. But I want to,” Levi gets up to feed Roger, who is a bit solemn at the moment, lingering near his plastic desk. Scout prowls around, walking under the coffee table and rubbing up against my calf. I pick him up, noticing that he has been growing lately. He pounces off of my hands, curls up in my lap, purring in relaxation.

    “These pets are like our children, huh?” I turn to face Levi who has sat back down next to me.

    “Yeah…” he looks away, resting his head on my shoulder, “I hope we don’t treat them like my parents treated me…”

    I lace my fingers in his, “Let it all out.”      

    Levi sighs, silent if only for a moment, “They both owned big businesses, making our family filthy rich. By looking at the clothes I wore and the things I had, you’d think I was living in the lap of luxury. Well, I was...and I wasn’t. It may be cliche, but I’m honest when I say that my parents didn’t pay much attention to me. At least, not the nice kind of attention that you’re supposed to get from parents…”

    He lifts up his shirt a bit and pulls the waist of his jeans down slightly. There, at the base of his hips is the mark I have seen a few times before during sex but never noticed much because I didn’t know what it really was, maybe a wound from war. It is deep, wide, and long, somewhere I always hold when thrusting deep into him.

    I shrug, “I’ve always thought it was a pretty sexy battle scar.”

    Suddenly, I feel a searing pain slice across my cheek as my head is forced to turn. I catch myself before I fall.

    Levi has just slapped me. He’s never done that before. And it hurts.

    “This is not a fucking battle wound, dolt!” he holds his trembling hand, shaking with anger, “This is a belt scar! My dad used to punish me with one; he’d fucking abuse me until I wailed, which would only get me more scars. He used to suffocate me with his bare hands and tie me down with ropes like I was his prisoner. Thank god he never raped me—he was such a disgusting brute…”

    Levi is shaking with fear, quivering with sadness and neglect. I slowly scoot towards the hushed man, encircling my arms about him. He doesn’t push away as I would expect; instead, he hugs me tightly.

    “My dad hated me,” he murmurs into my chest, “and my mom could care less. I wasn’t the son they wanted…”

    I raise an eyebrow, “But you’re so perfect. What did they see in you that they didn’t want?”

    Levi looks away, “Eren...it’s cliche, but...it’s cuz I’m gay. They were very traditional parents.”

    “Ah,” I don’t have much to say. I didn’t know I was bisexual until I met Levi—my only other partner was this girl in fifth grade, for God’s sake—and I never was able to ‘come out’ to my parents because I thought I was straight as an arrow.

    Levi nods absentmindedly, “I got depressed in high school; my grades dropped, and I even started smoking my dad’s cigarettes when I ditched class. He caught me smoking once, and I never heard the end of that conversation…”

    Scout is asleep between us, in my lap. Levi looks down at him and smiles, lifting him into his little bed cushion and then coming back into my embrace, “All I wanted was for someone to notice me.”

    I take a breath and then sigh, “If you just wanted their attention, why didn’t you just earn, like, a big scholarship or something. I’m sure you were intelligent enough.”

    “I did,” he continues, “but that, they didn’t care about—they were too focused on the fact that I was imperfect; I would never have a wife and children for them, I was gay, and I had such a horrible social reputation. It was rare to get a ‘Good job’ in that house. And all of my classmates expected a rich boy like me to be capable of earning a scholarship, so they didn’t care either...It’s like I was a nobody…”

    I remain silent, holding my lover loosely. He keeps speaking in a grave tone.

    “I remember asking my parents what they have always wanted me to be as an adult and where I should adventure off to...My mom answered ‘We want you to be a perfect son.’ and my dad told me ‘You should go to hell!’” Levi’s voice breaks right there and then, but he doesn’t stop, “So I figured, why not go into the military, to a base far away from them? But my parents already had two years worth of college tuition ready for me to go to Wandrosette U. So I went. By that time, I had stopped trying to make them notice me; I just wanted to get over with those two years and run off to the military. I even changed me last name so that, when I left, they wouldn’t be able to find me

     “As soon as my second year ended, my parents kicked me out of the house and cut off all financial ties. It was like they finally found someone better than me; if I had a younger brother or sister, I would’ve never known.”

     Levi stops to breathe some, but he keeps going, pouring out every bit of his past that exists.

     “I met Erwin earlier on in college. We became extremely close friends—close enough that he was able to convince me to stay in university and become an educator instead of join the army. He allowed me to stay in his apartment on one condition…”

     I raise my eyebrow at him and he confirms my suspicions.

     “As long as I agreed to go on some dates with him. We had fun, at the time, and I even thought I loved him. But that was a farce, just like everything else.

     “I still had to pay tuition, all on my own. So I worked a couple of jobs. Barrista for Starbucks in the early morning, bartender after noon classes, stripper late into the night.

     “Oh, the stripper job was the worst. Not only was I constantly hit on for my ‘fabulous thighs,’ but I was raped once by this filthy bastard. Good thing he had enough decency to slip on a fucking condom before he jammed his meat up my ass. And I hated wearing thick makeup; it made me seem so fake and not myself. But at least I was able to pay for university with all of that late money earned. It was a good thing that my earliest class ever started at nine in the morning, otherwise I would’ve never graduated with that Master’s.”

     I smile and ruffle his hair, earning an annoyed scowl, “Well, Levi, you are an awesome teacher, okay? You turned me from a D- student to a B- student! That’s impressive, even for me!”

     He bops me on the head, “Yeah, yeah…Uh, that’s about all I’ve got. Nothing else but the heartrending breakup with Erwin. Oh, and that one time fling with Zoë, but she was really too high maintenance. Don’t ask.”

     I chuckle, “So…wait, do you still have feelings for those two? Like, romantic feelings?”

     Levi flicks my forehead, “Out of all the possible things you could ask, you pick that?! Don’t be idiotic. I’m an adult for God’s sake; you don’t think I can let go of an old boyfriend? Ugh, it might not look like it, but the three of us are friends, not any sort of lovers…You are my lover now, aren’t you?”

     I blush, “Of course! I love you so much!”

     Levi snickers at my words, but then becomes serious as he caresses my cheek, “It’s still red. I’m sorry for slapping you like that…My past brings out the worst in me, which is why I didn’t want to tell you…”

     He shifts slowly to kiss my cheek sweetly, making me grin warmly.

     “You know,” I say, “I like that feisty side of you. You’re a very bold person; only living the way you did could make you that way.”

     “I understand…Thanks,” he mutters, staring off to where Scout is fast asleep. I look over at Roger instead, who is actually quite active. I’m sure it’s almost our dinnertime; he always gets like that around mealtimes, even though he isn’t the one getting fed.

     I let my left hand wander down to that scar Levi hates so much. I run my fingers over it and my boyfriend whips his head to look at me.

     “You hungry?” I utter, still entranced in the way his skin feels right there: rough and marred, contrast to his normal, porcelain-smooth, perfect pale skin.

     “Not really…” Levi trails off.

     I take the opportunity to gently push him down onto the couch cushions scooting down so my lips can touch his scar, “This here is your past. I accept all of it because it is a part of you whom I love dearly…”

     I can hear Levi whine, maybe sobbing with tears of joy, but I cannot tell. I remain kissing his scar, licking it, creating hickeys there. I mark the scar that is a part of his past; make love to it because it is now all mine.

     He has finally opened up and let me inside.

     My lips are shiny with saliva when I finally lift up, moving to kiss Levi’s awaiting lips. He wraps his legs around my waist, entwining his tongue with mine. I can’t get over how much better our kisses are today. My heart is running a marathon, and it can’t be much happier.

     Roger is swimming about excitedly, as excitedly as a betta fish can swim. He’s one crazy little blue fish.

     Levi breaks the lip-lock and stares up at me, “You know how I have nightmares sometimes?”

     “Yeah…About your dad?”

     “Mostly. Well, recently there was this horrible one—that night I got drunk on Jäger Bombs. My dad was beating me with his bare hands, brutally, but someone pulled me away from his grasp—saved me. He said ‘I’m right here, not going anywhere.’ And then my dad disappeared. I haven’t had a single nightmare since.”

     I beam at Levi, so proud of what I did.

     “Thank you…” he blushes.

     We never do eat dinner that night. My boyfriend and I make passionate love for hours upon hours, never letting go of each other. Sugar-sweet nothings are exchanged; I am getting a cavity from hearing them.

     And Roger keeps on swimming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's christmas break right now so i might upload more eventually.  
> i'm writing chapter 26 on paper, so im REALLY behind in typing and uploading on ao3  
> im on doctor who season 6, yes!


	18. Trick-or-Treat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the day is Halloween, and there are some terrible mix-ups.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while. you know, college apps, scholarships, etc UGGGHHH  
> hope you like this chapter. The next one will be the best and the funniest EVER, I promise!

     When I wake up in the morning of Halloween, I don’t realize that what happens tonight will change my social life.   

     I yawn and sit up, stretching in the morning light. It’s already Friday again. This past week has been the best: Mikasa has been less protective of me, I got my first A+ in Pre-Calc, and Levi has just been the sweetest boyfriend in the world. I don’t know what I’d do without him—probably wallow in depression.  
    

     I have just finished inflating the muscles on my Superman costume. Standing in front of my bathroom mirror, I gel my hair back and curl a few strands in the front.

     I think I look great.

     “You look ridiculous.”

     My sister is leaning against my room doorjamb when I exit my bathroom. She's already in costume—a dark burgundy Victorian style dress, complete with an enormous top hat. Trost High allows us students to dress up on Halloween, but if we choose not to be in costume, we must be in uniform. No one really likes the gaudy, brown-and-white outfits, so we all choose to dress up.

      I scoff at Mikasa's comment, slinging my backpack over my shoulder, "You're just jealous."            

     We meet Armin at the breakfast table, all dressed up in a white lab coat and goggles.

     I giggle, "Are you Ms. Hanji, Armin?"

     He blushes, "No. I'm a mad scientist."

     "Same thing," Mikasa is forking down some bacon and eggs.

     I grab a ready-made omelet, racing out the door before anyone else.

     I really want to see my adorable Levi in his Halloween costume.

     But Mikasa catches up to me immediately.

     "Hey!" she calls, "Jean's having a party tonight, and Annie and him are forcing me to go. I need you to come too!"

~

     That turns into a long argument with Mikasa because Levi, Armin, and I already plan to take the orphans trick-or-treating. And then I’d get some Levi action after, or something. She agreed to let us go, but at 9 o'clock to come to the party once the kids went home.

     Guess I'm not getting any of him tonight.

     “Heyyy, good-looking,” I strut into his empty classroom, leaning on his desk with my palms,

“You know, you don't look much different than usual.”

    Levis scowls, shaking his head. He has on a white lab coat like Armin, but with an Albert    Einstein wig and poofy mustache to top it off. He returns his eyes to his laptop screen, silent.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            

“What? Something wrong?” I look both ways and then cross the distance between us to kiss his cheek. He doesn't respond whatsoever, so I am extremely puzzled.

   I poke him incessantly, until he gives in.

     Levi sighs, closing his laptop, “What?”

     “I asked you if there's anything wrong,” I pout.

     He looks away, “Erwin...asked me out on a date. Again.”

     My eyes widened, “What? I thought you guys were just friends.”

     “Apparently, he thinks differently.”

     You turned him down, didn't you?”

     “Of course I did, but he's persistent. He’ll ask again...I can't believe he still won't let go...” he taps a rhythm on his desk.

     I put my hand on his, “Well, you have me. I...”

     Ringing school bells drown my voice out, but I'm sure Levi can read my lips. He blushes, sighs, and stands up, peering out the windows. No one yet.

     I take the opportunity to give him a hug and kiss on the temple.

     “See you in third.”

~

     Homeroom. Vampires and werewolves; fairies and superheroes; anime cosplay galore! I can't get away from the Halloween spirit. Not that I'd want to; it's my most favorite holiday.

There’s just one thing confusing the heck out of me.

     “Jean. What the hell are you?”

     His usually tan hair is dyed midnight black and streaked with white lightning bolts. White makeup is powdered all over his face and he has a stark white toga on. If I had any less sense in me, I'd say he was wearing a dress.

     “Frankenstein's bride, of course. Who else?” he scoffs.

     “Ok...” I cringe, “Well, why are you crossdressing?”

     “To match Mikasa, of course! Mina told me that she was planning on dressing up as Frankenstein’s monster, so who else would I cosplay?” Jean-the-idiot says with a smile plastered to his face.

     Oh, how I do love to make it turn upside down.

     “Earth to Kirstein, Mikasa's not Frankenstein. She's a Victorian noblewoman. Besides, even if she was, you should’ve dressed up as something that makes more sense, like Dr. Frankenstein. Not the bride!” I guffaw, enjoying how fast his face falls, “And they’re saying I’m gay…”

     If he were any less manly, he would have burst into tears.

     I smile, pulling something brown out of my bag, “Cheer up. You can wear this all day to cover up your hideous hair.”

     I plop the horsehead mask on his head, and suddenly all eyes are on Jean Kirstein.

     He sniffles a bit inside the mask, but finally utters, “…Neigh?”

     Today, I have won.

~    

     “So…can I marry her?”

     Snack has just started and already Annie has accosted me with the strangest of questions.

     I am dumbfounded, “Her, who?”

     “Your sister, of course. We’ve already fucked and stuff,” she examines her grey-painted nails, matching her whole zombie costume.

     I nearly retch on the spot, “Oh, God, I really didn’t heed to hear that. Do not tell me any details about you two. I pretty much already knew she was doing you.”

     “Doing me?” she raises her eyebrows, “Oh, no, no, no. I’m doing—“

     “Aggghhh!” I cover my ears, “No thank you.”

     She shrugs and I lower my hands, “Well, thanks,” she says and strolls off.

     Wait, what?

     “Thanks for what?”

     “Your blessing.”

     “I didn’t say you could marry her!” I call.

     “You didn’t say I couldn’t, either!”

     And then she is gone.

     I have no other words to say.

~

     Nothing much happens in third or fourth period, just observing a saddened Jean-bride and trying to avoid the glare of a still-slightly-pissed Mikasa. Oh, and Levi caught me dozing off during his lecture so he popped my left bicep with a sharp pencil. Not cool, man. Not cool.

     It’s now lunchtime and my darling just happens to be absent from his room, so I wander around, sit and eat with my fellow orphans, discover that Marco is actually the one dressed up as Frankenstein’s monster.

     I suppose that makes a bit of sense. I mean, they’re best friends and all. And, well, Mina ships them together like hell, so the mix-up about Mikasa’s costume makes even more sense.

     Seven minutes before the bell, my curiosity peaks. Levi still isn’t in his room, which is actually kind of weird. He’s always in his room, even if he has to do some office work or something, he comes back here asap.

     I swing by the attendance and counseling offices, giving excuses about wanting to give him some homework or take a make-up test, but to no avail.

     I go out of my way to check the principal’s office, which is quite hidden in the back because if someone ever needs to contact Principal Smith, he’s in the quads at snack and lunch.

     But apparently, not today.

     I glance through the window and I can see the both of them, talking like good friends, smiling, laughing. Levi actually gives Principal Smith a smile that I have never seen.

     This is jealousy, right?

     My heart aches just a bit. I notice that the two of them actually look quite decent together. Principal Smith with his usually coiffed, blonde hair, chiseled facial features, mature attitude, and professional aura—today, he is a porcelain vampire. Levi, my adorable Levi, with his shining onyx locks, piercing dark eyes, plush lips, and bold character. They seem to be the total package. Maybe…they’re better for each other?

     Wait, what the hell am I thinking? Am I losing faith in my lover? No way. We are just getting started. I am not letting him go.

     The bell rings and I push any ounce of jealousy into the farthest, dustiest, cobweb-ridden corner of my mind.

     And I hope it stays there.

~

     I don’t know if seven o’clock is too early to go trick-or-treating, but we’re off!

     Levi arrived a while ago, decked out in his Dark Knight costume. It’s a tad big for his, so I go about pinning parts up, realizing that the abs showing through aren’t inflated, but his real ones.

     Armin gives us both pillowcases, even though I say that Levi is surely way too old to receive candy.

     “Watch me,” he tells me.

     Wandrosette Orphanage for Children is walking distance from WOT, so it only takes a few minutes to get there and ring the doorbell. While waiting, I ask my boyfriend whether or not he likes candy.

     “Well,” he answers, “I like hard candy like Jolly Ranchers and lollipops, but I’m not really a chocolate guy. Except Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. Those are delicious.”

     I smile, mentally taking note of yet another fact about my adorable lover.

     All fourteen trick-or-treaters are out and ready for some candy. Their costumes are cute and stereotypical—witches, vampires, mummies—although I do notice a cute Sailor Moon hidden in the crowd. They are carrying pillowcases and plastic bags, swinging them around like the children they are.

     I know all of them by name, but one little girl really stands out; she always has.

     Little Inja White.

     Seven years old, encased in a wheelchair, dressed as a fairy. She and her parents got into a car accident three years ago, leaving her an orphan, paralyzed from the waist down. I only visit her on holidays; she seems to like me, but honestly, she’s already such a friendly person that I’m not the only person she can turn to. The thing that connects us is who her parents were: my parent’s closest friends.

     I don’t know much else. Inja is a great girl with a ton of spunk, and I’d adopt her if I was old enough.

     “Eren!!”

     She collides her wheelchair into me, nearly crushing my foot.

     “Ah, Inja!” I spin her around, “That hurt!”

     She giggles with exhilaration. Levi raises an eyebrow and Armin explains as we head to the first house.

     “Trick-or-treat!!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suppose Inja is Mikasa in the canon universe because Eren and Mikasa's parents knew each other, since in my AU Mikasa and Eren are actual siblings  
> look forward to more of my adorable OC Inja White!


	19. Forget This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the orphans go trick-or-treating until Eren and Levi stumble upon Jean's strange Halloween party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's been a while guyz...hope you like this chapter tho   
> it is the epitome of "LOL" i think

     By the time we get two houses away from Jean’s, Levi’s bag is bursting with sweets, while I haven’t gotten a single piece. The entire neighborhood told me that I was too old to trick-or-treat, and refused to fork over even a single Snickers bar.

     I’m too old?!

     While I remain candy-less, Levi really racked up the sweets, passing for a youth because of his height and the false smile he put on.

     We skip Marco’s house because a. Marco’s at Jean’s party, b. the house is dark and very non-Halloweeny, and c. Marco’s parents are usually never home. Only Jean knows why.

     So, Jean’s. Levi knows it’s his house because he’s had to speak to Jean’s mom time and time again about her son’s behavior.

     Levi turns to the group and I stop Inja’s wheelchair.

     “Okay, kids. Uncle Levi and Eren need to get going now. You may follow Armin to the rest of the houses before you go home,” he chirps in his most child-friendly voice.

     “Aww…” Inja whines.

     “Is this a potty break?” Sailor Moon asks.

     “Yeah, I gotta go,” a vampire complains.

     Levi glances over at me and I look at Armin, who shrugs.

     “Uh, sure,” Levi mutters, “I’m sure Jean wouldn’t mind. I need to go also.”

     He rings the doorbell and it is Frankenstein Marco who answers, carrying a huge bowl of candy.

     The kids instantly gasp, “Trick or treat!!”

     Marco smiles oddly at the orphans, totally out of character, and hands out the sweets, even into my pillowcase.

     Levi strolls in past Marco, not giving a care in the world about permission.  I start following him, but all of a sudden a huge fraulein grabs me by the forearms and yanks me into a waltz.

     The last things I see before I am engulfed in disco lights and the smell of pizza grease are Armin’s exasperated gaze, the kids leaving without taking a piss, and Inja’s goodbye wave.

     This party is absolutely nuts, like some mainly gay college frat party, but I cannot discern any details due to the speed at which Jean’s mom is spinning me around. She doesn’t seem much like her usually calm self—instead, she’s a tad crazier and more energetic. I hear Panic! at the Disco blaring from the loudspeakers, so surely Annie is DJ.

     I see Levi pass me with a full cup of punch in his hand.

     “Levi, help! She won’t let go of me!”

     He scoffs and keeps on walking to Jean’s restroom.

     “I’m Batman,” he mutters, swishing his cape.

     Mrs. Kirstein is crushing the life out of me as I struggle, pushing on her shoulders to let me go. She doesn’t, until Nac comes over, dressed like Iron Man, and tells her, “Ma’am, the wedding is going to start soon. We need more punch.”

     “Oh, sure!” she bellows, releasing me from her choke-hold.

     “Wedding?” I raise my eyebrow at Nac, who chuckles.

     “Of the Frankensteins, of course!”

     And what I then witness is unbelievable.

     Annie spins the wedding music from who-knows-where, Jean and Marco are under the kitchen doorway which is decorated with streamers, and Mrs. Kirstein has just put a veil on Jean’s head and a fake bouquet in his hands. Connie stands between them out of his earlier costume as a makeshift Justice of the Peace, pretending to read out loud from Jean’s Lang notebook.

     “Do you, Long Jean Kirstein, take Marco Bodt-y to be your unlawfully wedded husband?” he asks.

     Jean blushes deep crimson, then whispers, “Yeah. I do,” under his breath.

     “And do you, Marco Bodt-y, take Long Jean Kirstein to be your unlawfully wedded husband?”

     Marco smiles suggestively, just as he did earlier, “I sure as hell do.”

     “Then I now pronounce you fucking married. You may kiss the horse.” Connie punctuates his ending by downing another full glass of punch and passing out.

     Marco pulls Jean to his chest and proceeds to kiss him roughly.

     Wait, what is hell is going on here?

     And where’s Levi?

     I’m about to go looking for him, but Nac interrupts me, holding out a glass of crimson liquid, “You should have some punch. You know how Jean’s mom is the best chef ever? Well, she knows the greatest punch recipe!”

     I take it, only to be polite, but quickly realize that I am actually quite thirsty, so I down the whole cup in one go.

     Fuck, it burns going down, like a fire lit in my throat.

     “What,” I question Nac, “was in that?”

     He just shrugs. Mrs. Kirstein waltzes back to us with her bride-son in her arms, chirping, “I tipped a few bottles of tequila in there on accident, so I spiked the punch. I call it spunch! It has this little extra oomph in it, dontcha think?”

     I blink really quickly, “So, everyone here…is drunk? But…we’re not even old enough yet; it’s illegal!”

     The fraulein shrugs, “Illegal? Never heard of such a word!”

     And then she and Jean twirl away.

     I need to get out of here. Where the fuck is Levi?

     “Le—uh, Mr. Heichou?” I shout, maneuvering around a running Igor—Ymir as the body and Krista as the hunchback, but now she is poking her head and hand out of Ymir’s giant shirt, which was probably borrowed from Reiner, drinking some “spunch” and giggling.

     “Yeah, yeah, yeah, ‘m here Erennn~”

     Levi finally appears, staggering from the punch table, Batman mask off, carrying two cups of spunch. He empties them into his stomach as soon as he reaches me.

     “Levi! Don’t drink that!”

     He hiccups, “Too late. It’s good~”

     Levi rests his head on my shoulder and we are backed up against a wall.

     “I feel sick,” I tell him, “Can we leave?”

     He vigorously shakes his head, rubbing his forehead on my shoulder, “But I wanna shtayyyy~”

     D’awww…

     I sigh, looking around to make sure that everyone else is preoccupied—which they very much are—and then proceed to embrace my adorable boyfriend, “Oh, fine…But no more spunch.”

     Levi lifts his head up to stick his tongue out at me.

     Oh my God, he’s so cute.

     I hug him for a while, observing the very active party from my vantage point. Colorful lights bounce off of everybody’s skin, glowstick necklaces are sported, and speakers are blaring every Paramore song that ever existed— probably on an automatic playlist because Annie is nowhere to be seen. Everyone is drunk, out of character and doing stupidly crazy thing. It seems fun but so far from legal.

     I can see only three people on Jean’s burgundy couch: Reiner, Bertholdt, and Connie. Reiner is cradled in Bert’s lap, macking the hell out of him. The brunette is in a bacon costume, while the blond is dressed as a sunny-side-up egg. Connie is sitting way off to the left, sighing into his hands. He is back in costume: a giant Sour Cream and Onion Pringles can.

     “Get a room!” I hear Sasha yell at the Titans, munching on an even larger bag of chips than usual, dressed up in a Barbecue Pringles can to match Connie.

     The egg drags a wobbly bacon strip up to Jean’s guest bedroom, and I would surely love to see the horse’s face when he cleans up that room tomorrow.

     I see Sasha sit down next to her boyfriend, who sighs even louder, “I wish we could be as intimate as them…”

     Sasha snorts, “Nuh-uh. Not tonight; I’m way too busy making out with Kirstein’s pantry!”

     She chomps on another chip to emphasize her statement, while Connie pouts, unsatisfied.

     Levi’s shuffling brings me back to his attention. He licks his way up my neck, making me blush furiously.

     “L-Levi!” I hiss, “Everyone can see!”

     He moans a complaint, sucking on my skin, “But I’m hornyyy~”

     Levi ruts his groin against mine so I can feel just how hard he is.

     “We can’t…Not here…” I push his hips gently away for fear of a reaction from my own member, “Go…jack off in Jean’s bathroom or something…”

     He pouts, “I don’ wanna. I wan’ youuu…”

     I sigh, “We’ll have to leave then.”

     Levi gives me an angry expression, leaving my embrace for the spunch table. I shake my head in disappointment.

     Then I feel somebody next to me.

     “Erennn~”

     And it’s Mikasa.

     “H-hey!” I reply nervously, scratching the back of my neck, “What’ve you…”

     I take one look at her, and she looks and smells like sex. Costume gone, clothes off, only in a skimpy bra and panties.

     “Oh! Mikasa! You…reek! What have you been doing?!”

     “Going at it with my chick,” she points back at Annie, who gloms on my sister.

     The blonde leers, “We were fucking in Jean’s bedroom. I told you that I was doing her, right Eren?...Come on, darling. Won’t you give me a lapdance?”

     “Hell yeah! Oh, by the way, bro, have you seen my thighs?” Mikasa kicks her leg up against the wall behind me, “They’re so toned! Look at them!”

     I try not to, “Yeah, okay, Mikasa. You’re way too drunk.”

     “Am not! Fuck off, Eren!” she gives me the middle finger and turns away with Annie, pushing her onto the couch facing me and proceeding to give her a sexy—did I just say that about my sister?—lapdance to her girlfriend.

     Annie seems indifferent, but she looks over at me with a knowing smirk. Then her expression changes into an ecstatic O as Mikasa doing something that must feel really good. I cringe, hearing Annie moan slightly and Mikasa pant.

     I really want to forget what I have just seen.

     Good thing Levi comes over with another cup of red spunch.

     “Gimme that,” I grab the drink from his hand, “I need to forget this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it was fun writing a bit about all of their different drunken personalities lol  
> look forward to about ten or so more chapters!  
> I'm writing the end on paper already! but im planning to add many more chapters to levi's pov, just in the future cuz i love my au too much...  
> comment below; I love hearing you guys' thoughts! <3


	20. Better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Eren gets drunk for the first time and there is a Facebook issue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> srry for the spammed fb post lol it's too long i know

     After two more, I am so drunk that I really don’t give a shit anymore. The world is spinning, and all I can see is my beautiful boyfriend’s face.

     Levi looks up at me with a lusty expression: his eyelashes flutter quickly, his tongue pokes out of his slightly parted lips to wet them, his pink lips purse.

     He goes in for the kiss and I can’t do anything about it—not that I’d want to. I fall into the sensation, improving it by turning around so his back is flush against the wall and hoisting Levi’s legs around my waist. He lets my tongue enter his mouth so I can map it out yet again. The liquor has turned my brain to mush, so I can’t tell how long we’ve been making out. My arms are getting extremely tired, but I keep holding onto him.

     I am starting to feel his erection throbbing on my belly. Levi bucks his hips upward and I know what he needs.

     Oh, God. I need it too.

     But that one rational spark in the corner of my brain tells me: Not here.

     So we finally leave. I drag Levi out of Jean’s house and down the sidewalk, hoping that his apartment is near enough.

     “Levi…Where’s your apa’men’?”

     “Uhh…” he trails off, so the sober side of me looks for landmarks.

~

     I have us in a 69 position; he placed on top of me. His luscious ass hovers over my face. I can see but one tiny blemish on his porcelain behind—a small mole. I kiss it and his backside suddenly prickles with goosebumps.

     “Oh, Erennn~” Levi purrs from his place at my groin.

     I grab his soft buttocks, rubbing the bumps away, gently pulling them apart to expose his lovely, rosy entrance. I run my tongue along his perineum, and then tease him with the tip of my tongue inside. He tightens up immediately, panting heavily at the other end.

     “N-n-n-n-no~…Don’ tease me…”

     I chuckle, breathing against his butt, thrusting my tongue further. Levi suddenly pushes back on me, sucking my tongue deeper into his throbbing anus, before he turns around to yell at me.

     “Dammit, Eren! I said don’t tease me! Fuck me!”

     I pout, “Bossy bitch! Always need to have your way, huh?”

     “Hey!” he shouts when I flip him over onto his back.

     I grab onto his hard penis, stroking him slowly, dragging this on longer on purpose. He shudders under me, whimpering. He lifts his legs up to wrap around my waist.

     “Hurry up…” Levi whispers between shaky breaths, “My throbbing asshole is begging for your hot cock!”

     Those words send my libido skyrocketing.

     “I’m not holding back!” I demand, rendering him speechless as I thrust deep into him, bareback.

     “Ahh!” Levi squeals, instantaneously jolting with an orgasm.

     I stare at his cum, then at his hazy eyes. His chest rises and falls slowly as he comes down.

     I cringe, “Ah, hell no! We are not done!”

     I instinctively begin rhythmically rutting my hips, causing his oversensitive insides to pulsate, his softening dick to come back to life, and him to start moaning loudly.

     “Eren!”

     “Levi!” I grunt, hitting his sweet spot.

     “Oh, God!...Eren~” Levi grips onto his pillow, stroking his cock slowly.

     “Levi…Do you feel the way my big dick is tearing up your tight asshole?”

     “Mmnn~” he moans in agreement.

     I run my fingers up his bare chest, “Do you feel my fingers drawing circles on your belly, pinching your cute, pink nipples?”

     He nods vigorously.

     I hover over his face, “I know…how much you like the way I thrust my tongue into your heated cavern of a mouth!”

     “Fuckin’ kiss me!” Levi seizes my lips in a violent kiss, sucking on my tongue roughly. He traps me in his arms, following my rhythm. Soon, I spill my seed inside of him, and Levi follows immediately after, back arching flexibly.

     “Oh, Eren~” he moans, digging his fingernails into my shoulders as he spurts white cum onto his chest and even his chin.

     I lick the bead off his chin, and then go back to making out with him vigorously.

     I’m not letting go of Levi Heichou tonight.

~

     It’s bright and early Saturday morning again and the only thing I can think about is the splitting headache I’m getting.

     “Ugh…” I rush to the bathroom to puke my guts out but I find Levi already there, occupying the toilet with his own barfing.

     He doesn’t notice me, so I swallow my bile—ugghhh—and whisper hoarsely, “Levi? You don’t look so hot.”

     He lifts his head up abruptly, wiping the leftover spittle with a sheet of toilet paper. He looks furious.

     “Idiot,” he mutters.

     “Wha-what? I didn’t do anything! You’re the one who got yourself fucking drunk!”

     Levi grabs my shoulder, yelling in my face, “Look how fucking dirty you got me!”

     He points to the mess of dried cum on his upper body, “How could you have let me sleep with your load poured on top of me?!”

     I roll my eyes, “That’s your semen. Mine’s inside you.”

     He scoffs, “Oh, no. I cleaned that out long ago. So filthy.”

     My head pounds and last night’s dinner starts making its way up, “Calm down. We doth drank way too much spunch last night. Go cool down somewhere.” 

     “Yeah, right. I’m washing the bedding,” he storms out.

     I don’t have time to contemplate the beauty of his ass this morning before I hurl everything from my stomach into the toilet.

~

     After a nice shower and breakfast, we are watching some more Doctor Who. Cuddling, even, because Levi has forgotten why he was mad at me earlier. I was right: he just needed to cool down.

     I pull up Facebook on my phone because I am desperate to see posts by my idiotic, hangovered friends. Probably Jean and some random horse photos of Armin chastising us.

     And then I see it.

     The only notification I have, and it’s glaring at me in the eyes.

     I press on it, taking me to the full post.

     A video.

     Of me. And Levi.

     Kissing.

     I don’t need to watch it; I know exactly when it was videotaped. Then I check the comments.

     They’re not what I expected.

 

     When I finish reading the most recent comment, my heart is jumping in my throat.

     Everyone…cares?

 

     Reiner’s question hits me really hard.

     Why are we together?

     I shut off my phone, running away from everyone because I don’t have an answer.

     “Aren’t you going to answer Braun?”

     I turn my head and notice that Levi has been reading along, probably from the beginning. His expression is indifferent.

     I blink and look away, giving an excuse, “Nah. I’ll answer later. I’m still kinda tired.”

     He doesn’t believe me. His eyebrows scrunch together, creating a sour expression on Levi.

     “Why are we together, Eren?” he asks, gripping onto my hand, “Why do you like me?”

     He leans further into me, burying his head in the crook of my neck, wrapping an arm around my waist.

     I am silent as a mouse. Words just aren’t coming easily to me today. I try to end the conversation by staying quiet, tugging at Levi’s undercut’s super short strands, but he doesn’t want it to stop there.

     Come on, Eren. It can’t be that hard…” he breathes on my neck, “I love you so much. I think we’re together because…”

     His words trail off.

     “Because…”

     Now it is Levi who is speechless. He is realizing it too.

     We don’t know why we are a couple.

     Our teacher-student relationship started out horribly rocky—filled with failed tests and impossible punishments. How did we go from that to such an amazingly romantic relationship?

     The only thing that comes to mind is that one Wednesday when Levi grabbed me by the collar and later kissed me.

     “Levi…what were you thinking when you looked me over that day you first kissed me?”

     “Which day?” he sighs against my skin.

     “The day you made me scrub the boy’s bathroom.”

     “Ah, that day,” he chuckles lightly, “I was thinking…that…”

     He pauses and looks up at me, eyes wide.

     “What is it?” I venture, holding his hands in mine.

     “I…saw you in some sort of dream the night before that day. I didn’t understand it then, but now I do.

     “Titans, Eren. Millions of them. I don’t know how, but we were fighting them. You and me and some others. We were far outnumbered, but somehow we killed large numbers of them. I killed so many of them. It was horrifyingly brutal.

     “But then…” Levi’s voice is starting to crack, “You went to fight one, swinging on these bungee cord-ish things, and one of them ran up in your blind spot. It…it took a huge bite out of your chest; you barely escaped being completely eaten, but that was enough…”

     Single tears slip down his cheeks and I embrace him, but he continues, “You fell…down…all the way down…so far down…I couldn’t stop you…I stopped everything I was doing and swung down to catch you…I held you in my arms—at least, what was left of you..You were quickly becoming cold, blood sputtered from you everywhere…

     “I remembered this then…mainly because of your last words…” Levi closes his eyes, holding my cheeks in his palms, “You said ‘Save me, Levi Heichou.’”

     And he completely breaks down in my arms. This one dream—nightmare—has traumatized my boyfriend so badly that it brings him to the same tears he resorts to when talking about his childhood in abuse and neglect.

     I completely understand him. He took interest in me that day because he thought his dreams were telling him something.

     Which they were, of course.

     They were telling him to hold me, treasure me, protect me so something like that would never come to be. When he witnessed that horrific nightmare, he felt some sort of connection to me, a random student at the time.

     From there, he must have realized that he was falling in love. Just as I did. I started finding new things to like about him, and I still do.

     I just love him so much.

     I hold Levi tightly to my chest, allowing him to let his usually bottled feelings out. I turn my phone back on to answer Reiner, finally.

 

     I smile for two reasons, the other being the light snores I begin to hear from the man in my embrace. I gently lit him down on the couch and put a light blanket over him, kissing his cheekbone.

     Then I do something that should’ve been done a long time ago.

     I go through my Facebook settings and change my status for the better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys, im writing the LAST chapter on paper. im cryinngggg


	21. All I Can Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which it is Christmas, Levi's birthday, and there is an unwanted guest in Levi's apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love levi too much :3

     Since then, not too much has changed, really. Jean still taunts me like the Horseface he is, Connie still makes dirty jokes, Reiner and Bertholdt still suck each other’s face off during lunch. But now my friends see the pictures and statuses I post on Facebook with my adorable boyfriend, making sure the settings are adjusted so that only certain friends can see, not that I have that many to show anyways.

     The single big thing that has changes is Mikasa. A few days after Halloween—in which Jean, Marco, and I all changed our relationship statuses upon coming out—Mikasa confessed to me the secret of hers that Ms. Fauster blackmailed her with: she and Annie have been dating. Which I knew, by the way, but I didn’t tell her so; I tried to act surprised. It kinda worked. Either way, we’re both very gay and also agreed not to get in the way of each other’s love life, “as long as the sex was safe,” Mikasa conditioned.

~

     “Happy Birthday, darling,” I kiss my boyfriend on the temple, placing a haphazardly-wrapped box in his hands.

     “Thanks.”

     It is December 25th and I have just entered Levi’s apartment, which is decked out in the holiday spirit. Most likely by Ms. Hanji.

     “And Merry Christmas!” I hold a piece of mistletoe above our heads and press my lips to his plush ones, dropping the plant into his hands.

     I pull back and he had turned bright vermillion, a color I have had yet to see paint his cheeks. But he blushes all the time—what’s different?

     I hear something, and he ushers us out of his apartment immediately, shutting the door behind him. Looking away, he inanely brushes a hand through his hair, accidentally pulling out the loose hairband that held back his now-long-hair.

     “Something wrong?” I pick the band up, neatly brushing his hair with my fingers back into a ponytail.

     “…Erwin’s here. He came to visit because it’s my birthday. I tried to get him out before you arrived, but things didn’t happen that way…” Levi taps his foot in annoyance, “And he already spilled fucking coffee on my nice white rug…”

     I scoff, “Doesn’t make him seem all that great…”

     “Don’t say that about him!” Levi cuts me off, but then rubs the back of his neck, “I mean, he’s the principal, you idiot. Don’t disrespect.”

     I raise an eyebrow, “And you’re my teacher, but that doesn’t keep me from fucking you hard into the bed every night.”

     His blush comes back, “It’s not…every night…”

     I laugh good-naturedly, but my joy is cut short.

     “What’s going on out here?” Principal Erwin opens the door, glancing at Levi first, but letting his gaze settle on me, “Why, if it isn’t Eren Jäeger…What brings you here?”

     I blink quickly, looking over at Levi, who has put on this figurative mask he only wears at school, “You idiot. What else? He needs my tutoring if he wants to pass my class. I can be selfless sometimes, you know.”

     Principal Erwin gives a booming laugh, “Oh, of course! How positively sweet of you, my goodness!”

     “Yeah, yeah,” my boyfriend mutters, stepping on a stool to tape the mistletoe onto the doorframe, “Get in here, Jäeger, and get the textbook out from the old videotape player cupboard next to the fish. Oh, and feed him, please.”

     I nod, “Of course, Mr. Heichou, sir. Thank you for letting me in.”

     How weird. I have put on my own act, going about to do everything Levi has asked for while he stays in the doorway with our principal. When I finish sprinkling in Roger’s fish food, I hear words that bring that ounce of jealousy back from the dusty corner where it should’ve stayed.

     “Levi, you’re under the mistletoe~”

     “Come on, Erwin. Be mature; Jäeger can hear you…”

     “Oh, I’m sure he won’t mind. He’s great friends with Braun and Hoover, and we both know how open they are…”

     I expect Levi to answer back with a “Still no” or some other excuse, but silence ensues. I look over at the entryway where Principal Erwin is kissing my boyfriend under the mistletoe.

     My face is hot with envy, burning with green jealousy. Those lips belong to me and only me. Why do I have to endure this?

     I clear my throat quite loudly, thumping down on the couch and opening the textbook to a random page.

     I can hear the loud smack of their wet lips as one of them pulls away. Oh God, he gave Levi tongue—disgusting!

     Even from my seat, I can hear Principal Erwin’s deep voice murmur, “Will you go to Maria and Sina’s with me tonight?”

     “Erwin…you know that I’m not planning on restarting our relationship again anytime soon, right?” Levi grumbles, obviously peeved.

     “But still…you seem so lonely sometimes…”

     I grit my teeth and ball my fists.

     Levi scoffs, “I have my pets as company. Shove off it.”

     “Sure, but…” Principal Erwin lowers his voice to a level he thinks I cannot hear, “they cannot satisfy your insatiable sex drive, Levi~”

     That’s it!

     I get up and storm to the doorway.

     “I’m sorry, Principal Smith,” I speak in the most polite tone I can manage, which almost surprises Levi, “but I could not help overhearing how much you are prying into Mr. Heichou’s personal life. If I were him, I wouldn’t wish for you to be doing so. Now, I would like to get this study session on the road; Mikasa wants me back by four to help set up for our Christmas party. Not to be rude at all, but could you please leave us?”

     Principal Erwin chuckles, stepping outside, “You are right, Mr. Jäeger, I have said perhaps too much. I will take my leave. Oh, lately, I have noticed your improving academic performance. Keep up the good work!”

     He starts his way down the stairs and I call after him, “I’ll make sure to!”

     As soon as he is out of earshot, I lock the apartment door and take Levi into my arms tightly.

     “I wanted to slap him so hard…” I growl, “He was horrible.”

     Levi breathes out, “It wasn’t that bad…”

     I draw back and look at him, surprised, “Really?!”

     He shrugs, “What can I do? I’ve been lying to him for the past four months. Friends don’t do that.”

     “‘Friends’ don’t French kiss under the mistletoe even though one of their real lovers is watching!”

     Levi winces, “Don’t do this to me…I refused his date; isn’t that good enough for you?”

     I pout, “No.”

     He glares at me, and then huffs in frustration, pulling a handkerchief from his pocket. He wipes his lips and tongue, cringing in disgust, tossing the cloth to the side. Levi puts his arms around my neck, “Come ‘ere.”

     I give in; there’s no real reason not to. I rest one palm on the small of his back and press the other at the nape of his neck, leaning down to give him a big, sloppy kiss. I can’t taste anything different on his tongue; there is no trace of Principal Erwin—it’s like he was never here.

     He pulls away shortly, leading me back to the couch. I plop down, taking up the Precalc textbook, “So, study session?”

     “No, stupid,” Levi pushes it out of my hands and replaces it with a medium-sized box, “I’m really sorry for earlier, okay? Merry Christmas…”

     I smile, trying to push the green demon back into its disgusting cage. I open the box and—whaddyaknow—green is staring me in the face. A matching set of a forest green, crocheted hat and scarf.

     “Did Ms. Hanji make these?”

     Levi blushes, shaking his head, “I did.”

     I grin, taken aback by the lengths he must’ve gone through to make them, “That makes ‘em a million times better.”

     I wrap my arm around his waist snugly, poking at the poorly-wrapped package still in his hands, “I think you should open that, birthday boy. So, how old are you?”

     Levi scoffs, tearing up the package, “Like I’d ever tell you. Only a hint: I’m young.”

     “Nah, you’re ancient.”

     He punches my shoulder, and I rub it in real pain. Jeez, he can punch!

     He looks at the gift in his hands: a circular tin covered with heart stickers.

     “Uhh…thanks?”

     I chuckle, “Open it up.”

     When he lifts the lid off, his obsidian eyes light up like lightbulbs.

     “OhmyGod you got us tickets!” Levi picks them up excitedly, “And they’re for Ariana Grande!!”

     As he drowns in his happiness, I prod his shoulder, “Come on. There’s more.”

     He smirks, “I know.”

     After setting the tickets aside, he sees the tea bags surrounding the middle, in which a giant, me-made Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup, wrapped in foil, occupies the space. I lift it out for him so he can see the last gift I put in the tin: a packet of a four page story and a Shakespearean sonnet together.

     Levi peruses the pages, “You wrote me something?”

     I smile, “I had an extra credit assignment to type up a piece about someone who is really important to me. I was gonna do Armin or Ms. Fauster—not Mikasa though, I’ve already written about her—but I decided to write about you. Now, that story became so affectionate and personal that I decided not to turn it in and instead give it to you. The last page is a sonnet I wrote as homework, but nobody could figure out who it was written about. I figured you would like to read them.”

     I give him the time to do so, being proud of my own work. He finished the sonnet first, smirks, and then completes the four-page story, blushing.

     “Eren…When you said personal…I didn’t know you meant this personal…”

     All I can do is laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will upload the story and sonnet once i have written them lol  
> p.s. im sorry erwin will be a douche for much of the story im sorry erwin fannnssss!!  
> i personally love erwin, and am okay with eruri, so im not hating, i just need that monkey wrench in eren and levi's perfect love life


	22. Merry Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Eren and Levi attend two Christmas parties, briefly, and Inja is so innocent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys its spring break so i hope to update some more! only 8 more chapters after this one!  
> and some more of 'i will find you' of course

    Levi and I are making short appearances at two different Christmas parties—Jean and Marco’s, and Wandrosette Orphanages’—as part of his birthday date.

    We visit Jean’s house first.

    “Welcome back!” Jean’s mom answers the door almost at the same time as I ring the bell, “Mr. Heichou and…Eren? That how you say it?”

    I nod and she quickly ushers us inside.

    Jean’s house smells of gingerbread and cinnamon, chestnuts roasting in the oven, the lone pine tree I’m sure Marco decorated with his boyfriend. There is tinsel everywhere; wreaths pinned up on the doors, mistletoe bundles hung here and there. In fact, when we walk in, those two dorks are madly making out under some in the kitchen doorway.

    “You two!” Mrs. Kirstein yells, “Get a room!”

    I am not surprised at her command; that’s just the kind of person she is.

    Levi tugs my hand, reminding me that he still exists, “What are we doing here?”

    I snicker, “Jean? Levi wants to know—”

    “I gotchu,” the horseface encircles an arms about his mate’s waist, “Come into the kitchen.”

    On the table is Levi’s birthday present, one I obviously blackmailed Jean into arranging: a tin of homemade gingerbread man cookies from Jean’s mom, some Mr. Clean magic erasers from Marco, and a small box of condoms—from Jean, no doubt.

    “Merry Christmas, guys. And happy birthday, Mr. Heichou!” Marco smiles sweetly, handing Levi a bag to put his gifts into.

    “Thank you,” he puts the cookie tin into the bag, and the cleaning supplies, but looks at me with an eyebrow raised when he drops the condoms inside.

    “Probably Jean’s idea,” I whisper, “He likes to joke around—”

    “Gosh, Eren~” the horse leans on my shoulder, “It’s not like I can’t smell sex on you during homeroom. Surely it’s from early morning frick-fracking with Mr. Heichou here, am I right?”

    Levi blushes and I do too, even though I have never came to school smelling like that. Okay, maybe one time.

    “Whatever. Thanks anyways,” Levi turns towards me, “Doesn’t your sister need us to decorate the rec center by four? It’s three already and it’s a while off.”

    “Yeah, yeah,” I mutter, “We’ll get a move on then. Thanks, Marco, Horseface.”

    “Hey!” Jean retorts.

    “Fine, fine. Only because it’s Christmas...Jean,” I smirk.

    We wave goodbye to Jean’s mom, who gives us each a piece of her amazing fruit cake to eat on the go.

~

    “It’s upside down, idiot.”

    “Well, you gave it to me this way!” I yell at my sister, flipping the wreath around, “Better?”

    Mikasa shrugs her shoulders, checking her phone and texting someone, probably her girlfriend. I roll my eyes at her lack of attention span for my incompetence as she just strolls away.

    “Eren?”

    I turn to my other side and Levi is standing there with his arms outstretched towards me.

    “Can you lift me up? I can’t reach the top of the doorway to put the mistletoe up,” he pouts, cutely.

    My heart skips a beat, “Of course, honey-bunches.”

    “Oh, please don’t call me that,” he mutters as I lift him up by the waist so he can tack on the plant, and then gently set him down.

    I smirk, “Lookee who’s under the mistletoe…”

    Levi looks up and I dart my eyes around to make sure the kids aren’t around. He sighs, “We are…”

    I link my arms at the small of his back and lift him up to kiss me with those velvety lips of his. I pull back, snickering.

    “So…” I whisper, “Who’s Santa? You did get someone, right?”

    “Calm down…” he pats my shoulder, “I got the perfect idiot for the job.”

~

    “Ho ho ho!” Santa bursts through the doorway, burdened with an impossibly large sack of gifts. All of the children surrounding the Christmas tree run to the jolly man.

    No, wait. Woman.

    It’s Ms. Hanji.

    She’s clad in that signature red suit, with an inflatable belly and all, handing out presents wrapped in green to the kids. She spots Levi and I and winks, noticing how we’re wrapped up in a quilt together on the loveseat. The kids haven’t questioned us yet, even though we’ve been so lovey-dovey, so I’m hoping that they stay caught up in their gifts, allowing the two of us to cuddle in peace.

    Levi looks on, sighing and taking a sip of his hot chocolate. I follow his eyes and watch them settle on the kids, one-by-one. Mine linger on Inja in her festive wheelchair, legs encased in a quilt just like the one warming us up now. Her present in an expensive Barbie doll, which she is presently marrying off to another kid’s Ken. Of course, I’m sure rich little Ms. Hanji bought all of their presents herself.

    She waddles over here in her big red suit, giving me and Levi the last present in the bag.

    “Don’t open that ‘till tonight, when you’re alone in bed,” Ms. Hanji whispers so only we can hear, bouncing her eyebrows.

    I blush, and Levi clears his throat, pulling the covers more tightly around us.

    “Go away, Zoë,” he mutters, “Make the kids happier over there. Sing a song or tell a story or something.”

    Ms. Hanji chuckles, bounding back to the kids. I slip my arm around Levi’s shoulders to pull him closer, and he smirks.

    “Thanks for all of this, Eren. Are you sure you don’t want to spend time with the orphans? You could go play with their Hot Wheels.”

    I smile, “It’s your birthday and I don’t want to make you feel lonely. I play with these kids all the time, you know?”

    “I know...but didn’t you say you wanted to hang around with—oh, what’s her name?—the girl in the wheelchair?”

    “Inja, you mean?” I earn a nod from him, “Yeah, but...Wait, where the heck is she?”

    “Here I am!” a little voice perks up from behind our loveseat.

    Levi and I look over our shoulders right into Inja’s joy-filled face. Her grin in knowing and almost mischievous.

    “Hi, hun,” I speak sweetly, “Are you...hiding something?”

    She titters, wheeling herself around the sofa to be in front of us.

    “I see you,” she states simply, with a ring in her voice, immediately thereafter bursting into giggles.

    Levi raises an eyebrow at me. I shrug my shoulders.

    “What’s that?” I question her lightheartedly.

    Her laughter only gets louder, so I get up and start tickling her sides, “Come on, Inja! Out with it!”

    Inja starts choking on her laughter, a grin plastered to her face. She manages, “You..you two—ahaha! You two are so in love! Ahahahaha—stop, Eren!!”

    I give it a rest, thumping down next to my boyfriend, thinking, “Hmm...So she’s noticed...I’m pretty sure she’s the only one, so I don’t feel worried. But...I’m so confused. She doesn’t seem disgusted, or anything…”

    “Inja?” I venture.

    “Yeah?” If her face can possibly get any brighter, it does.

    “You don’t think…” I start, “that we’re weird?”

    Levi scoffs, and I can practically hear the sarcasm dripping from his next words, “Yeah, ‘cuz there’s nothing weird about us, right?”

    “Well…” Inja wheels back and forth in her chair, something she does while she is thinking, “no, you guys aren’t weird. You’re too nice to be weirdos! Plus, weirdos can’t get married!”

    “Married?” I ask, because her question baffles me for two reasons—one being why weirdos can’t get married, “Who said anything about marriage?”

    I look over at Levi, who shrugs and sips his chocolate.

    “Oh!” Inja sways, “I thought you two were married. You can’t be in love and not be married! That’s just how life works!”

    Levi snorts, muffling his laughter in my shoulder, mumbling, “She’s too cute…”

    I grin, “Inja, sweet, Uncle Levi and Eren aren’t married. But...yes, we are very much in love…”

    “Aww, how sweet!” she chirps, “Well, when you do get married, I shall bless the wedding!”

    And then she’s gone, leaving a trail of questions in her midst. Questions I’m not sure I have the answers to.

    “Levi?” I look down as he wraps the quilt tighter around us.

    “Hm?”

    “Are we...gonna get married?” I ask innocently, realizing too late how stupid and vague that question was.

    My boyfriend looks into his empty cup, “I dunno...You need to graduate high school and get into fucking college before I can say anything about marriage...If we last that long…”

    My eyes widen, “Wait, what? Of course we’ll last, Levi! How can you...even think that?”

    He sighs, “Sorry...Just trying not to get my hopes up in order to avoid disappointment.”

    I purse my lips, “Pessimistic on your birthday, even?”

    “I guess…” he chuckles, “Hey, when do you think we can leave? I think Zoë’s got them covered. Plus, I really want to open the present...Uhm, unless you want to stay?”

    “Nah. It’s fine,” I get up and fold the quilt over the back of the loveseat, “Mikasa doesn’t need us here. She’s busy making paper wreaths with the older kids. Just let me say goodnight to Inja.”

    Levi nods, one hand enclosed in mine, the other holding our gift from Ms. Hanji.

    We approach the little girl in the wheelchair from behind, watching as she pretends to be a faerie queen. As soon as my green scarf catches her eye, she turns around and points her pretend scepter at us.

    “Look, girls! Look at the happy couple!”

    The little girls give us mixed expressions about our relationship: some smile, some shrug, others shake their heads vigorously, some fake-barf. And it’s okay. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

    I bend down and kiss Inja’s forehead right before we leave, “Merry Christmas, hun.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i miss this fic already


	23. Happy Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is Christmas birthday sex and one very satisfied Levi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay, I'm catching up!!

    “So apparently... this is a me and you present…” I mutter awkwardly, pulling out the fluffy red dress with white decorations and a matching hat. It’s a woman’s “Santa” dress—a slutty one, I may add—a Santa hat, and black stilettos.

    I would give so much money to see Levi in this outfit right now.

    I clasp my hands together with a pleading, pouting expression on my face, and he can read my mind.

    Levi purses his lips, turning pink, “I’m not putting that on.”  

    I detect a loophole.

    I chuckle, “No, you’re definitely not. I am.”

    “Have fun with that,” he backs up to his bed and crawls into it to sleep.

    My laughter reveals a hint of cunning, “You didn’t let me finish. I’m putting it on...you.”

    His facepalm is a sign that I have finally won.

~

    “Are you done yet?” I call as he has locked himself inside his bathroom to shower quickly.

    “Yeah, yeah, I’m coming…” I can hear him sigh, opening the door and stepping out in nothing but a small towel.

    My mind’s eye automatically makes it as if he is walking in slow motion, the sway of his hips in time with a slow rhythm, the early moonlight reflecting off of his pale skin, an embarrassed blush slowly creeping into his cheeks. He puts his arms up once he stands in front of me and snaps me out of my trance with a few words.

    “Hurry up. My arms are getting tired already and it’s cold.”

    I snicker, draping the dress over his head and getting his hands through the sleeves before slipping the towel from around his waist. I tug the garment straight, and smooth it around his hips, setting the hat atop his head. I have him sit on the edge of the bed so I can kneel in front of him and slip the black stilettos on him, kissing each toe to elicit tiny mewls from him.

    Then I stand back up, “Let’s have a little look-see here…”

    The dress and shoes fit him perfectly; it’s like they were meant for him. The color of the dress and hat accentuate his red lips and cheeks impressively.

    “Not bad,” I smirk, “Perfect Christmas present.”

    Levi shrugs, “I guess. At least it’s warm...Hey, can we eat some chocolate now? The one you made?”

    I chuckle, “You don’t want a little birthday sex first? A handjob or something?”

    “Not yet,” he takes my hand and leads me downstairs.

    It’s cute the way the puffball on the hat bounces as Levi bounds down the stairs, even in stilettos. His long hair stirs as the breeze from the terrace blows through it, and I reach over to kiss a few locks once he has cut the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup into slices in the kitchen.

    “Stop being weird,” he mutters, biting into his slice.

    His eyes light up instantly, “Amazing!”

    “Thanks,” I mumble, biting into mine without thinking, “Sure you don’t want my slice too?”

    Done, he licks his fingers, looking up at me, “Can I?”

    “Of course. It’s your eightieth birthday, not mine.”

    “I’m not that old!” he snatches the chocolate from me and simply gobbles it up.

    Gosh, it’s getting later and later, and I just really want to eat him up.

    So I lift him up bridal style, with no protests today, and carry him to his room. Levi just keeps sucking at his fingers, cleaning them as well as he would a bathroom.

    I set him sitting up in his bed, running my fingers up and down his thighs, asking, “What can I possibly do for the birthday boy?”

    He actually seems to mull it over. I mean, as if we haven’t done everything possible in sex already! Well, except for BDSM really, but I don’t want to harm Levi even though I know how strong he is.

    “I want you to...kiss me,” Levi utters.

    “What?” I question, “Sure I will, but we’ve done that tons of times. It’s not super rare or special...I mean—”

    “I know what you mean, dummy…” he shrugs, “I think it’s kinda special. You know, we haven’t had a pure make-out session in ages.”

    I chuckle, “Cuz you’re always lusting for my dick.”

    “Hmph. Pretentious brat,” Levi scoots onto my lap, straddling my hips. He yanks my scarf off, grips my shirt harshly to pull me closer, and shoves a hand into my long chestnut hair, “Stick your tongue down my throat already.”  

    I snicker, placing my hand behind his head, covering his mouth with mine.

    One kiss turns into two, from two into many. I pulls at his lips with mine, sucking on them to turn them plump and wet with saliva. His tongue tastes of me—my peanut butter chocolate, that is. Levi tugs at bunches of my hair, breath hot enough to melt us together. I thrust my tongue deeper, tasting him, making love to his mouth. He rocks his hips, rutting his groin against my stomach. I hold him down, suddenly flipping us over so that I am on top and his legs are around my waist.

    I break the kiss with a loud, wet smack, and lick the saliva from the corner of my mouth. Levi stares up at me with a heated expression, his erection hot and throbbing strongly on my abs. I reach down to palm his crotch on top of the dress, the velvet smooth on my hand.

    “Ah!” Levi jolts, “The fabric...feels weird. Erennn...Ohh, suck me off~”  

    I smirk, “With much pleasure.”

    I scuttle down so my face is flush with his dick, and then lift the skirt up. His pinkish cock bounces up, pulsing with arousal.

    I nip at the side with my lips, licking my way up the shaft. The smell of Levi’s sweat mixes with the scent of his green apple body wash to create a musky smell that drives me crazy.

    My head bobs up and down on his penis and I hollow out my cheeks. Levi squeals in lust, limbs trembling.

    “E-Eren~...Ah-hah!! I—” he arches his back, “I’m coming!”

    I’d think Levi would grab my head and undulate his hips into my mouth, taking charge, but his fingers are far too occupied with gripping onto the bedsheets near his head. Suddenly, his is overcome by an immense ripple of an orgasm as his seed rushes down my throat so quickly; I am caught off-guard and almost choke, but I swallow most of his cum nonetheless.

    I look up where Levi is coming down, gasping like a fish out of water, eyes shining brightly. He catches my gaze and chuckles sarcastically.

    “I’m not letting you kiss me again until you gargle mouthwash thoroughly…”

    I roll my eyes, “Fine. I won’t kiss you, birthday boy.”

    “I’m a man, you know.”

    “And I’m Beyonce. We both have our dreams, now,” I taunt.

    He sits up slightly, leaning back on his forearms, “You may just have to deal with that alone tonight.”

    Levi’s referring to my hard-on; that, I can tell, “What? You wanna see me jack off?”

    He blushes furiously, sitting upright abruptly, “...Maybe?”

    “Yeah, sure, hun,” I scoot so my back is against the headboard and on a pillow, “Whatever the Santa baby wants.”

    He moves right in front of me—the greatest angle to view from of all. Licking his red lips, he tugs the dress back over his crotch where his dick is growing harder with anticipation.

    I unbuckle my pants and slowly pull out the belt. Then I unbutton my fly, slipping off my slacks sensually. Levi blushes crimson.

    After tugging down my plaid boxers, I reach down to lazily tug at my half-hard cock, letting my fingertips graze over my balls. A spark shoots up my spine and I let out a small grunt to entertain my audience of one.

    Levi bites his lip, shifting his legs, and I know that he is fondling himself too. Then I start jacking off a little more firmly so that I get a nice amount of friction around my shaft. My thoughts can’t wander very much because all lewd fantasies lead to the man in front of me, who is growing red with arousal. What can possibly be better that the real thing?

    My hand slides faster as precum begins to act as lubrication. My breathing speeds up and I notice Levi moving closer to me. He nips at my neck, rendering me speechless. My hips have a mind of their own, thrusting upward as if my enclosed hand is Levi’s ass.

    He grips a hand over mine, simply following my yanks. Levi kisses a trail up from my collarbone to my ear where he starts whispering filthy words between heated breaths.

   “That’s it...Faster...You want to cum, don’t you? Are you feeling your precum leaking out—are you imagining your hand is my delicious asshole?”   

    “Fuck...yes!” I burst out, on the brink of an orgasm.

    “Cum for me, Eren...Cum for your sexy Christmas birthday bitch~” he whines; the hitch in his voice a precursor to his climax.

    I suddenly moan loudly as spasms contort my body. My cock spurts white liquid onto my chest, abs, and our hands; then I go completely limp everywhere, a warm sensation bringing me down.

    “Good boy…” Levi whispers, weak himself as he has just cum a second time, sticky substance coating the thin fingers on both of his hands.

    I reach over and grab a few tissues, wiping our fingers and my torso clean.

    “Go…” Levi breathes hard, finally down from his high, “rinse your mouth so we can fuck some more.”

    I smirk, “My pleasure, Santa baby.”

~

   I’m in an enormous cemetery filled to the brim with cheap rocks, most of them engraved with names as grave markers. Some rocks are empty, nameless; some have two names, as if the deceased were unidentifiable. A few grave markers are actually made of limestone; those hold the center of attention.

    My legs move for me towards one of the nicer graves, and I kneel down, placing a bouquet at the foot of the grave. My hand unconsciously wipes my face, finding liquid dripping down my cheeks. I bury my face in my hands and weep before I can even take a look at who this grave is for.

    But I don’t have to even guess before I choke out the words, “Happy Birthday...Levi...Heichou…” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pardon my smut  
> i wrote this while listening to a blcd compilation of hiroshi kamiya uke...so fitting lol  
> (his moans are very on point)


	24. Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Eren witnesses the worst-case scenario.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i've been gone for a while guys! ap test r over for me now so im back!  
> lots of confusion abt the end of the last chapter...the grave scene was a 'dream'  
> enjoy the climax!

    Nightmares have been plaguing me for a while now. Sometimes Levi’s dead, sometimes I am, other times it’s my friends—but they’re always in that same titan-infested universe. I can’t get away from those bad dreams; I often wake up shrieking my head off. If I’m at WOT, Mikasa comes running into my room to check on me. If I’m at Levi’s, my boyfriend is right there beside me, holding me tightly and comforting me. I do the same for him; he has nightmares too sometimes, and I’m there for him.

    But lately, something had changed.

    A time after Levi’s birthday—a Saturday about halfway into January—I saw something that pulled my little green monster out of its dirty corner. I was on my way to the library to work on a group project when I passed Garnet’s cafe, the restaurant we had our first date in. Well, I couldn’t believe who I saw canoodling in a booth seat by the window: Principal Erwin and my boyfriend!

    I was so fucking furious; I was going to stomp right in there and tear my beautiful Levi away from Mr. Perfect, but then I realized…

    Aren’t I going to get Levi fired if I do that? And me expelled?

    Is our relationship really worth that much?

    See, that’s what’s pissing me off the most. My own thoughts. I don’t want to think that our relationship is worthless, but I have literally no control over my thoughts.

    And it even seems like Levi is starting to sense it too.

    I can tell that he loves me, but as midterms approach, we’re spending less and less time together. While I have been studying hard, Levi has been doing who-knows-what—maybe messing around with the principal, but I don’t really want to call my boyfriend unfaithful.

    Do I?

    They’re friends and all, I mean, of course they should spend time together but...I don’t know. Principal Erwin has been giving me a weird feeling since freshman year. Not really “evil” just...odd.

    I think I’m going crazy. I need a break.

~

    I’m not getting one anytime soon.

    It’s Friday, February 13th. The day of the black cat, broken mirrors, and sidewalk cracks.

    And it’s midterms day.

    The bell schedule is the same, but all classes that require a midterm should have one on this day specifically because today is the last day of the semester and grades must be submitted this weekend, preferably Saturday.

    Saturday is also Valentine’s Day.

    Despite the recent lull in our relationship, I have a night of love planned tomorrow to spark the fire anew.

    Wait, when did that spark go out?

    “Eren Jäeger,” Mr. Hannes takes roll.

    “Here,” I mutter, biting into my hand.

    Jean looks over after he affirms his presence, mouthing the words, “Are you okay?”

    “Not really,” I mouth back. He and I have gotten a little bit more able to tolerate each other ever since we realized that we are part of the same club: the homo one.

    He shakes his head at me, and then whispers, “You’ll be okay,” giving me a hand sign.

    I shrug, getting up because the bell has rung.

~

    It’s lunchtime; my brain is totally fried and I’m not even done yet. I still have a Chem lab to go.

    World History multiple-choice test on mythology, ancient history, and geography—my worst topic; long writing for Ms. Ral’s class on the topic: “Imagine what next semester will be like;” reading and listening passages with questions for German.

    Pre-Calc was the worst. First of all, I obviously hadn’t studied conic sections well enough because the first question was on a hyperbola and I totally blanked out.

    Then, I had to deal with all of Levi’s weirdness.

    It’s been a week and a half since we spent quality time together—ten days since we’ve had sex—and he has changed quite a lot in that little time. He wasn’t staring at me during the midterm like he usually does; he was looking something up on his laptop and writing stuff down. I later found out that it was a chocolate recipe. I rationally believed that it was for me, but Levi acted all panicky and hid the paper when I walked past his desk after class had ended.

    “Keep walking, Jäeger,” he told me, to which I rolled my eyes. Totally weird.

   Now, I’m going back to his class and I just happen to pass Principal Erwin’s office. You’ll never guess who else is in there.

    I stand with my back against the door, listening. Thank goodness no one walks this way during breaks.

    “You idiot,” Levi’s voice travels through the crack in the door, “I was gonna make you chocolate. Now you go and buy me expensive stuff? I don’t even like chocolate.”

    Ha! I would’ve known that, Erwin you idiot. Stop stealing my wife away!

    “Hey, I think you’d like these ones. They have peanut butter in them~” Erwin’s voice rings.

    Damn!

    “Shut up. Happy early Valentine’s Day. Are you done?”

    “No.”

    There is no answer, and I don’t even want to look into the window, although it is now blocked by curtains. Of course the principal is kissing Levi. I sure as hell don’t want him to, but I can’t do anything about it. I expect Levi will be coming out soon after a short...kiss...so I scoot along the wall, away from the door.

    But he doesn’t, and they are speaking again.

    “Erwi—” A low thud sounds, “I have class next period…”

    My eyes widen and my heart pounds in my chest, but I cannot leave.

    “Shh…” Principal Erwin whispers, but the walls are thin, “Lunch just started. Half-an-hour is enough time…”

    They can’t be…

    Moans and groans follow, and it is excruciatingly difficult to stand and listen to them. I slide down and sit on the linoleum, arms encircling my knees to hide the erection that slowly develops from hearing Levi’s sole whines of pleasure.

    “W-wait!” he whimpers and my ears perk up, “D-don’t enter me. I’m not...ready for you yet...I promise—I will be soon!”

    Erwin chuckles, “That’s too bad. Well, I suppose I can wait…”

    I breathe a sigh of relief too early.

    “...We could still do this though…” I hear Levi utter treacherous words.

    “Yes we can…”

    “Ah!”

    I start hearing a rhythmic sound and I don’t know if it is the desk moving or their bodies rubbing against each other, or both.

    More of Levi’s beautiful moans follow, and they bring tears to my eyes. I thought I was the only person who ever got to hear them—the only one who can turn him into an incoherent mess.

    Apparently, I’m wrong.

    The bell rings as soon as I hear the most euphoric sound coming from Levi as he climaxes.

~

    I can’t simply forget what I have just heard and try to focus on a Chem lab, even if Mikasa does the whole thing. First of all, I’m too emotionally distressed.

    Secondly, my dick won’t let me.

    I lock the bathroom stall and sit on the toilet seat. My hard-on strains the crotch of my jeans, so I quickly unbutton and unzip to relieve the excruciating pressure. A sigh escapes my lips, but I cover my mouth, fingers trembling.

    Levi’s voice.

    It was so amazing. I’ve never heard him moan like that ever before. He sounded like he was enjoying it so much, and he wasn’t even being penetrated!

    As Levi’s sounds come back to me, I unconsciously begin stroking my erection, imagining that he is the one doing it.

    How can he enjoy sex better with Erwin than with me? He even told me that I was the best partner he’s ever had!

    God, it’s all fucking Erwin’s fault! He had to be so much more seductive than me—

    Wait, no. It’s can’t be his fault; he doesn’t know that Levi’s taken by me.

    So then it’s Levi’s damn fault for not telling him, and for getting pulled in—

    No, he didn’t do anything. He loved me.

    I think he did.

    So, then, whose fault is it?

    It’s fucking mine.

    “Ah!” my body jolts with an orgasm, my cum dribbling onto my fingers. I should reach over to get toilet paper to clean up with, but my body won’t listen.

    Large tears slowly trail down my cheeks. Sobs are stuck in my throat and my voice hitches. I drop my face into my hands, shoulders shaking.

    So it’s all my fault, huh. Levi lured me in with the littlest bit of bait he had and I totally fell head-over-heels in love with that man. We never made any real promises, so of course he would be fine with other people too. Of course he would be able to climax in another man’s arms.

    “Stupid!” I hit my forehead with the heel of my sticky hand, “I’m such a gullible idiot!”

    No, I’m not. Levi did make promises to me. He did. He just didn’t follow through with them.

    I was right from the beginning. It’s not my fault, not really.

    It’s Levi’s.

    My phone buzzes before I have any more time to think. It is fifteen minutes into fifth period, and my sister is already worried.

    

    I don’t plan on answering her.

    The tears have stopped falling. I’m not one to cry unless it’s important.

    Oh, Levi is so fucking important.

    I just don’t understand why he would allow himself to make impossible promises to me.

    I’m not sure if I really hate him...but I do know that we need a break.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (text should say 1:00 p.m. lol)  
> i think this is the climax...  
> this chapter made me cry a bit writing it. it hurt too much


	25. Fucking Done

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Eren is just fucking done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay! two-in-one!  
> sorry this is very short!

    Only a quarter of fifth period is left when I hear the squeak of the bathroom door opening and multiple loud bangs as stalls are slammed open.

    “Eren! I know you’re in here!”

    It’s my sister. I don’t answer for fear of discovery.

    “My phone GPS locator says you’re here, dipstick!”

    Ah, shit. It’s no use.

    When she reaches my stall, frustrated that it doesn’t open, she bangs on the door loudly.

    “Come on! I already did our lab! Ms. Hanji says if you return by the end of the period, she’ll give you credit!” Mikasa’s pounding slows to a stop, but I realize that she is walking into the next stall.

    I turn my head to the left, looking above the stall wall, and there she is, eyes ablaze, probably standing in a toilet seat.

    “H-hey, Mikasa,” I gulp, “Uh...we can go do that lab now…”

    “Dude, were you even listening to me? I did it already. It was only a flame test lab. No biggie. Very cool,” she seems satisfied, but then she turns on me, “What have you been doing here all period? You never answered my text. What happened?”

    I furrow my brows as the events come back to me; I shake my head in disapproval, “It’s nothing I could really tell anyone. Except maybe Levi…”

    “Well, come on; I’m your sister for crying out loud. You should be able to tell me, rather than that shortstack. You know I still don’t like him all that much.”

    My eyes droop, “Don’t worry. I don’t think you need to worry about him anymore…”

    Shit, I slipped.

    Mikasa’s eyes widen in realization, and then her brows furrow. She pops down out of the next stall and starts knocking on mine, “Come on. Let’s go.”

~

    “Welcome back, sport,” Ms. Hanji pats my shoulder, almost knowingly, “One more period to go, you know.”

    I shrug, “At least season’s over.”

    She gives me a thumbs-up.

    All of a sudden, I am surrounded with the friends who are in my Chem class and they all look concerned, as if they can read my thoughts.

    “It’s okay, Eren,” Krista smiles meekly.

    “Cheer up, punk,” Ymir slings her arm around my shoulders, “Us homos gotta stick together, yanno?”

    “Yeah, same here,” Jean ruffles my hair.

    “Gosh, we’re, like, all homo here,” Reiner bellows.

    “Not Connie and Sasha,” Bertholdt whispers.

    Connie punches Reiner’s shoulder, “Yeah, drag queen! I live for the ladies~”

    “No, dipwad,” Sasha crunches on potato chips, “You live for me.”

    “Ah, right.”

    I smile slightly.

    “Hey, Eren,” Mikasa says, “We may not know what’s going on, but we’re looking out for you. Marco, Annie, and Armin are too, I’m sure!”

    “Yeah, and Mr. Heichou too!” Connie rings in.

    My heart skips a beat at the mention of that name; my chest feels extremely tight. The bell rings and I push away from my inviting friends, running as fast as I can to  the P.E. field where we go when water polo is off-season.

    No one follows me; they all have other sports to attend to.

    And for once in a long time, I just can’t tell them anything.

~

    “What?”

    Levi looks up at me as if he hasn’t done anything wrong, which of course, he has.

    I furrow my eyebrows, “You know what.”

    Levi’s eyes darken, “I sincerely have no idea to what you are referring. If you’ll excuse me, I have a meeting with Principal Erwin.”

    He starts walking away from his desk toward the door, but I manage to catch his wrists and shove him against the whiteboard. He jolts with shock and appears angry.

    “Eren,” he utters icily, “I’m going to be fucking late.”

    “Let him wait. I’m more important, aren’t I?” I lean forward, and he presses back against the board behind him.

    “Yes, you are...What?”

    I sniff, “You smell like sex.”

    Levi scrunches his eyebrows together and rolls his eyes, “We haven’t fucked in days; you’re imagining things.”

    “God, Levi!” my face feels hot with fury, “Why do you have to lie to me?! I heard you two at lunch today! Erwin fucking you hard into his own desk; how disgusting! Who knows, maybe on your free period, you were sucking  his big cock until he blew his load into your throat! And maybe, this has been going on for days—weeks—without my knowledge! What do you have to say for yourself, Levi?!”

    He doesn’t utter a single word. He just stands there, clutching his folder, eyes and mouth wide open. I am waiting for an excuse, a retort, something—anything. He looks to the side, avoiding my gaze.

    I shove off of Levi, backing up in frustration, “So that’s it?”

    Levi adjusts his tie nonchalantly.

    I reach into my shirt and take out the locket from out one-month anniversary. Then I yank it off my neck, breaking the chain, and throw it out his open window.

    “I’m fucking done. We need to break up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> read "I Will Find You" chapter two after you read this one...  
> here you go! http://archiveofourown.org/works/2365469/chapters/8992405


	26. Terrible Burden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Eren is a miserable being.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry guys i've been procrastinating...

    I do five different things that evening that just tear my heart to shreds: I change my relationship status back to single, delete Levi’s number from my phone, rip up the notes he gave me months ago that I kept, delete photos of him and us together; and, lastly, tell Mikasa and Armin what happened.

    We are sitting together on my rug in my bedroom and I already told them what I saw at lunch. Mikasa shakes her head and Armin remains wide-eyed. He scoots over to wrap his arm around my shoulders.

    “Sorry, Eren. I’ve just been too busy in my studies to detect that possibly happening. Honestly, I actually though Mr. Heichou was good for you. I’m really sorry for being wrong,” my best friend, whom I’ve been neglecting in favor of Levi, consoles me.

    Mikasa scoffs, “That bastard. I told you he was no good. You should’ve listened to me, Eren…”

    Her scolding tone angers me, “Dammit Mikasa! You don’t realize how much I love him!”

    My lip quivers so I still it. Mikasa turns red with fury, “Love? Don’t you mean loved? You can’t possibly still have feelings for him after what you witnessed! Eren! You know better than that!”

    I don’t bother shouting, “I know. I just...don’t know if I’m acting too rashly, or something like that…”

    I lean on Armin’s shoulder heavily, “I thought I finally found someone who cares for me deeply, like you guys do, but differently. Now I just...need a bit of time away from him to think for a while. Maybe I made...a mistake, maybe I didn’t. Whatever happened, I hope a little break is all I need...I hope…”

    Armin rubs my shoulder, “You do need a break, Eren. I’m not quite sure your relationship should be continued if Mr. Heichou...uhm, cheated on you with Principal Smith. It’s up to you to decide.”

    Mikasa stands up, “Well, I hope you decide never to be alone with him again. He could still rape you.”

    I release a sigh twice as loud and long as normal, “Mikasaaa...I always topped him.”

    She blushes and covers her ears, stamping out my door.

    I hear Armin chuckle, “That’s Mikasa for you...I’m really sorry for you, Eren, okay?”

    I nod, “I know. Thanks for being here.”

    “No problem,” he squeezes me to him in an almost hug, “Now, you said you needed help with something?”

    I get up and lean over my bed to get a textbook, then sit back down next to Armin and open the brick, “Yeah...Now that I, uhm, broke up with Levi, I’ve lost my math tutor. Can you tutor me, Armin?”

    He smiles and his bright blue eyes twinkle, “Of course I can. Mind you, I might be a but rusty on...logarithms I see you’re learning there, but I’ll try my best!”

    My best friend brings back the smile that ran so far away from me.

~

    It takes me a little while to realize just how much I’ve been neglecting Armin. How could I call someone like him “my best friend” when I didn’t spend any time with him outside of mealtimes? Being with Levi depleted all of the time I could’ve been spending with Armin or any of my other friends.

    Was it really worth it? Was all of that sex, all of those gifts, all of that Doctor Who-watching worth it?

    I don’t know anymore.

~

    Woo-hoo. It’s V-Day, and Saturday.

    And I’m spending it alone, yet again.

    Mikasa sends me to the grocery store to buy supplies for WOT for the week, so I catch the bus to get there, a long list of groceries trailing out of my back pocket. I stare out the bus window wistfully until I realize that I have missed my stop and have to walk a block or so in the opposite direction.

    I feel so lost today.

    There are a plethora of lovey-dovey couples on the sidewalks and in the supermarket, mocking me without knowing so. I hold my horses for the time being since it’s partly my fault that I’m single.

    Wait, what?

    No. It’s not my fault, right?

    Breath, Jäeger, breathe. Don’t worry about this right now. Mikasa has sent you on an important mission and you need to focus on it.

    Okay. Item number one: milk.

    I pass through the candy aisle to get to the fridges, and a certain sweet catches my eye.

    I put a few for myself in my basket, intending to buy them with my own money. It seems that I’ve grown quite fond of these peanut butter cups since—

    No, stop. Quit thinking about him.

    Why, oh why, does everything remind me of him?

~

    One hundred and some dollars later, my shopping trip is over. Great, because it’s lunchtime. I drag my tired ass over to the nearest fast food restaurant and wait in a long line to order.

    Tapping my foot in sync with the song playing from the speakers—a remix of Demi Lovato’s “Give Your Heart a Break,”—I check my texts and, sure enough, there is an urgent message from my sister.

****  


    Hold up. Levi...apologized? Does that mean...he still loves me?

    Wait, no. That train left the station ages ago. What the hell could he have possibly said that could be considered an apology? “I’m sorry for suddenly fucking my college friend who I once was in love with and dated?” “I’m sorry for leading you on to thinking that we were in love?”

    My head feels like it’s going to implode. If I don’t stop angering myself over Levi-goddamned-Heichou, I’m gonna blow up!

    “Ah, Eren?”

    A calm voice comes from behind me and I am obliged to turn to face the speaker with a mask on.

    It is Freckled Jesus and his homo horse.

    “Hi…” I mutter, glancing at the protective arm Jean has around his boyfriend, “What’s up?”

    “Um, well…” Marco starts, peeling out of Jean’s embrace in favor of hugging me, “Jean told me about...you know...and I’m just really sorry for you…”

    I wrap my arms slowly around the taller boy, and I feel another arm around my shoulders, “Yeah, Eren. Sorry Heichou’s such a dipwad. You deserve better though.”

    I smile slightly and nod, and then both of them retreat.

    “Next,” the cashier rumbles.

~

    “An-and coach was giving us a lecture,” Jean can barely manage between snorts, “so no one was making a single sound—pfft—and then Connie fucking let one rip so loud that the cheerleaders heard it from all the way across the blacktop!”

    The three of us are guffawing with laughter, hoping to not choke on our burger lunches.

    “But that’s not even the best part!” Jean bites into his hamburger, “Sahsha vas at da dop ob da pyrmid”—gulp—”and she farted even louder than Connie!! The pyramid toppled faster than coffee goes through my mom!”

    “Jean!” Marco scolds, dissolved into chuckles himself, “Hey, Eren, we should play twenty questions!”

    I blink quickly, “I dunno…”

    Marco is staring at me with Bambi eyes and I cannot resist.

    “Sure. You go first.”

    He smiles, “Okay. Uh...favorite color?”

    Jean scoffs, “Dude, I come up with way better questions…”

    I flick Jean’s forehead, “It’s fine. My favorite color is sunburnt orange.”

    Jean starts, “The fuck is sunburnt—?” but Marco shuts him up, “That’s cool. Mine is tan, like this guy’s hair.”

    The horseface smiles at his boyfriend, “Well, thanks. My favorite color is crimson, like Mikasa’s scarf.”

    Marco pouts like he’s jealous.

    “I-I mean like your heart, Marco!” Jean covers up lamely.

    “Smooth…” I mutter sarcastically, “My turn...Who’s louder? You know~”

    Marco blushes like a tomato, “Y-yeah...uhm, I am...I think…”

    Jean chuckles, “He is.”

    I smile, “Makes sense.”

    “It’s not like I have any control!” Marco bursts, “Jean’s just so…”

    He doesn’t finish. Then I mutter something without thinking.

    “Levi definitely screams the loudest…”

    I glance at their faces and their mouths are agape.

    Then I finally realize what I just said.

    “Oh, uhm…” I blush, “S-sorry…”

    I stand up abruptly, hiding my face with my lengthening hair, “I should go.”

    I grab my lunch and rush out before I rage or break into tears. Jean and Marco don’t need to be bothered by my terrible burden.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once you have finished this chapter, go read I Will Find You chapter 3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/2365469/chapters/9659121


	27. Damn Straight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Eren makes two big mistakes and Armin gives him a well-earned lecture.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you read this, please read I Will Find You chapter 3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/2365469/chapters/9659121

    “Eren?” Krista whispers.

    “Hm?”

    “There’s a puddle of drool on your desk…”

     I look down, and there is a big one. Then I look up, and Mr. Heichou is glaring flaming daggers at me from the board. He is on me faster than a cheetah.

     “Jäeger! You have three seconds to clean this mess up, and then you will march yourself to the boys’ restroom down the hall and clean all of the toilets and urinals with this toothbrush or I swear I will give you a zero on your next quiz!” he seethes.

     Anger burns in my veins, “You can’t do that!”

     “Try me,” he utters, shoving a container of disinfecting wipes into my hands.

     I stand up abruptly and stare him down. His piercing eyes get the better of me, so I sloppily wipe up the drool. He conks me on the head and yells that I do a better job, so I do the best I can.

     “Done! Can we actually learn now?”

     Mr. Heichou forces the toothbrush into my left hand, “Out. Now.”

     I grind my teeth and stamp out the door, yelling, “You stupid fucking asshole!”

     The last thing I witness is Mr. Heichou jolting at my words, and then grimacing in disgust.

~

     As I scrub a filthy urinal—how the hell do these things get so nasty?—I reminisce on the present.

     Well, things have gotten slightly better and slightly worse. Armin is an incredible tutor; so much better than Mr. Heichou ever was. I’ve been acing most of my Pre-Calc quizzes. He’s such a great guy too; my birthday is coming up, and he is planning to take me to Disneyland! Then again, Mikasa might want to tag along with Annie, and boy would that be awkward. Jean and Marco have taken me and Armin to karaoke multiple times, and it’s becoming a favorite pastime of ours!

     Anyways, the old “Levi” is dead to me and is again Mr. Heichou, my least favorite slut of a math teacher. I’ve flushed any fond memories I have of him down the drain as best I can, hoping that nothing triggers them to come crawling back up from their watery grave. I’m way over my pitiful grieving stage and have quickly picked up the pieces from where I left off.

     Other than as a math teacher, I don’t and will not ever need him in my life again.

     It’s probably too late for me to realize how wrong I am.

~

     It happens on a Saturday two days before my birthday, which I’ve actually been looking forward to since I get to go out with Armin.

     Speaking of which, lately I’ve become quite attached to him, even more so that we used to be. Armin’s like my guardian angel who has saved me from both depression and academic failure.

     I’m suddenly feeling a strange attraction to him.

     We’re sitting on the rug in my bedroom, studying Pre-Calc, having already eaten a large dinner. He is perusing over my textbook, obviously reviewing the topic to avoid teaching it incorrectly, while I have already started on my homework. I could say that I feel bad for taking Armin away from his own studies, but then I’d be lying to myself because I know that he doesn’t mind my being a bit selfish.

     “Okay, Eren!” he starts the lesson, and I tune his voice out immediately for little conscious reason. I watch his small mouth form the words of his speech as his long eyelashes flutter with each blink. He once runs a hand through his blond hair, which rearrange itself perfectly in the style it was in five seconds ago.

     Armin scoots closer to me and I can hear him again, “Do you understand?”

     “Hm?” I blink quickly, “Oh, sure, yeah. Euler’s number and whatever…”

     “Uhm...We’re talking about conic sections. Are you sure you’re paying attention?” he moves even closer and I can instantly detect the flowery aroma wafting from his newly washed hair.

     Heat starts building up in my stomach and my heart begins to race; Armin’s never gotten this close to me, and boy, does he smell good.

     Then he backs up nonchalantly as if realizing what an oaf I am, muttering, “Eren~ You look sweaty...Are you okay?”

     “...‘m fine,” I mumble, taking hold of Armin’s tiny wrist. My breathing is heavy when I lift myself up, and topple him over. The warmth in my gut is intense, but I don’t know exactly why.

     “Eren…” he whispers, struggling against the grip I have on his arm, pushing upwards with the other, “What’s wrong?”

     Then his eyes get really wide.

     “Dude! Eren! I do not like you like that! Please get off of me!” he strains.

     I unconsciously lick my lips, not listening to his pleas. The awkward throbbing in my pants replaces the logical thought process of my brain as I lick Armin’s exposed collarbone and bite the side of his neck.

     “Dammit, Eren! Quit it!!” he shrieks not loud enough for Mikasa to hear, shaking in terror.

     I slide my lips upward to suck on his soft earlobes, and the whimpers he makes are so much like Levi’s.

     Just like Levi.

     That name sends shivers throughout my body, and the empty mindset I am presently in prevents me from recognizing whose name it really is.

     “Levi…” I breathe out into the pink ear in front of me. I run my fingers through the silky hair and kiss it.

     Then I lift up to view his blushing face.

     Suddenly, searing pain slices my cheek and I am jolted out of my horny delusion.

     Armin is quivering, pushing me off and sitting up, “Eren! What the heck is wrong with you?!”

     I just stare at the blond boy in front of me, realizing what I just did to him, and the worse things I could have done. My mind is a blank and I am in awe.

     I’m only using Armin as Levi’s substitute.

     “Eren…” his voice calls, “Eren!”

     Whose voice?

     I can’t even distinguish between them anymore. Obviously Levi’s voice is far deeper than Armin’s, but that doesn’t matter.

     I can’t tell the difference when I need to.

     “Eren, you’re...crying…”

     My vision is blurry and all I can see is Armin’s shock of blond hair.

     “Sorry, sorry, sorry…” words spill from my blubbering mouth and the heavy tears drip down my cheeks. Armin says more but I cannot comprehend.

     Until one name catches my attention.

     I jolt, blinking my tears away, “Wait...S-say that again…”

     Armin looks me straight in the face, “You called me Levi. You’ve never...Eren, don’t you realize how much you need him? You’re being ridiculously difficult—”

     “I am?” my face heats up as my body has cooled down, “Was I the one who cheated on my boyfriend?”

     “You were damn near about to just now,” he scoffs.

     “He’s not my boyfriend anymore! I hate him for what he did—”

     “Eren. he has tried time and time again to apologize and seek forgiveness.”

     “He wouldn’t need to say sorry if he just didn’t do it in the first place!” I am flaming mad.

     Armin grits his teeth, “I’ve been watching you two since day one. Levi has never stopped looking at you. Only you. There was never any other—and there still isn’t! I witnessed him slap Principal Smith so hard the other day that there was blood.”

     “Could’ve been about something else,” I spit.

     “No. It wasn’t. I heard Levi say ‘Look what you’ve done. You’ve ruined me. That’s why he doesn’t talk to me anymore; you’ve tarnished us;’ I can swear that he was referring to you.”

     My heart skips a beat, but I can’t tell if it’s in elation or fear.

     “Th-there’s no way,” I manage.

     “There is. You don’t realize it, Eren, but I can see it clearly. Neither you, nor Mr. Heichou, has been himself lately. I see it mostly during Calc reviews, when I watch him stare off into space rather than take out notes or open a powerpoint. He is absolutely depressed—you seriously haven’t noticed the bags under his eyes, his sallow complexion, and the dimness of his once fiery eyes?! For God’s sake, Eren…” he can’t speak anymore; he gets up and dashes for the door.

     But a few important words escape his lips before he leaves.

     “You need him, and he sure as hell needs you. Get it damn straight in your head already!”

     I’m...not even sure anymore…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> after you read this, go read I Will Find You chapter 4, the last of that fic: http://archiveofourown.org/works/2365469/chapters/9867536


	28. Not Planning on Letting Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Eren realizes his feelings for Levi, again, and something dramatic takes place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please make sure you have finished "I WIll Find You" before you read this chapter :)

    “Goddammit, Erwin!” he slams the school phone on the receiver with a loud bang, cursing and thumping down on his chair with his head in his hands.

    I hide when he looks toward the open classroom door where I was standing. It is after sixth period and I’ve simply passed his classroom door on my way out as pure coincidence.

    Yeah, right.

    I slide down along the wall and hug my knees, still listening through the open door at my left.

    “Zoë,” I hear him mutter, I guess through his cellphone, “I need to get out of here. It’s already been a month and a half; yet nothing good has happened. Erwin’s still a fucking asshole, constantly harassing me as if I’m a call girl coming onto him—which I’m not! And Eren…”

    My heart flutters when he softly utters my name. I push upwards, standing back against the wall.

    “Eren hates me. Still. I...don’t blame him; I’d hate myself if I was him. But...I can’t move on, Zoë…”

    That’s it. I’m going to march right into his classroom and tell him…

    Tell him what? That I don’t hate him? That I still love him? That we’re better off together than apart, like Armin said?

    I’m still not sure myself. I do despise Levi for fucking another. Yet it seems a bit like he was being violated without consent, now that I examine the evidence. But he still didn’t stop…

    Do I still love him? Did I ever love him?

    What does it even feel like to know that you’re in love?

    These questions cloud my brain, and I cannot think straight, nor will my body do what I want it to. A few seconds later, the clouds grow sparse and I am about to step into the doorway, into his line of vision.

    My foot freezes at his next words.

    “I’m going to quit. I need to leave this city; it hold too many...bad memories. Wish me luck on finding a well-paying job…” I can tell that he hangs up.

    It would be so easy for me to prevent him from doing this. So easy. All I would have to do is take another step forward—not even, I just have to shout something. Something—anything: his name, “Stop!”, “No!”, “Don’t!”

    Anything I can do in this moment will surely prevent him from leaving.

    So why am I running in the opposite direction?

~

    I trudge home with a dark cloud hanging over my head, literally. The weather looks terrible. Unanswered questions rain on me, and I just want a getaway.

    Oh, look. WOC. What a coincidence.

    “Eren!!” Inja speeds her wheelchair into my legs as soon as I enter the children’s orphanage. I lift her gently out of her chair and onto my shoulders, and she laughs hysterically.

    “Hi, honey! How have you been?” I smile, something I haven’t done all day.

    “Great! I just had a slice of cake for my birthday!” she beams, sporting a chocolatey smile.

    Oh, it’s her birthday. Right.

    It’s my birthday, too. And what an amazing way to spend it.

    “Here, Eren!” Inja shoves a bit of cake into my mouth from who-knows-where, “Happy Birthday to me and you! See, I remembered!”

    “Happy Birthday to us,” my grin grows wider and I finally find myself somewhere I belong today.

    “Eren?” she asks, playing with my hair, “Where’s your wife? The one with the scary eyes?”

    My smile droops, “He’s...not with me right now…”

    “Oh, sure he is! He’s right here,” she points to my heart, which thumps erratically.

    I nod, “I guess he is…”

    He can’t leave.

    “Sorry, Inja,” I put her down in her wheelchair gently, “I have to go find him.”

    “Oh, yeah! Please do! Happy...uh...eighteenth?” she grins.

    “Yeah…” I smile, rushing out.

    I need to go back. Back to school. Oh, God, I hope he’s still there. Surely he is; he doesn’t usually leave right away after school. He has things to do there. Crap, no. If he’s...quitting...then he won’t do much, will he? Fuck, he seemed like he was just about to leave for his apartment. He’s not going to be in his classroom.

    Well, he isn’t.

    He must be at home. His apartment. I make a beeline in the direction, having previously committed the way there to memory. But then my phone vibrates.

    It’s Mikasa calling.

    “Yeah?”

    “Where the hell are you? It’s past your curfew,” she spits.

    It’s only 4:45. I don’t understand what kind of curfew she’s putting on me, but I guess I better get home. I don’t want to face her wrath.

    I sigh, “I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

    I’m sure he’s not leaving tonight.

    Right?  
~

    “Ms. Fauster?” I am eating my dinner a bit late since I shut myself up in my room for a while after an argument with Mikasa.

    “Hm?” the nice caretaker hums, taking a seat across from me to cut some coupons.

    I gulp, “Do you know...what it feels like to know that you’re in love?”

    She blinks in a bit of confusion, but keeps cutting, “Ah, Eren...You are such a naïve child...I can’t tell you what it feels like to fall in love—you have to figure that out for yourself…”

    I do? Of course I do. Why didn’t I think of that before?

    I smile, looking down at my stew, “Thanks.”

    My phone buzzes in my pocket. I take it out and see that Ms. Hanji has texted me.

    Adrenaline of fear rushes throughout my body and my heart thrums in my chest.

    “He’s dead?” I say aloud, without realizing.

    Ms. Fauster catches my words, “Who’s dead?”

    I look up at her, “L-Levi...I have to go. Please don’t tell Mikasa that I’ve gone to see him.”

    The last thing I see before I bound out the door into the rain with an umbrella in my hand is Ms. Fauster’s knowing smile.

~

    I run as fast as my legs and the streetlights will permit. Anxiety is getting to me as I am feeling out of breath and my heart is a drum. Sweat drips down my temples in spite of the cool breeze that the rain has brought.

    Levi’s...dead?

    I feel extremely nauseous. Why is he dead? Who would kill him? Or did he get really sick>

    Or...did he kill himself?

    That possibility nearly brings tears to my eyes.He could have been so utterly depressed...because of what? Erwin? His job?

    Me?

    It’s definitely my fault. No matter what actually killed him, it’s all my fault.

    Why did I leave him alone?

    An immense gust of wind blows my umbrella almost out of my hands. I am relieved when it doesn’t, but the frame cracks and the umbrella is forced inside out. I try fixing it, but the cloth tears and the metal snaps. Cheap, crappy umbrella.

    I toss it to the side without a care in the world; I can always buy another one. I take off my uniform jacket and hold it over my head as a makeshift umbrella. The rain still soaks through, wetting me from head to toe.

    My thoughts wander from the horrible scene I am about to witness to my feelings for Levi.

    Armin was right. I do need him. This tight feeling in my chest is a sense of loss—terrible, pure loss. Like there’s a hole in my heart and it will never be filled up again with Levi gone.

    I don’t think I’ll ever be the same person again.

    So this is what it feels like to be in love.

    This must be it. I can definitely feel it. I need Levi like I need oxygen; why didn’t I realize it before? Everything he did with Erwin is long past and irrelevant. I can clearly tell from the slap Armin witnessed and the phonecall I overheard that Levi is furious with Erwin and the sex was forced.

    The feelings of love that I have for him help me overlook everything bad and realize that Levi is the best thing that happened to me.

    Why did he have to die?

    By the time I get to his apartment complex, my thoughts are sorted out and my heart beats only for Levi.

    Hopefully, his might still be beating too.

    After the many flights of stairs, and slips and falls due to my being drenched, I am finally at his front door. It is unlocked and I cannot hear a sound save for the pouring rain.

    My heart is in my throat when I push the door open and finally witness the scene before me. Ms. Hanji is solemn, sitting on the coffee table and staring at Roger’s fishtank, facing away from the body that lies limp on the couch, covered mostly in a fleece throw.

    Ms. Hanji sees me and taps a finger to her lips to shush me for a reason I suppose is understandable.

    Don’t wake the dead.

    I tiptoe over to the couch on which an angel is resting in peace. I kneel down near his head, holding his clammy hand and lie my head down on his shoulder.

    And then I silently cry. I don’t think to verify whether he is dead or not, I just weep.

    All thoughts in my brain suddenly vanish except for those of an alive Levi: the sweet, rare smile he gave me when we cuddles, the taste of his tongue when we kissed, the fruity smell of his hair after a shower, the plush softness of his lips, the ecstatic sounds he made for me in bed.

    All of those bring more tears to my eyes to help me grieve for my loss.

   “Levi…” I whisper.

    Ms. Hanji shushes me immediately, rudely.

    Then I snap.

    I retort loudly, “Why the fuck must I be quiet?! He’s already fucking dead!!”

    I embrace Levi’s body and scream in agony, “Levi! Levi! LEVI!”

    The tears rush down my cheeks like a waterfall and my body shakes with sobs. There are so few words that can actually describe my feelings right now.

    And then one sound shocks me into utter silence.

    “Bitch.”

    The voice. That voice.

    “Why the hell did you wake me up, Zoë?”

    I’d recognize that deep, melodic voice anywhere.

    But...it can’t be…

    “Oh my God…” I release Levi’s body from my embrace and look into the same obsidian eyes I’ve looked into for months, “Levi...You’re alive…”

    His nose scrunches up in confusion, peeling me off of him, “Alive? Of course I am...What are you doing here, Eren? You’re absolutely soaked.”

    I blink quickly, “I ran over here in the pouring rain because Ms. Hanji texted me that you’re dead.”

    I shot a glare at my Chemistry teacher, who blushes in embarrassment, “Uhm, I meant ‘He’s dead’ as in poor Roger here...Sorry…”

    My chest tightens again, not because Roger is dead, or I’m angry at Ms. Hanji, but because Levi is alive.

    “Levi…” I hug him to my chest once again, the waterworks leaking, “Don’t leave me. Please. Not ever.”

    He wraps his arms around my torso, nodding slightly. I can tell that he is crying too.

    I kiss the crown of his head, “I love you so much. I will always love you like this.”

    “Me too…” he manages.

    I pull back slightly and, ignoring Ms. Hanji who probably isn’t paying any attention anyways, I lift Levi’s face up to look at me and then give him the most love-filled kiss I’ve ever given to him. Our lips move softly against each other’s, sticky from the crying, embracing tightly.

    We’re not planning on letting each other go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> almost done! 2 more chapters!


	29. Levi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the happy couple have some extra fun frosting-filled time!

    We hold a small funeral service among the three of us for poor ol’ Roger, the betta fish that became easily forgotten. We took advantage of his existence, along with Scout’s, who is moping around the empty tank, so Levi and I agree to take better care of our pets.

    Ms. Hanji leaves soon after, trailing a relieved “Happy Birthday, Eren!”

    I’m relieved too. With all of this post-break-up stress, I haven’t been able to think lately; my mind has been a jumbled mess.

    Now, my head can’t be clearer.

    Levi and I have been latched at the hip all evening. I can’t get enough of the smell, sight, and feeling that I’ve been missing for the past month and a half.

    All that’s left are the sounds and tastes I’ve been craving.

    Levi has been so kind that he felt like baking a beautiful birthday cake for me—the only time he detaches from me. I am forced to shower during that time because I smell like wet dog due to the rain, and Levi just noticed that I’ve been slightly shivering.

    I surround myself in warm water, washing myself with the shampoo and soap available. By the time I’m finished, I smell like Levi, and my cake is finished.

    I trot downstairs in only a pair of Levi’s boxers and a tank top, tossing my uniform into the washing machine before entering the kitchen.

    My vision is instantaneously shrouded in darkness as Levi’s black tie is tied around my eyes.

    “Levi?” I implore.

    “Oh, I miss you saying my name…” he breathes in my ear, almost a moan.

    I nearly shiver, “What are you thinking?”

    He ignores me and guides me to sit down on the couch in the living room, leaving probably to get the cake. Soon, something heavy bangs onto the coffee table—yes, definitely the cake.

    “Open wide,” he whispers.

    I raise an eyebrow, but oblige, “Aah…”

    A sweet morsel is shoved into my mouth and I can taste strawberries with a hint of chocolate. I chew and swallow it; it’s really amazing.

    “Levi?” I press, starting to take the blindfold off, “Why the-?”

    His slender fingers stop me, and a small strawberry pokes my lip so I bite it, pulling the entire berry into my mouth. Along with it comes a certain beauty’s exquisitely soft lips.

    Making out vigorously with my once-again boyfriend, I push the mostly uneaten strawberry into his mouth, where he chews it and swallows.

    We repeat this for a while, swapping berries in between heated kisses, fruity saliva dripping down our chins. Somehow, I manage to take the tie off of my eyes and deftly slip it around Levi’s. From then on, I can see the fluffy beauty of the strawberry-chocolate chiffon cake, and the cute way my angel grasps at the air like an infant, searching for my face. When he finds me, he pulls me into a kiss that is all lust.

    My boner rages in my borrowed boxers, heat building in my stomach. I haven’t felt this horny in months, and I am dying to devour Levi wholly.

    “Levi~” I say his name softly, rhythmically, lifting him to ride on my lap.

    “Hey, take the blindfold off…” he whispers, “I want to see your face…”

    I smirk, libido clouding my sensibility in the slightest, “Okay...Only if you play a little game with me.”

    “Anything,” he pulls off the tie and I snatch it from him, knotting it around his mouth.

    “You have to keep yourself from making any noise at all, otherwise the blindfold goes back on. Don’t want to wake Scout up, do we?” I leer, feeling absolutely, completely in charge; I haven’t felt this way in a long time since my life hasn’t been all that organized lately.

    Levi nods in acquiescence, and I tease his by thumbing his crotch. He jolts, but holds his tongue, unbuttoning his shirt and throwing it aside.

    I sneer, “Taking on a challenge, I see?”

    He raises an eyebrow as if to say, “I always do.”

    I lick a line up his chest to his neck. I bite and suck on his earlobe sensuously, and then I lower to give him a hickey on the side of his neck, tugging harshly on his long hair to expose his throat.

    I run my fingers up his back, making him arch into me, shivering but silent. I kiss down his shoulder, down his arm, to his left ring finger, which I take into my mouth and suck on, giving him my dark bedroom eyes.

    He looks away, but then shuts his eyes tight when I release his boner from his pants. I lick my palm to wet it slightly, and then proceed to give him a handjob, pumping his throbbing dick.

    Levi trembles, and I can tell how close he is to giving up; his eyes are watery and his fingernails are digging into my bare shoulders. He thrusts up into my hand, cock reddening as he nears his climax.

    “Aah!” a scream rips from his mouth, and I feel him pulse in my hand, releasing his load onto my borrowed shirt.

    I smirk, “Oh, that’s too bad. You didn’t last very long…”

    Wiping my hand on the wife-beater and then tugging it off, I tie the blindfold back around his eyes. He doesn’t complain this time, especially when I lie him down on the couch and pull off his slacks.

    Levi is fully naked and it’s like a whole new world for me, all over again. His pearly white skin gleams with a paper-thin layer of sweat. The onyx-colored coarse hair that gathers at his crotch grows sparse until his navel where there is none at all. His pink flush spreads across his cheeks, heating up his face, and down to his renewed hard-on which pulses in a way that sends my libido skyrocketing.

    I want to mess him up so badly.

    I swipe my fingers in the thick cake frosting, and then smear some in various places on my once-again lover. He trembles when I touch him, overly sensitive because of his present blindness. I spread as much of the icing as I can on him, frosting my birthday cake boyfriend heavily.

    “Levi~” I whisper in his ear, and he shudders in response, “You look so delicious; I could just eat. You. Up.”

    “Oh, Eren~” he whines, “Please do...I’m waiting—I’ve been waiting...for so long, Eren, for you to come back around…”

    His words become more sentimental as I devour every dollop of frosting, kissing every single centimeter of his alabaster skin, tinged pink with flush.

    “Eren~I missed you so much—ah!” he jolts when I bite his nipple, “I-I was so d-depressed…”

    I leave a hickey on the inside of his thigh, “I couldn’t eat for a while either, Levi...God, you taste like sugar…”

    He pouts, but then rolls his hips up when I kiss the head of his cock, “Mnn~It’s ‘cuz you slathered me up with strawberry frosting…”

    “Maybe,” I wipe my lips, knowing he doesn’t appreciate sweets quite as much as I do, before I pounce on him for a deep kiss. His fingers trace my shoulder blades with fine lines, scratching slightly with his nails.

    “Nn...Eren, God, hurry up and fuck me senseless! I need to be made love to so badly; I have been craving this moment for months!” Levi lifts his calves to rest around my lower back, one of them teasing the waistband of the boxers I am wearing. He tears the tie off, throwing it across the room so I can’t go get it. He focuses back on me, obsidian eyes gleaming like the rare stones they are, staring at the leaking tent at my crotch.

    I know what he needs. I know what I need.

    I need his love, and he needs mine.

    I kiss his cheek and then sit up, pulling down the dark boxers to reveal my ruddy cock, standing, pointing right at Levi, who shivers in anticipation.

    I life his calves to rest on my shoulders, and then reach over to dip in the frosting, coming back to lube my cock up with the sweet cream.

    Levi glances at my frosted length, “How filthy…”

    I look up, “You’ve never really complained all that much before...But do you want me to go get the real lube bottle?”

    “No fucking time,” he grabs my slick dick, aligning it with his hole, “This will just have to do...You know, I don’t seem to mind as much, if it’s you. I guess it’s because whatever you do with that body of yours makes me so very tick.”

    At that last word, I thrust deeply into him, bareback. Me, being able to find out what makes my insatiable, slutty, bossy, beautiful math teacher tick? I’m the only one.

    That’s enlightening.

    With every pound into Levi, I feel even closer to him. The shrieks and moans that arise from his lips are sounds only I can drive him into making. The tastes of his skin, mouth, and cock are slowly becoming my favorite flavors.

    This man. This is the man who used to drive me up the wall each day because I didn’t care to know the answer to number six. The man who made me scrub toilets and floors, and scrape gum off of the sidewalks and desks.

    This is also the man who broke down about his neglectful childhood, right in front of me. The pretentious man who actually said “I love you” first.

    This is the man whom I have fallen in love with.

    This is Levi.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one more chapter left!!!!  
> also, later on, when i finish the sketch dumps that i have not finished yet, check back on the fic for updates. I will post the pics here as well as on deviantart (username: nathaliafl123)


	30. Full Circle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Eren and Levi...

    “I’m done with this, Mikasa. It’s your problem now.”

    I drop the key into her open hand, glad to be finally rid of it. The symbol of both my incomplete past and my impossible future is gone; hopefully, I won’t ever be haunted by those nightmarish dreams again.

    My sister places the ancient key around her own neck, “Okay, Eren. If that’s what you want, I’ll try to figure out its meaning...with Annie.”

    I nod, leaning against her shoulder. We are on the couch in the living room at WOT, waiting for Levi to come and pick me up.

    I check Facebook, and it looks the same way it used to be: in a relationship, filled to the brim with pictures of me and Levi, and plagued by my friends’ idiocy.

    I twist my index finger around the new silver chain for my locket, then deciding to open the heart-shaped bronze. Inside are two new pictures, both of us making kissy faces at the camera, Levi blushing like a tomato because of the ridiculous pose I made him make.

    Now, this locket make me laugh in joy.

    I run my hand through my newly trimmed chestnut hair, satisfied with the fruity smell that wafts down from it. Levi did the cutting for me, as I did his. Our hair was simply getting way too long, but I have to say, I do miss his little ponytail.

    I made him promise me to tie it back up again when it’s long enough.

    “Eren.”

    Mikasa brings me out of my reverie, “Hm?”

    “He’s here,” she gets up and walks to the door, unlocking and opening it.

    I jump off of the couch and dash to the door, grinning from ear to ear.

    The open door reveals a Levi with an indifferent expression. That is, until he sees me, when his face melts into a warm smile.

    Here is Levi Heichou, my adorable Pre-Calculus teacher.

    Today is the day he’s going to quit his job.

~

    We know that we can’t be kept a secret for much longer. All of my friends know the entire story—as does Ms. Hanji, and now Ms. Ral, who is surely inclined to share the information with Mr. Bozado, her boyfriend.

    Pretty soon it will reach the school board.

    I don’t know when Levi is going to quit, or in what manner, but I do know that he actually wants it all to go down quietly. I would’ve expected him to leave with a big bang, but now that I think about it, we’ll definitely be completely revealed if he does, and then he’ll never be able to work as a teacher again.

    Probably.

    I don’t know the legalities of any of this, and neither does he, so we’re hoping Erwin won’t make such a big deal about it.

~

    “Well, I did it.”

    I am sitting at one of the lunch tables with Mikasa and Armin, scarfing down a peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich. When Levi utters these words, my mouth drops open. Armin looks at Mikasa, confused, so she explains.

    “He quit, Armin. Quit his job here,” she mutters indifferently, taking another heaping forkful of her caesar salad.

    “R-really?” Armin’s drink slips out of his hand, spilling all over the table, “Ah, crap!”

    He tries wiping it up with napkins, “So, who is gonna teach us Calc?”

    I look at Levi, who is now sitting next to me, and he shrugs, “Dunno. I’ll still do online tutoring videos for you guys though. It’s not like I’ve lost my degree. I can still help; go ahead and email me. I’m just not teaching. Not for a while.”

    “Not until after I graduate,” I bounce my eyebrows at him, so he shoves my shoulder because I’m dumb.

    “Hopefully there will be jobs for me somewhere,” he smiles, melancholy.

    Armin is still aghast, “Mr. Heichou, I still can’t believe that you gave up your teaching job...for Eren.”

    “Hey!” I feel slightly insulted, but Lev tousles my hair.

    “I can’t believe it either...but he does mean that much to me,” he kisses my temple, and I blush.

    Mikasa pretends to bark, “Gosh, guys. Just because I finally gave you my blessing doesn’t mean you can make out in front of me.”

    “We’re not making out!” I retort, but she covers her ears.

    “Get a room, already,” she mutters.

    Levi just laughs.

~

    A year and a half later, he is still laughing.

    “Whoa there, speedy!” he catches nine-year-old Inja in her new wheelchair. The other one was getting worn, so we bought her this one.

    Did I mention that she’s our adoptive daughter?

    Oh, for God’s sake, I didn’t even mention that Levi and I are married.

    I need to back up.

~

    After Levi quit his job, I moved into his apartment with him. The rent wasn’t much of an issue since he had money saved up to pay for it, but I got a job as a bookstore clerk anyways to pay for groceries and any luxuries.

    Levi soon got some odd jobs: supermarket clerk, Starbuck’s barista, waiter at Maria and Sina’s. Every so often, he would tutor some students from other cities, but he tried to stray away from those since the parents asked a lot of questions.

    People everywhere he went would ask him why he gave up his teaching job so suddenly. He always answered like this: “The principal was a horny asshole and my students never liked me anyways.”

    Okay, he didn’t always say it quite like that. And only half of it is true; when the new teacher took over for Levi, everyone couldn’t help comparing the two math teachers.

    Everyone said that they loves Levi far more.

    Especially me.

    I graduated this past June, and now it’s August. Soon, I’m off to community college; I plan on majoring in English later so I can become a teacher—go figure. I simply fell deeply in love with Ms. Ral’s Creative Writing course, and my senior AP Literature class that I couldn’t resist.

    Levi and I just got married this past month, and we decided to adopt Inja as soon as we could. Although she’s only about ten years younger than me, I love her too much not to adopt her.

    She’s become such an indelible part of our family.

    Levi loves her to the end of the world as well. She seemed to have grown on him in the past years, and recently she’s actually started calling him “Daddy.” I’m still just “Eren” but I really don’t mind it at all. As long as she is part of my new family.

    Levi has just started looking for an actual teaching job, and it doesn’t look like much longer before he finds one that is willing to take him. I feel extremely grateful for this as well.

~

    Levi calmly pushes Inja’s chair up to the dinner table, “Now, now, honey. Just because it’s new definitely doesn’t mean that you’re supposed to break it on the first day!”

    She pouts, “Sorry, Daddy...So, what’s for dinner?”

    Levi smiles. She always has him like putty in her hands.

~

    “She asleep yet?” I ask my husband as he gets into bed with me.

    “Yeah. She’s sawing logs,” he chuckles, snuggling up against my side, “Good luck tomorrow.”

    Tomorrow’s my first day at Shiganshina College.

    I smile warmly, even though he can’t see my expression because his face is buried in the crook of my neck.

    “Sleep tight,” I whisper, but he’s already out.

    I kiss his forehead, falling soon into a deep slumber.

~

    When I open my eyes, it is still dark. I can smell the musty odor of my cot sheets and the faint noise of water dripping somewhere. A cold draft blows from somewhere, although i doesn’t make much sense since I’m underground.

    “Did you have a nice nap?” a creamy voice barks from beyond my cell bars.

    I sit up and stretch, but am restricted by the cuffs around my wrists, “Yeah. I had an amazing dream.”

    “Oh yeah. What about?” the man comes into the halo of light coming from the kerosene lamp, and I can see that it’s Corporal Levi.

    I shrug, “I can’t remember...Uhm, but I think you were in it…”

    “Sounds interesting. Get up now, shitty brat; it’s time for breakfast,” he orders, walking away after unlocking the cell.

    I get up reluctantly. My fantasy has ended; it’s time to get back to reality.

    Everything has come full circle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #sorrynotsorryforthatending  
> thanks everyone for reading "My Clarity" and also thanks for the comments, bookmarks, and kudos  
> it was really fun and heartbreaking to write and I hope you all like it  
> i will update the sketch dumps sometime soon, so check back for updates  
> i will try to finish "that titan in her" and i will TRY to get my sister to finish "when camaraderie becomes passion" but she's really adamant about not finishing soon...


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